Or consider Kool-Aid: More Smiles per Gallon and Hair Color too.

In the realm of haircolor (or hair color), the luxe category features L’Oreal Paris with lovely (even famous) models and genteel sell copy: Completely different than the hair-coloring solutions found in small grocery stores, bodegas and hair supplement shops in any America city.

Welcome to the do-it-yourself aspect of hair coloring. It’s where American entrepreneurialism goes to market – there’s even a current Texas gubernatorial candidate whose fortune has been made in “hair color solutions.”

These colorful packages? The ones remind you of 19th Century religious chromoliths whose resemblance to actual human skin tones is utterly accidental?

Yes, yes, they are cost-effective. Please don’t read the tiny type on the box since you might see a panel that says: Do not use this product if you are ALLERGIC to radioactive waste.

There is a charm to these hair color products although several universities are still trying to decode what that is. Still, once you leave independent businessmen behind, it’s on to cultural adventurism. The onset of Chinese New Year prevents me from pointing out which Asian nation advises that gray hair can be prevented by including black beans, black sesame seeds and walnuts in your diet. (I am NOT making this up – feel free to choose between chemical imperialism and folk remedy.)

But wait. This frontier is hardly for Asians alone. America itself is where the craft element of hair transformation can pay big dividends. You can dye your hair with Kool-Aid® drink mix though you will not find this “trick” on the Kraft Foods website.

According to the hair-dyeing instructions, you’ll want to put on a pair of gloves to apply the Kool-Aid to your hair; and the longer you leave it on, the better the color will adhere to the hair. I would go for grape except my famous suffering from hair insufficiency. You try it and let me know how it goes.

When Did “Haircolor” Become One Word? And Why It’s Not a Bad Idea.

While I was keeping my own sparse hair under surveillance, L’Oreal Paris® turned “haircolor” into a singleton. I hadn’t noticed before. Don’t know when it happened. For some reason I was captured by its appearance in one of those beauty-related ads in Real Simple. There’s Andie MacDowell with a box of the color crème in question, saying, “It’s the haircolor that makes my hair look and feel younger.”  One word.

Nifty – because when I Google “haircolor” (like this, in quotes), L’Oreal Paris appears top-of-page. Without the quotation marks, Clairol is number one and L’Oreal is number two. When I Google hair color as two words, Clairol is tops. So by changing the usage, it’s possible for a company like L’Oreal to teach people a different term for a conventional product. I’m certain there are other executions of this idea. For quite a while, there were sunglasses and Foster Grants. But that’s a brand rather than a descriptor.

“Haircolor” could be a cultural campaign. Unfortunately, I don’t know if it’s a marketing/creative decision by the company or an oversight. On its many and broad-ranging websites, L’Oreal itself is inconsistent, often not using the word or words at all.

Who knew there were so many euphemisms? Color Crème. Color Formula. Gray Coverage. Revitalizer.

L’Oreal Paris is the largest part of L’Oréal and positioned as a mass-market premium brand. Only when I started reviewing its websites did I realize that haircolor (noun usage) was so huge. For a guy who can only use Grecian Formula 44 to dye his eyebrows, I can excuse my inattention.

As a marketing and advertising professional, though, I will have to force myself to look at MacDowell and all the other celebrities who are using haircolor – or whatever.