Instant Missionary

Yesterday morning, before the AMA Houston Tech SIG seminar, I was e-mailing my client about an upcoming project. She replied instantly, “I’m still in Colombia, at Monserrate, 10330 ft above sea level and gasping.”

I keyed in my message on the computer. She texted her reply from her Blackberry.

No road warrior will think this unusual these days. I didn’t think much about it myself – until about an hour-and-a-half later. One of the Tech SIG’s speakers, David Pulaski, opened up some new windows for me. Pulaski is the CEO of IMEinstein, a corporate name that’s just been adopted (and one of the more interesting brand identities I’ve noticed lately).

Part of his message yesterday morning is that companies should be using instant messaging – IM – far more than they already are.

He suggested that IM represents the next organized level of relationship marketing. Past marketing efforts represent Push: marketers and advertiser push their products, services and brands to their customers and prospect via traditional (and even non-traditional) methods. The present is represented by Search. Prospects search for vendors on the Internet.

The future, for Pulaski, is going to be composed of Presence-Based Communities in the form of desktop and mobile communications…not just to keep in touch, but to market and sell products and services by harnessing the mega-trend of the world’s largest instant messaging mechanisms. That means much more active and managed use of Yahoo!, AOL, MSN, Google Talk and other services to provide presence-based networking.

He urged us as marketers to find ways to add value to our prospects, in a way that includes us in his or her “community.” Well, I use this blog as a way to engage my community. But what if I’m in Colombia, 10,000 ft above sea level? I need more information. I need more toys.

The Tech SIG wanted to help us explore new technologies that present “marketers with unprecedented capabilities to reach their target audience in real-time, with messages tailored for that person and that moment. Instant messaging, cell phones, blogs and interactive websites enable us to engage our prospects in direct, person-to-person communications.”

Other speakers included Vui Le, President and CEO of Vuico, Inc.; and Jim Cahill and Deborah Franke of Emerson Process Management. All of them made dynamic presentations: Le about cellphone texting marketing opportunities and Cahill and Franke about corporate blogs. (You’ve read about Jim’s work with www.EmersonProcessXperts in previous posts.)

Pulaski tied IM into the real-world demands of corporate organizations – the management, the control, the measurement. You can access his Top Reasons to Use IM in the Enterprise here.

I’d like to get Pulaski to speak for himself about corporate use of IM, so watch this space. “Instant Messenger” is already an AOL trademark. He’s really more like an Instant Missionary.

Thanks to Geoff Webb at geoffw@futuresoft.com and Roberto Brunel at roberto_brunel@bmc.com for a great seminar. Graphic from Microsoft’s “10 tips for safer instant messaging,” here.

Pharma, RFID

No, no: it’s not a “rural free delivery” address. RFID means radio frequency identification. For pharma, it’s a critical topic.

I can show off these new ads thanks to Konsepti in Helsinki. The great Finnish agency created the concept for its client, UPM Raflatac. I wrote the headlines and copy. The ads are running now in their first US magazine, Pharmaceutical & Medical Packaging News.

Konsepti’s Timo Kivi brought me in on the project for the US market. What he told me:

RFID in the pharmaceutical industry is already a common issue. Opportunities and benefits are well known among very important top officers. Legislation is driving the development and there are numerous ongoing pilots. However the technology standard (UHF or HF) has not been defined yet.

The most important drivers behind RFID in pharma are patient safety, counterfeiting, retailer mandates (Wal-Mart) and finally FDA recommendations to implement RFID.

[But] Pharma differs from other RFID applications. In other retail applications pallet-level tagging is enough at the moment. In pharma item-level tagging is needed from the very beginning. That means bigger volumes.

Both pharmaceutical manufacturers and packagers get their questions answered in our campaign.

We generated alliterative headlines like “RFID Relief,” RFID Responsibility” and “RFID Reliability.” Then every ad’s copy stresses the reliability of UPM Raflatac technology – plus the company’s ability to solve problems from flexible packaging options to big, big volumes, like in the millions-of-units.

The main copy points and the tag line, “First to make it work,” are based on the fact that UPM Raflatac tags have been the most reliable ones in many research reports.

Each ad execution follows the UPM Raflatac corporate graphic standards: you can see how the standards play out here.

I said “our” campaign. It’s really UPM Raflatac’s, and Konsepti’s. I got the chance to make a contribution in (for me) a growing market: healthcare and medical...via the technology door. And internationally, to boot.

For pdfs of these ads, drop me a note. I’ll send them along to you so you can read all the words.

Konsepti Oy is a member of Dialogue International. Big-time thanks to Minna Liukkonen [Art Director], Satu Yliskylä [Account Executive] and Timo Kivi [Account Director].

Pirate King

Arrr! I had to be reminded. Today is National Talk Like a Pirate Day.

No proper Pirate I – but ‘twas saved by the mental acuity of a good woman. (Julie Stastny deserves the thanks of a grateful nation.)

Read all about it here, me hearties! Meantime, sing the words from a lyricist who never ever talked like a pirate, but I thought it would make a good celebratory gesture for you all. All together now!

Oh, better far to live and die
Under the brave black flag I fly,
Than play a sanctimonious part,
With a pirate head and a pirate heart.

Away to the cheating world go you,
Where pirates all are well-to-do;
But I’ll be true to the song I sing,
And live and die a Pirate King.

For I am a Pirate King!
And it is, it is a glorious thing
To be a Pirate King!

For I am a Pirate King!

W S Gilbert lyrics from Boise State University.

Hispanic Assimilation

The study I referred to below is “Linguistic Life Expectancies: Immigrant Language Retention in Southern California,” by Rueben G. Rumbaut, Douglas S Massey and Frank D. Bean. It has appeared in this month’s Population and Development Review and it’s available as a PDF download here, or go to the Princeton University site.

Its first sentence: “Empirical research generally supports the view that Latin Americans in the United States assimilate linguistically.”

Although it has just been released, this paper is already having a major impact on public policy discussions (as I mentioned). It’s not as though the study’s authors – academics all – are trying to play into some anti-immigration agenda. Browsing among their credentials and writings doesn’t place them on the right of the political spectrum, but rather more on the left, IMO.

Rumbaut, Massey and Bean portray shifting ground here, since the study would seem to indicate that the “American Melting Pot” gets every immigrant group sooner or later. It doesn’t have an immediate effect on marketing or advertising to first- or second-generation Hispanic-Americans…right now. It does support learnings from other sources, though, that Hispanic-American kids are more likely to be reached in English – again, IMO.

The study also suggests that when you choose to market to Hispanics in the US, you should choose your demographics carefully, the same way you’re supposed to do it for any other marketing effort.

What do you think?

El Grito

¡Mexicanos, viva México! Every year at midnight on September 15, Mexicans shout El Grito de Dolores.

This title is a pun in Spanish. Grito de Dolores can mean “The Shout from (the town of) Dolores” as well as “The Cry of Pain,” signifying the pain that the rule of Spain caused Mexico for three centuries.

Just before dawn on September 16, 1810, Miguel Hidalgo y Costilla made a decision that revolutionized the course of Mexican history.

A Catholic priest in the village of Dolores, Hidalgo ordered the arrest of Dolores’s native Spaniards. Then he rang the church bell as he usually did to call the Indians to mass.

The message that Hidalgo gave to the Indians and mestizos called them to retaliate against the hated gachupines or native Spaniards “who had been exploiting the wealth of the Mexican people with the greatest injustice for three hundred years.” Hidalgo’s fervent Grito was a passionate, unplanned decision.

Although a movement toward Mexican independence was already in progress since Napoleon’s conquest of Spain, Hidalgo urged the exploited and embittered Mexicans to recover the lands that were stolen from their forefathers. He called these people to revolution – a radical change in the original, more gradual plot devised by the criollos (Mexican-born Spaniards).

Hidalgo and El Grito spurred a long, violent social earthquake, almost without precedent in New Spain or the Americas: the Mexican War of Independence – a truly popular movement led by four hundred armed parish priests.

¡Mexicanos, viva México!

El Grito has particular significance today. First, Mexico is still roiled after its recent, contested presidential election. “Leftist protests forced Mexican President Vicente Fox to abandon plans to lead a traditional ceremony in the capital on Friday, the eve of independence day, the Interior Minister said.

“Fox, targeted by leftists angry at what they say was fraud at July's presidential election, will instead hold the highly-symbolic cry of independence in the central town of Dolores Hidalgo, minister Carlos Abascal told reporters on Thursday.”

Second, there’s the report from Princeton University and UC Irvine on Wednesday: “A few generations after families move to the United States from Latin American countries, fluency in Spanish dies out and English becomes the dominant language, according to a new paper published by sociology professors from New Jersey and California.” (See post above, Saturday, September 16.)

The report has raised its own ruckus…but not if you believe that America is really a melting pot (instead of a tossed salad). Almost 200 years after Padre Hidalgo in Dolores, El Grito still has meaning, still has force – it’s becoming part of our own national fabric as well as Mexico’s.

History inevitably connects us all. Better study it so you know what really moves people.

¡Mexicanas y Mexicanos, viva México!

Sources: the outstanding Mexico: Biography of Power by Enrique Krauze; Wikipedia; Reuters; International Herald Tribune. Illustration from www.redescolar.ilce.edu.mx.

“Downsizing” Home

This is “Downsizing at the Call Center” by Howard Sherman, mixed media on canvas. Now it’s been added it to the Baron collection. At 60” x 50” it is the largest piece we’ve every acquired.

Howard has said, “In my recent artwork, I have surged between abstraction and representation. More specifically, I have integrated biting comedy, social criticism, and gestural expressiveness.”

You want to see gestural expressiveness? You should have watched me trying to get this painting back to West Houston from The McMurtrey Gallery.

A surprising number of vehicles have a 48”-wide diagonal opening – I measured Barbara’s Prius, the neighbors’ Ford Explorer and a colleague’s SUV. Howard’s painting is 2” wider (wildly expressive gestures here). I was finally able to borrow the same neighbors’ giant Chevy pick-‘em-up.

If there is one thing more ridiculous than watching me drive a stick-shift reinforced half-ton across town and back, it’s showing up at a high-toned art gallery. And then bringing out the huge, contoured bed sheet with the daffodil pattern to use as a dust cover for the painting on the way home.

Roni McMurtrey was perfectly ladylike about the whole thing (achieved by ignoring the sheet altogether). Pick-up truck, sheet and painting finally rattled home. One of these objects will be hung once I get some picture hooks, etc.

The neighbors from whom I borrowed the pick-up are extra nice - we’ve known them a long time - but I could see they were baffled by the painting. (I can almost hear Debbie telling Joe, “If you ever bring that kind of thing into our house..!”)

Nevertheless, it’s here and I’m getting the hooks today (and possibly a derrick to lift it onto the wall). Pleased to have another Sherman. I have been standing in front of it and making…expressive gestures. Drop by and make your own.

Thanks and a tip of the Hatlo hat to the Houghtalings for “Rolling Thunder.”

Radio Mustang

“I think the primary function of radio is that people want company.” Elise Nordling said this. She is a well-known indie radio music director and DJ who spoke at this year’s SXSW in Austin.

She could’ve been talking about the Mustang Engineering radio commercials that have just finished running in the Houston area.

This radio campaign has just galloped across the finish line with great success. You know a radio campaign is a success when the client tells you how many people heard the spots and how it helped generate a huge turnout at the company’s career open house: almost 1,000 people showed up.

You read the start of this story last April when I blogged about “The Mustang Experience.” This post is about how Mustang and I took that experience to the air.

Putting Mustang on the radio took some twists and turns. Can you “visualize” radio? We initially visualized the radio campaign as pure recruitment commercials – every firm in the oil patch trying to hire exactly the right kind of people to keep up with the growing demand for services. Radio commercials offered Mustang a much broader reach for prospective hires.

Our creative discussions turned more and more to brand advertising: what makes Mustang Engineering a unique company. Listeners would hear the same people who appeared in the OTC video: we would splice one individual Mustanger’s key comments from the audio track with a booth announcer in every spot.

As the spots turned from recruiting to brand, the announcer (another Mustanger, Chad Supan) would ask questions that related more to Mustang Engineering as a company rather than just a place to come to work.

When we finished more than a dozen 30s and 60s for two different radio stations, our intentions had merged. The reasons Mustang is a remarkable “brand” are the same ones that make Mustang a remarkable employer.

To paraphrase Nordling, radio worked for Mustang because people wanted to hear about this company. Mustangers themselves gave listeners company.

Real Mustang people asked and answered questions about the company. We created time-critical Career Open House spots at the same time, announcing the date and location of the function. We ran the Open House versions on both KODA-FM and KILT-AM up through the day of the career fair.

The Career Open House was also supported by print ads in the Houston Chronicle prior to the event.

An outstanding turnout at the company’s first-ever Mustang Engineering Career Open House was our first measure of success. There were between 800-1000 people who stopped by to see what Mustang is all about. According to the managers, there were some unexpectedly high-quality individuals in attendance (“...with at least 830 of them being potential candidates”) and Mustang anticipates adding 40-50 people from the event alone.

Our second success metric was the positive feedback Mustangers got from people who said they heard the spots on the radio – over and over again.

Again, a lot of people helped make the 30-second and 60-second commercial campaign a succes: Chad Supan, Allison Miller, Brian Hadley, Tina Kutach, David Williams and Heather Broeder: The “voices” of Mustang in our campaign.

Mustang’s Dena Lee, Sharon Paul and Mark Payton have always been 110% supportive of the work needed to get the spots on the air.

Hats off to Jim Spurlock of Spur Texas, our rock-solid producer, switching easily between the booth announcer and audio clips and combining them into seamless commercials.

And extra thanks to our media reps – professionals who hardly ever get credit but deserve it for their patience and their guidance: Denise Partridge (KODA-FM) and Julie Stastny (KILT-AM Sports 610).

Radio Mustang has been a broadcast campaign with the heart of a winner. I’m glad I had a role to play in it.

Hispanic Direct

Coming late to the Hispanic market? The Selig Center for Economic Growth, at the University of Georgia, has just reported that in 2006 the purchasing power of the Hispanic market will match that of African-Americans. In 2007, Hispanics as a group will surpass all minorities.

At 12.4 percent, Latinos are the nation’s largest minority group, according to the US Census Bureau. It’s also the fastest-growing minority group, with economists predicting Latinos’ purchasing power will reach $1 trillion by 2008.

Jeff Humphreys, the Selig Center’s director, points out that Hispanics’ economic impact has risen from $212 billion when he started the assessments in 1990 and he expects it to be $1.2 trillion in another five years.

This “news” is not a surprise to marketing people who’ve been watching the growth of Hispanic-American communities and their buying power – even direct marketers. Despite the hindsighted nature of the Selig Center’s report, however, it’s causing some people to pose questions:

A broadcast producer and sports announcer in Omaha, Roy Coffman, recently asked, How is this going to change our Marketing and Advertising attitudes? Do we start paying a little more attention to Hispanic publications and broadcast media? Or do we simply continue down our familiar Yellow Brick Road?

We are seeing an ever-increasing number of Hispanic individuals moving into one section of the city. There they live, own their own businesses, shop in their own stores and their kids go to school, when they aren’t running back to Mexico to visit family members. Now how does the rest of the business community reach out to this demographic, or do we just sit back and watch? At least here in the Midwest this will be an ever-increasing question.

These questions have already been answered.

How and when? The facts have been staring most marketers in the face since at least the last census six years back. It’s not the “growing” Hispanic market that’s arresting – it’s already grown.

Marketers in Hispanic-Americans’ early, high-growth areas like California, Florida, New York, and Texas already know the right questions to ask, and have developed or adopted ways to reach these Hispanic markets, which are hardly monolithic.

Whether you come to it late or early, research has proven over and over again that Hispanics’ attitudes and feelings are currently based on different priorities than “mainstream” America – different cultural values that mean sales messages ought to be cast in different ways, in different voices. You have to think about communicating in someone else’s culture.

Meantime, is direct mail to Hispanics being overlooked?

I met Beatriz Mallory, CEO and chief strategist of New York agency HispanAmérica, when she spoke to an AMA group here in Houston last year. In Chief Marketer, she says, “I would say that the biggest misconception about the Hispanic market is that we don’t respond to direct marketing, that we don’t buy that way. But there’s plenty of evidence that we do. There’s client-based experience – [companies] like GE Consumer Finance have entire Hispanic marketing divisions set up to support [the] areas of their business [that] market direct to consumers.”

Today, in terms of direct mail or direct response marketing:
---The process of acculturation does influence Hispanic consumers’ perception of direct marketing. (Assimilation, however, is growing and that will affect the market’s future.)
---While most general market consumers dismiss direct marketing materials as “junk mail,” Hispanics (particularly recent immigrants) welcome it as a means of becoming a more informed consumer.
---Overall, Hispanic households are 3.5 times more likely to respond to a direct mail solicitation than non-Hispanic households.
---72% say they always read their mail, including direct marketing.
---60% of the direct mail sent to homes is in English.
---52% of the respondents speak only Spanish in their homes.

Companies like GE Consumer Finance, Kaiser Permanente and Reliant Energy have already been taking advantage of the statistics above and boosted their mailings to Hispanic households. So even if you can’t write in Spanish, you can aim for Hispanic markets. You need to have both an understanding of and practice in addressing Hispanic consumers’ wants and desires.

In the American here and now, direct mail to Hispanics is growing.

Thanks and a tip of the Hatlo hat to Direct Marketing Network, Houston, for the Reliant Energy direct mailer. Concept by Charles Eldred and Richard Laurence Baron.

Simply…Simple

Dear Ed: You asked, “if you run across a web site(s) that you particularly like, or that you think works with the copy you’ve written send it on over.” I can offer the one but not necessarily the other – perhaps it’s a start.

Barbara has been buying a couple of products called “Simply Orange Juice” and “Simply Lemonade” lately, from a company called Simply Orange Juice located near Apopka, FL. These are excellent products. As I usually do, I checked out the company; sometimes it’s a good thing to invest in companies whose products or services you really like.

You’ve probably heard of the products; they’ve been around for about five years.

I went to the company’s website. Ed, this demonstrates the kind of simplicity and elegance that I think would have a strong impact on your own brand thinking. I have been talking about maintaining a lot of white space. Simply Orange Juice does this very thing – but with the color orange. Orange is the white space.

Unlike some of the recent site samples you and I have reviewed, it is deceptive in its sophistication…and as you might expect, there’s a great deal more to the story than this apparently simple look.

First, Simply Orange Juice sounds small, but it’s actually a part of Coca-Cola. A story in The New York Times tells us that Coca-Cola created this brand to compete with Pepsi’s Tropicana Premium Pure line. Originally, it was supposed to be distributed through the company’s Minute Maid channels – but I don’t find a mention of the brand on the Minute Maid website. There have been a lot of changes at Coca-Cola North America. Simply Orange Juice appears on the Coke corporate site.

Second, there’s an fine write-up about the case from The General Center for Internet Services in Canada. You should read it. The case history points to some very clear issues that Sharpe Partners in New York City, the creators of the Simply Orange website, derived from research and addressed in the site’s design.

Marlena Schwarz, director of client strategy at Sharpe Partners, is quoted this way: “It’s a great example of how a marketer can build a website that is brand-appropriate as well as consumer-appropriate without having to spend $1 million, or even close to that. Forrester Research recently did a study asking consumers what they look for on packaged goods websites and then looked at what the sites are actually providing, and there is a disconnect going on.”

Among other things, the Forrester research indicated that consumers DID NOT want games, activities and “lifestyle” information…they want facts, free samples and special offers.

By cutting back on clutter and focusing purely on the “freshness” and “simplicity” of the brand, Simply Orange’s website pulls off what I think is a tour de force. Not so many bells and whistles. Not so many constant updates, or fighting to get the website to the tops of search engines.

I Googled “orange juice.” Simply Orange Juice has to settle for #7 on the first Google search engine page (Tropicana is #1) – so Coca-Cola is obviously doing extensive work behind the scenes to keep Simply Orange Juice right up there.

No, I don’t think this exact design style will work with the copy I wrote (unless we transform quite a bit of it into downloadable pdfs). Your brand is a business-to-business play. But I think that being guided by Simply Orange’s…simplicity…is a very good thing. And it may serve perfectly for your next brand concept.

Hats off to Sharpe Partners and Simply Orange Juice Company for an outstanding website.

“Business Development”

I was just introduced to an articulate, fascinating man whose primary work is “business development.” What does that term mean? I asked. When his comments were boiled down, his view of business development involved some very detailed work on healthcare information technologies: IT.

Our conversation wasn’t a dialogue. In that time and place, two people were talking about different things. He was all about features.

My POV was benefits – what’s the value of the technologies for the consumer (whoever the consumer might be: patients, doctors, nurses, medical administrators, hospital managers)? There was no common frame for us, black versus white. Business development (or IT, in this case) versus marketing.

Maybe you’ve confronted this challenge before. I have, in my work for some clients. It’s worth re-examining it right now. Anthony Huang, Chairman of Techxans, said in a recent e-mail, “As the Texas market is thriving once more, the demand for information technology resources are again on the rise.” That’s a little formal, statement-wise; but there is a growing level of IT activism (again) all over the country, fueled by new government regulations covering everything from corporate governance to doctors’ prescriptions.

The painful disconnects between IT deliverables and marketing are once again a hot topic – especially if you’re one of the companies (or agencies) suffering from them.

Fortunately for us (IT business developers and marketers), this is a path that’s already been explored. I want to refer you to an excellent article in CIO Magazine, by Lee Pender. Even though it appeared five years ago, in June of the Year 1, it is still relevant – and the cases it highlights are still apt.

Pender made some major points:

1. Gung ho salespeople make deals that IT can’t support. Marketing professionals want sexy new features installed on their companies’ web pages immediately. Companies lose deals because marketing's glossy image doesn't always accurately represent IT’s back-end capabilities. And IT professionals don’t always have the communication skills or clout in their company to withstand marketing’s demands.

2. As technology becomes more and more central to the operation of many companies, it is increasingly imperative that IT and marketing heal this longstanding rift.

3. The root of the problem is that CIOs and marketers have strikingly different job mandates and personalities. Marketers think about opportunities: raking in revenue with new accounts, promising new and more exciting services, dreaming up bold new images for the company. CIOs, by contrast, constantly deal with limitations: a nagging lack of IT resources, financial barriers to implementation of new systems, the frequent need to sacrifice exciting new projects in order to keep legacy systems up and running.

Pender included solutions-by-example, with stories from companies like Northrop Grumman, MCI and Thomson Multimedia. After five years, it’s more than likely that the people have changed jobs and the companies have certainly changed too.

The “how-to” of solving the IT development/marketing interface problem is just as valid here and now as it was in 2001.

“Oh,” you say, “our situation is completely different.” Is it? Are you (and I) condemned to repeat mistakes because we haven’t learned from our predecessors? I don’t think so.

IT can bring more pieces to the game than ever before. I suggest to clients that their IT people need to be involved with marketing plans; that Marketing people needs to talk with their IT departments to make sure they can deliver what we’re creating in terms of new sales channels; that we make a team effort out of the project. Everybody plays on the same board.

That way, “business development” is made whole – everybody benefits.

Elderberry Syrup

The bare facts are these. Barbara has been cleaning and rearranging the kitchen cupboards. She discovered a cache of fruit syrups put up by her sister, Stephanie Murphy, and given to us as Christmas gifts. In 1991.

I just tried the 15-year-old elderberry syrup on waffles. Not only is the elderberry syrup outstanding, it has turned into a liqueur. [See Note 3, below.] So I used more elderberry syrup on my waffles. And more. It’s outstanding! For somebody from Minnesota, however, such straightforward praise is a little over the top.

So it seems appropriate to try translating this series of events into Minnesotan*. Follow along closely so you don’t miss the action.

Barbara: “Hey, hon, look what I found?

Richard: “What is it, then?”

B: “Steph’s elderberry syrup. Don’t know how long it’s been back there. Kinda funny what gets pushed into the back of the shelf, doncha know?”

R: “It says ‘elderberry syrup’ right there on the label, sure enough.”

B: (removing the obligatory scrap of decorative cloth on the Mason jar’s lid.) Will you look at this. Steph put this up in 1991.”

R. “That’s different.”

B. “Wonder if it’s still good?”

R. “Well, if a guy was to try it, maybe he’d find out whether it’s still okay or not.”

[Note 1: The elderberry syrup was NOT found during breakfast. Even though we now live in Texas, one of us still follows “Minnesota Rules” during breakfast time, mostly: You get up and sit in your bathrobe and stare until the coffee is done. Maybe you have a doughnut with your second cup. When the other members of your household wander in, you don’t speak unless spoken to.† Barbara would never have discovered Steph’s syrup during breakfast – it’s just not done. Back to our story.]

B. “You don’t have to do that.”

R. “It’s no problem. I was going to have waffles anyway.”

B. “No, I wouldn’t want to put you out. I’ll just open it up and see – it’s probably gone off or something.”

R. “You don’t have to go and do that. I’m going to have the waffles…may as well try a spoonful, just to see if it’s any good – not that Steph doesn’t make great syrup.”

B. “Well, if you’re going to do it, let me just pry off that lid. Seems a little stuck.” (She does so, using a ‘church key’ imprinted with the logo of the 1981 Bemidji, Minnesota, Wild Rice Pageant and pouring the syrup into a bottle.) “There you go.”

R. (Pours some syrup over his waffles. Takes a bite.)

B. “Well, how is it, then?”

R. “Seems kinda different, you know? In a good way, though.” (Takes a few more bites of the waffles.) “A guy could maybe get to like this.”

B. “You thinking about trying some more?”

R. “I don’t need it, really. But hey, as long as the bottle’s right there, maybe I could have just a little more of it.”

B. “I guess it’s the least you can do, seeing that Steph went to the trouble of making it.”

R. (Pouring about half the bottle over the remains of the waffles.) “Yeah, well, boy!”

B. “I guess it’s okay, then?”

R. “It sure beats some of that other stuff we been paying 20 bucks a bottle for down at Spec’s.”

[Note 2: Spec’s is a Houston institution, an immense liquor store that has about a thousand different wines, whiskeys, beers and liqueurs – not the kind of exotic retailer you’d ever find in Minnesota, whose inhabitants are suspicious of excess.]

B. “Well, that’s a keeper, then?”

R. “Not to bad a deal, really. Kind of a shame it’s gone, mostly.”

B. “There’s another jar here with the same date on top, only it’s strawberry.”

R. “Heckuva deal.”

[Note 3: In 2006, an elderberry liqueur with 17% alcohol won a Silver in the Great Taste Award run by the Guild of Fine Food Retailers. These awards are regarded as the “Oscars” of the fine food world and recognize the exceptional standard of food and drink available in Britain, which is somewhere over thataway with people who kind of sound just like Minnesotans, only different.]

B. “What are you going to do for the rest of the morning, hon?”

R. “Think I’ll go out back and cast for some walleyes.”

B. “Are you all right, Richard? I can’t recall there’s ever been any fish in our swimming pool.”

R. “Whatever.”

*We moved to Houston in ’84, so it has been quite a long time since I spoke Minnesotan. I used a book by Howard Mohr called How To Talk Minnesotan: A Visitor’s Guide as a kind of a reference guide. It’s about 20 years old now and I guess it’s a pretty good book, thought Barbara doesn’t find it nearly as funny as I do. But that’s because I was never a real Minnesotan in the first place. Maybe you’d like it, or not.

†This part is an exact quote from Mr. Mohr’s book. I wouldn’t want him to think I was trying to get away with anything here. He might still be alive.

Photograph © 2000 Rosie Lerner, Purdue University.

F Minus

The ladder. That’s what I noticed about this cartoon strip from Tony Carrillo. “F Minus” has been picked up by the Houston Chronicle recently – United Media just syndicated the strip this past April.

I enjoy it. Minimalist and funny. But here the cartoonist’s blatant disregard for the basics of workplace safety…well, it’s shocking. Shocking.

A major consumer organization, which must remain nameless because of its rigorous and heavily enforced policy of complete independence, issued a compelling review of ladders in its magazine: the September 2006 number, pages 42-44. Clearly, Carrillo’s ladder wouldn’t meet the standard of the American National Standards Institute (ANSI). No spreaders. Of course, the article quotes a leading ladder expert who said that side-stability tests haven’t been substantially updated for more than 25 years.

The standard is older than the cartoonist.

Then there’s the American Ladder Institute; don’t get me started about it. It claims there’s a revised ANSI 14 Standard available. You should download its “Ladder Safety & Education” single-sheet here right away.

Today’s CONSUMER WARNING: Don’t let Carrillo’s image of the ladder lead you astray. At least follow the consumer organization’s three how-to-choose steps:

1. Look beyond the label.
2. Consider the material.
3. Try before buying.

Oh, yeah: the artist misspelled the word “Signs.” Maybe that’s his idea of a gag. Humph!

Strip ©Tony Carrillo/Distributed by UFS, Inc. Please, Mr. Carrillo, don't take it out on me.

AKBank Ad

Watch this TV commercial for AKBank in Turkey. It’s called “Akbank Türkiye’nin Yenilikçi Gücü” and it’s terrific: must-see advertising.

Stop reading for a minute and go to the bank’s website; click on the picture from the commercial (or try this), and run the commercial for yourself.

The commercial’s in Turkish. Normally, that’d be a problem for me. But first, AKBank has an English version of its website. It’s clear the bank is committed to supporting the growth of Turkey and Turkish business…particularly the technology sectors…and you can get this conceptually from the outstanding commercial without understanding a word of the language.

Fortunately, Renan Tavukcuođlu explained it all to me. The “back story” is always the extra added attraction. Renan is Stratejik Planlama at Oyku, our Dialogue International affiliate in Turkey.

He told me that the objective of the commercial was not to bring in new AKBank customers, but a work of image with great messages. It’s a brand spot. Renan gave me the translation of the Turkish titles:

To grow
To be innovative
To support
To give energy
To be creative
To move forward
For Turkey
To grow and to help you grow

He added these additional notes:
...The TV spot aired during World Cup 2006
...It enjoyed great success in terms of repeat views
...150 South African dancers took part
...It was shot in South Africa in five days
...The music (which played a major role in success) is by Ömer Ahunbay
...Penny Jones, creator of the opening ceremony of the Olympic games, made the preparations for the shoot.

Its music aired on radios and everybody knew what commercial it was. The campaign used all media (print, outdoor, etc.) during World Cup 2006 and now it’s over.

You can still watch it on the bank’s website. See some innovation and energy – and pure visual fun – from the Turkish advertising industry.

Many thanks to my colleagues at Oyku in Instanbul and Ankara.

New Above

What’s in your attic? In ours, it’s a new Ruud 5-ton furnace, complete with fan drive. (This is the important bit - read on.) About 8.30 Wednesday night, the air conditioning system gave a mortal groan…and stopped. Our a/c went u/s…out of service. Kaput. Joined the Choir Invisible.

Thursday here it was 105°F. For two days, the temperature in the house rose in direct proportion to the day’s heat index and beyond. On Friday afternoon, it was actually cooler outside than inside.

Makes you wonder how William Faulkner actually got any writing done, back in the drip-sweat-on-the-paper days before home air conditioning. I didn’t, much; which is probably why I’m a somewhat-known ad-guy instead of a famous novelist.

Fortunately, our long-time HVAC service company, Sun Air Conditioning & Heating, came out on Thursday afternoon. Unfortunately, after a lot of banging about, Richard Socha (the Sun service tech) made his way down our rickety ladder bearing an immense double-shafted electric motor with two blowers attached. Further unfortunately, the manufacturer of this particular apparatus itself went belly up about five years ago. Replacement unit not available. We were double-shafted ourselves.

Thursday evening was not comfortable. It took three Martinis to get me into a soaking sleep. But the Sun team came out again on Friday with our new upstairs thing. It took three of them to hoist the thing up into the attic. And by 5P, we were back in business. In my case, you should take that literally.

Thursday and Friday were the times that try men’s souls. Barbara wasn’t too happy either. And yes, it took a certain level of…investment…to get ourselves back into the comfort zone.

Thanks to Sun, we're once again the height of cool. A good thing, too: above 100°F, photographic film (remember that?) turns reddish. The coatings of pills melt. The energy starts to drain from batteries. Barbara glows. Richard sweats all over the keyboard. That’s just plain Ruud.

Photo of a completely different but decorative piece of machinery by Sten Porse, Jutland, from www.commons.wikimedia.org. With thanks.

About Kin

The moderator of the AdRants section of SoFlow asked a question that generated more than 50 responses. The question was, “Is it fun being you?” My answer (short form): “Yes.” Part of the fun is the people I know. Part of the fun is thinking about the people I know. Which generated the lines below – the porch is in Atlanta and belongs to Bob and Edith Fusillo.

Fourteen Lines About Kin

Locusts sing in the daytime.
They sit in the sun and fiddle madly
Knowing that their lives are short.
They don’t care.
It’s their song in the sun.

Cicadas sing at night.
Can’t you hear them when the breeze is still
And the pines are tall and dark?
They don’t care.
It’s their song in your sleep.

Locusts sing in the daytime,
Cicadas sing at night,
Edith told us sitting on her porch.
“One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.”

Copyright © 2006 by Richard Laurence Baron. May Shakespeare forgive me.

Nucor Ads

A small note in today’s Business Section pointed out that Nucor (NYSE: NUE), the steel company, had just announced outstanding quarterly results – 21% revenue growth and a 40% rise in operating income. Superb numbers from what’s supposed to be a “dead” industry here in the US.

It also reminded me of Nucor’s fine ad campaign, which should be filed under “ads I wish I’d done.”

The ad agency, though, is Eric Mower & Associates Group B2B, an outstanding shop with a great track record. You can see the whole portfolio of Nucor ads here. The campaign’s been featured in the September, 2005, issue of US Ad Review. Just as important, the ads’ look and feel have been carried over to Nucor’s website and other materials.

You know it’s hard to connect business results with advertising, especially in industrial categories. But the industry, at least, has noticed: Traci Purdum bylined an article in Industry Week a few months back that specifically highlighted the ties between Nucor’s advertising claims and Nucor’s performance. The same ad campaign has to have had its effects on investors in this industry segment as well.

Give Mower and Nucor a big round of applause for bringing (and sustaining) a fresh look in an “old economy” industry. Can you say the same for your advertising?

Nucor ad from www.mower.com, with thanks.

Inventor Dies

James A. Van Allen, 91, who invented the famous white belt that made the polyester leisure suit the hallmark of the early ‘70s, has died after a heart attack August 9 at a hospital in Iowa.

Van Allen’s creation actually allowed the leisure suit to reach its fullest potential, the Full Cleveland. As one commentator has noted, “…your basic 70s traveling salesman stereotypical getup [included a] brightly-colored polyester leisure suit, shiny white belt and shoes, clashing colors...”

Mild and unassuming, the inventor/scientist was always secretly disappointed that he did not get credit for his fashion statement. He had to settle for his fame as the discoverer of the Earth-circling radiation belts that bear his name. He also sent spacecraft instruments to observe the outer reaches of the solar system. Far better known as an early pioneer in US space exploration, his obituary is here.

Photo from www.illawarrabowlsshop.com.au with thanks.

Markus Natri

When Dialogue International had its first Managers Meeting in Helsinki, Finland, years ago, that’s when I met Markus Natri. We sailed across to Suomenlinna Island and Fortress, where the Finns introduced us to the world’s largest sauna (originally designed to contain a Finnish Army infantry platoon). The idea: get all these agency managers into the sauna, let them wrap themselves up in sheets, then run ‘em down to the rocky shoreline and push the lot into the Baltic.

Truth: even in June, the Baltic is bloody freezing, breath-stopping cold. The Finns got a big yuk out of that. I think I was brave enough to do it once. Karl Woerlen, CEO of WWW (our German member agency in those days) did it three times – one tough guy.

The entire gang (which included Barbara and Rachel) warmed up considerably on the sail back across the harbor to Helsinki with food and drink – lots of drink. And songs and stories led by Markus. This is the same trip Markus and the Konsepti team introduced me to Lapinkulta beer and a particularly staunch liqueur called Salmiakki Kuso…if I needed more hair on my chest, this would have grown it. The Finns thought that was pretty funny, too.

Now Konsepti, one of Dialogue International’s original and longest-term members and Finland’s best independent agency, has announced: “Markus Natrista Konseptin uusi toimitusjohtaja.” For us English speakers, it means Markus has just been appointed Konsepti’s new Managing Director.

In making this appointment, Martti Viitamaki and Timo Kivi have established new leadership for this outstanding agency in Helsinki. For me, it means seeing a friend and colleague achieve a considerable position in his career – one that he deserves and will fill the post with energy and good humor.

Best wishes for a great future, Markus, for you and for Konsepti. And keep that sauna fired up – I hope to be coming back to Helsinki someday soon.

Suomenlinna photo by Tomtom-Paris, with thanks.

Dear Howard

Walking into the McMurtrey Gallery here and seeing your newest work covering the walls was as fulfilling an experience as I have had in weeks.

The colors, the liveliness – the lives of your paintings – gave me a sense of history. Too exaggerated, maybe, but it’s how I feel. Since I bought your figurative “Moment of Clarity” four years ago, you’ve given me the chance to see an artist develop his work into new and more expansive expressions. Usually, I get snapshots of artists’ careers: the single piece here and there in a gallery and museum; then the occasional retrospective that lets me see how a painter grows and changes over the years.

These are different times, especially for the occasional collector who doesn’t live in art-centered New York City, San Francisco or London. You’ve not only continued to develop (in leaps and bounds). You’ve communicated that development actively with your friends and collectors.

When I talked with Roni McMurtrey yesterday, she went considerably beyond her role as gallery director. She was as proud of you and your “Venti Americano” show as any parent and with good reason. The fact that every piece (except one) had little red “sold” dots beside it is just part of it. The two stunning new works you’d just brought in – and which were already spoken for – was another. She was particularly thrilled with the idea that your talent has been increasingly recognized, and that new fellowships are coming your way.

I don’t have the eye or the vocabulary to have written a review like the one by Keith Plocek in the Houston Press. My own efforts (like this past post) haven’t conjured up the descriptive imagery he used: “Happy, violent, dark, bright, expressive…”

I do know that the McMurtrey intends to hold your show over for at least another week, ‘til August 12th, and that most of the patrons have agreed to leave their Howard Sherman pieces on her walls until the show is over.

I’ll pass the word in the usual way, because other people should see the exhibition in this outstanding space. I hope others will look at your new works on the interactive portion of the gallery’s website.

Keep it up. All the best from your hometown…and one of your early fans.

“DMO,” mixed media on canvas, 60” x 50”, Howard Sherman. Courtesy of McMurtrey Gallery, 3508 Lake Street, Houston, TX.

AWNA Announced

NEW LAW PROPOSED: AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT

WASHINGTON (August 3) - Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNA) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition. It is widely seen as one remedy for the complaint that Americans cannot do low-paying or “demeaning” jobs.

“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said Barbara Boxer (D-CA). “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they do a better job, or have some idea of what they are doing.”

Former President Bill Clinton pointed to the success of the US Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. Approximately 74 percent of postal employees lack job skills, making this agency the single largest US employer of Persons of Inability.

Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the inept include retail sales (72%), the airline industry (68%), and home improvement “warehouse” stores (65%). State DMVs also have a great record of hiring Persons of Inability (63%).

Under AWNA, more than 25 million “middle man” positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.

Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.

Finally, the proposed new law contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning discriminatory interview questions such as "Do you have any goals for the future?" or "Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?"

“As a Nonabled Person, I can't be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint, MI, due to her lack of notable job skills. '”This new law should really help people like me.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Said Senator Ted Kennedy (D-MA), “It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation.”

Thanks and a tip of the Hatlo hat to Rob Schoenbeck and The Onion.