LACTROL© Mooves

When you haven’t had a chance to use a cow or a pig in an ad campaign for a couple of decades, it’s nice to put ‘em up on the board. So thanks to Houston agency CMS for getting me involved, along with designer/art director Dan Fisler, in creating this new campaign.

Now appearing in ethanol-related publications, the new ads for PhibroChem’s LACTROL antimicrobial gave me a chance focus on consumers: Cows, pigs and chickens. (There’s a third ad with the chicken, that didn’t make it out of the hen house.)

As usual in business-to-business advertising, this wasn’t a straightforward assignment. PhibroChem Division of Phibro manufactures this LACTROL brand of virginiamyacin to effectively control the bacteria that occurs when corn ferments into alcohol. The bacteria reduces the production of ethanol.

At the same time, it contaminates “distiller’s grains” – the afterproduct of ethanol production that is used for animal feeds. Which means that animal feeds could be contaminated as well. Use LACTROL and ethanol producers can produce uncontaminated byproduct, which they can then sell for safer feeds.

Market-proven LACTROL also happens to have a “No Objection” letter from the US Food and Drug Administration. It’s a safety point and a selling point…the reasons behind PhibroChem’s moove into the feed contamination issue. (There’s another one of those awful puns – mark it up to Saturday.)

I’m glad to have had the chance to create the headlines and copy – a well done to Fisler for the art direction.

Bat Radarless

The Associated Press wired a story this morning about a newly discovered bat fossil. The fossilized remains answered a scientific question: When did bats gain their radar-like ability to navigate and locate airborne insects at night?

The answer is: After they started flying – as is evident to paleobiologists from this 152-million-year-old fossil.

This is well-known among avionics companies, however. A distant forerunner of existing airborne systems such as the E-10A aircraft’s Joint Surveillance Target Attack Radar System (Joint STARS) was ordered and installed in relatively early models of the bat family only as far back as 45 or 50 million years ago, according to Johann Flogl, airborne systems program manager for Raytheon. “The fossil microbat, Palaeochiropteryx tupaiodon, from Germany’s Messel deposits is over 45 million years old – there is an obvious installation, in fact.”

Although early contracts are no longer available for inspection, installations for a number of models of the Vespertilionidae family have been going on for millions of years. No information about the value of the orders for early airborne electronic systems is available.

Current airborne radar systems have far surpassed bats’ echo-location models; modern offensive radar can track evasive cars and wagons through city streets, and simultaneously track low-flying cruise missiles. Bats, on the other hand, have “ceased to be an economic market for most multi-national companies today,” says an anonymous spokesman for the US Defense Consortium.

The very early Wyoming bat lacks the airframe structure necessary to support the emission of “squeaky sounds” and the reception of resulting echoes. “This would have prevented a retrofit program. Too bat for him,” jokes Flogl.

Photo: Royal Ontario Museum and Nature.

Leaving Footprints?

What’s a social networker to do? There’s no doubt that marketers don’t (or no longer ought to) broadcast messages to a massive, passive audience. There’s a reason which the term “opinion leaders” goes back to 1955…but you can contrast this idea to some of the recent Super Bowl XLII – interesting if you have a leading opinion about Dalmatians or Richard Simmons (I was bemused by the Bridgestone commercials, so sue me).

“The Cluetrain Manifesto” was written almost 10 years back and it is now accepted that markets are conversations. I won’t even put that in quotes, it’s becoming a bit tattered.

More and more new mechanisms – like Facebook – are being used for marketing. More social conversations. More prospective marketing interactions. So web marketers are hoping that social networks like Facebook will take Internet advertising into its “fourth phase,” beyond search advertising. Marketers not only want to observe consumers’ conversations (via tracking), they want to participate in those conversations.

Okay – social media is on the right path. One possible challenge, though, is that you may not be able to leave the party once you’ve joined it – I mean like the Communist Party, not the St. Andrew’s Day bash at your local.

Too long a lead? Apparently, you never actually disappear from Facebook. Even if you opt out of sharing information. Even if you deactivate your account. According to a copyrighted story by Maria Aspan in yesterday’s New York Times, “Some users have discovered that it is nearly impossible to remove themselves entirely from Facebook, setting off a fresh round of concern over the popular social network’s use of personal data.”

As Aspan says, disenchanted users can’t disappear from the site without leaving footprints unless they rigorously delete their data, line by line, and then deactivate. (You can read more, by blogger Steven Mansour, in his own dramatic post here – which is also mentioned in the NYT article…very in-your-face.)

So it’s social interaction vs personal privacy. On the one side, you ought to be responsible enough to realize that your personal stuff is, like, on billboards where everyone can see it, right? Yep, you may very well regret showing off those tattoos (or body parts) at some future point in your life. But there’s no 1984 here, no way to go back most of the time and erase those embarrassing – or even worse – items. So social interaction websites ought to be touched with some human thought…yours.

On the other side, (most) marketers don’t really want to know in detail what you did after leaving the bar with your work buddies Friday night. Marketers normally want “you” in specific portions, not you in particular and personally. Why? Principally, I think, because they don’t have the time for one-to-one selling, though this does occur. I choose not to speak for the government.

I was just invited to join the Only in Houston group on Facebook and since I use the site, I thought, “Why not?” Maybe Ann Iverson will buy me a Martini. I don’t believe any information I have on Facebook will horrify anyone, I don’t care about that. Maybe I’ll have more conversations this way.

But do consider that every participant in a conversation leaves footprints (I know, it’s a mixed metaphor). A talented marketer, advertiser or publicist will follow those footprints and, perhaps, try to engage you in additional conversations. That’s what we’re paid to do, we want to involve you somehow in the brands we represent. The real trick is to make the action – and the conversation – meaningful to both parties in the conversation. How come? The Internet is a two-way street. The person leaving the footprints can easily track yours as well.

If you want to stop leaving footprints altogether, it’s going to you take a lot of work.

Big Read

I meant to write about the Big Read on Sunday but I was involved with a “big read” of my own, trying to finish The Age of Turbulence. It’s not exactly portable. Plus, this post is meant to be a preview; something fun’s coming later in the year.

The idea that reading needs to be marketed is a little strange to me – but then I remember Woody Allen saying, “I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in 20 minutes. It was about Russia.”

The Big Read is “an initiative of the National Endowment for the Arts to restore reading to American culture.” I’m in favor of it and there’s a strong push nationally for the program.

Our First Lady, Laura Bush, has been touring the country about The Big Read – good PR for the initiative from the nicest First Lady (so I hear) that’s been in The White House since…well…her mother-in-law. Maybe nicer. The most significant promoter of reading in this country is Oprah Winfrey and more power to her (although she seems to be doing fine even without my best wishes).

What are you doing to help? Suppose you’re an ad agency, or PR firm, or graphic design outfit – and you think reading is vitally important not only to America but to democracy as a concept.

And you want to do some pro bono work that’ll get you more noticed? (Most agencies have to turn this kind of thing away ‘cause it eats their lunch, right? This is not a topic I want to get into right now.) You go to The Big Read website, maybe read some of the very good blog by David Kipen. And you’re inspired to find out where in your neighborhood, city or county you can lend a hand…as a professional marketer and communicator. Go ahead. I think it’ll be a great idea. Plenty of books to choose from, too.

Some advertising agencies get publicly involved in promoting The Big Read but they’re hard to find. White Light Advertising in Bridgeport, CT, worked on the media plan for The Big Read initiative in the southwestern part of the state – the agency used radio, cable TV ads, bus wraps and grassroots programs. The news is on the agency’s website, which is where the ad above came from.

I would have liked to see some results of this particular campaign – but maybe it shows up with kids checking out more library books…or adults getting turned on to something they would no otherwise have even considered. (“I only read the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue for the articles!”)

Maybe this is a good time to get the Houston chapter of the American Marketing Association involved…an organization filled with enthusiasts! Any road, keep an ear cocked for the next Big Read initiative that comes your way. There are plenty of worthy causes but this one won’t force you to pedal 180 miles to Austin.

Daughter Downunder

A quick Saturday note: I’m directing you to the “Australia or Bust! ‘08” blog (remember, just click on that word and you’ll go there). Over the next four months, it will describe the adventures of Rachel Elizabeth Baron and Alison Bond in Oz, where they’ve traveled to work, hang out and get away from the New York winter.

First, there’s the obligatory joke; you know, the one that starts with the Texan rancher who goes to Australia for a vacation – and because a little “bidness” never hurts, he drops by a National Farmers’ Federation party.

There he meets an Aussie farmer and they get to talking…which leads to a visit to the Australian’s farm – called a station down under.

Followed by the Aussie’s faithful bluey, they stroll around the station and the Australian shows off his extensive wheat field. The Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as big as that.”

They walk a little further, and the Aussie points out his herd of cattle (no sheep on this station). The Texan immediately says, “Well dang, we’ve got longhorns that are at least twice as big as your critters.”

The conversation is, pretty obviously, dying out when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He double-takes, then asks, "What are hell are those?”

The Aussie replies offhandedly, “Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas, mate?”

Now Rachel and Alison are a long way from home. I know they’d appreciate hearing from you, especially since it’s so easy. Under any particular post, click on the word “comments.” That’ll take you to a fill-in-the-blanks area in which you can…uh…comment.

They’d appreciate hearing from you, I bet, especially with the size of them grasshoppers.

Coffee Plantation

Before there was Starbucks in Phoenix, Arizona, there was Coffee Plantation. I met an elderly medico, Dr. Joe Kennedy of the VA, in the chain’s Biltmore Fashion Park store on East Camelback Road. “You used to come in, it would be crowded, and you’d hear every language on the planet!”

It’s still popular but to a visitor, it has the feel on an also-ran – Starbucks in the measuring stick now, the brand to which other coffee chains are compared. The fact of the matter is, Barbara and I were in Phoenix for family business, weren’t really out to enjoy ourselves – and could hardly find a good cup of coffee. (We stayed in the McDowell & 32nd Street area…not much around there.) First, anybody who thinks Dunkin’ Donuts is a challenge for Starbucks needs to drop into one or two of the DDs in Phoenix: Yuck. Second, even McDonalds coffee didn’t seem to have a good taste.

Yes – I’m a coffee snob. Then somebody told me about Coffee Plantation and I thought riding the brand would be worthwhile. I ought to be clear: the cup of “Ethiopian” coffee I had at Coffee Plantation was as good, as fresh and powerful as any African I’ve had. Thanks for that.

On the other hand, this isn’t a chain that goes (or has gone) out of its way to make itself more competitive, at least not based on my single visit. Because of the ubiquitous nature of Starbucks trade dress, this Coffee Plantation store looks similar, but a bit bigger. It offers a couple of computers and plenty of seating. There are fresh pastries available.

But there’s a real sense of has-been to the Coffee Plantation store. (As far as I can tell, the chain was once owned by Diedrich Coffee, but no longer – perhaps some managers bought it out?) No billboards I could find. No strong brand merchandizing, no back-story material. None of the customer involvement devices for which Starbucks is famous. Presuming I’ve even got the right website, Coffee Plantation is stuck in the last century electronically. There’s worse, and I’m not alone in perceiving it.

Take a look at the store reviews on Yelp.com. Scottsdale’s Christy L noted, “As I approached the counter the employees were bent over by the milk cooler, so engrossed in a conversation that they failed to notice my presence.” Thomas S of Phoenix chimed in, “Just because you have the word Plantation, implying old Southern American charm, in your name doesn't mean you can’t provide modern services like clean restrooms? Perhaps you could sweep the floor. And wipe down the counter. Oh, I know, maybe the pigeon poo could be scraped off the tables.”

The feeling of the store is cheap goods and cheap labor– the polar opposite of bustling, smiling Starbucks baristas. And yes again, this is based on a single visit.

Bad service drives out good customers. No matter how popular the chain was once upon a time, it seems as though Phoenix’s Coffee Plantation brand could use a double shot of espresso right about now.

Liquid Al

For all my carryings-on about functional beverages, take note of the brand stories in both “Tunguska Event” and yesterday’s “Functional Beveraging.” Next, consider the coincidence that came my way yesterday.

Here’s another. Lauren Rottet curated “Imperative Design” which opened last night at the Barbara Davis Gallery. The most impressive piece in a very good show was the Ross Lovegrove “Liquid Al Bench” you see above – more than 10 feet long, 2 feet high…a brilliantly present example of the industrial designer’s vision and art. (Al in this case means aluminum: It’s a single piece of milled aluminum, polished to a mirror finish.)

What has this bench got to do with advertising and marketing? Because Lovegrove is an industrial designer, he creates objects for companies to sell. But he does it from his own, rigorously disciplined point of view, one he calls “fat-free design.”

Take the time to listen to Lovegrove explain it here and you’ll discover that he articulates the power of organic design eloquently. Credits it as essential to modern creativity: Natural forces take away what they don’t need and deliver maximum beauty.

His life and vision are filled with natural and organic forms (sea shells and elephant skulls). They inform his work all the time. Look again at Liquid Al Bench. It’s more than a cheap seat. It’s a giant dinosaur bone as art. He reveals his growing interest in “single-surface structures and how they flow” in the video I linked above, from February 2005. I am just seeing the real thing now, here in Houston, three years later.

Where this post comes full circle is Lovegrove’s design for the terrific new PET bottle for Ty Nant Spring Water Ltd.

We’re back in brand-land: A water company engaging a world-class designer to create an “impossible to produce” bottle that, in Lovegrove’s words, seems to be utterly insubstantial until you fill it with water. Only then does the bottle itself take on a variety of art forms, depending on the level of the liquid in the container. He’s “put a skin” on water. His design and the production of the bottles is part of the Ty Nant brand story.

It is past proving that great industrial design is critical to great branding, especially on the product side of our business. Lovegrove’s water bottle is a case in point – one you can hold in your hand. More difficult is bringing the concept of design into intangibles (like natural gas) or services (like geoseismic interpretation). But it can be done if you work at it…and great examples are all around us.

What if we asked Lovegrove to design your next website? Besides one hell of an invoice, what do you think he’d deliver?

“Liquid Al Bench” photo from Barbara Davis Gallery with thanks. PET bottle photo from Ty Nant.

Functional Beveraging?

In case you’ve been MIA the last few years, functional beverages (often called “neutraceuticals”) are drinks fortified with dietary supplements and herbal medicines. I last wrote about the category in “Tunguska Blast,” a September post.

This multi-billion dollar industry isn’t slowing down. As a branded category, it generates an immense amount of brand work and a lot of attention.

The category as a whole is “swarming with hype.” So I picked one at random, Celsius. An ad for the product appears above.

According to its write-up on Red Chip.com, this drink: is widely credited by experts and the media with having created a completely new category of functional foods that burn calories without sacrificing taste. Celsius is designed to be a great replacement beverage for people who want to enjoy the taste of a soda and crave the energy of an energy drink or coffee but, don’t want the calories and chemicals that are found in many of these beverages.

Though the company continues to announce distribution agreements, its current stock price is about 11¢, down from a 52-week high of $3.67 – so perhaps Celsius is not performing at its peak.

Functional beverages existed when I was growing up. My first one was Milk, Homogenized, Mark 1. The implied brand promise was, “Grow up tall.” I suppose it worked because I’m six-and-a-half feet tall still. I then migrated quickly to coffee (heavily laced with the aforementioned milk), thereby gaining early experience with caffeine. My daddy tried to introduce me to beer – a functional beverage with centuries of performance data behind it – but it took a long time for me to get with that program.

I also cheerfully confess to being a long-time fan of Gatorade® sports drink – hundreds of miles of cycling proved its value to me.

So I don’t intend to pick on Celsius particularly. It’s one example of the creative branding that’s going on in this category. But nothing drives a brand out of business faster than empty promises. Drinks that offer higher forms of enlightenment or better bedroom performance should be taken with a grain of salt. Admire the brand story and the packaging all you like. Then check out the claims for yourself.

Sheetrock® Recognition

Home ownership resonates as deeply today as it did a century ago. Even in a digital age, brick and mortar (or plywood and Sheetrock) are what stabilize us and make us feel at home.

How is it that an 80-year-old economist like Alan Greenspan consciously realizes that a word he’s using on page 230 of his new book is a trademark? And thousands of other Americans don’t have clue that he’s writing about a 96-year-old staple of the US marketing scene? With just an initial capital letter “S” the long-time Fed Chairman simply recognized the trademarked status of USG’s gypsum wallboard in the paragraph above…and passed on to other things.

Too many trademarks are lost through inattention – but USG (formerly, the United States Gypsum Company) has very carefully protected its flagship brands, like Sheetrock panels and joint compounds, for years and years of careful attention. How many years?

Blogger Greg notes here that Sheetrock was invented in 1912: At least that’s the earliest patent date I have on the sheetrock that was used in my house in the late teens or 20s. When they added the bathroom to the kitchen they used sheetrock. On the back of each piece was a sticker with instructions for storing and hanging the sheetrock. At the bottom are a series of patent dates and the earliest one is June 11, 1912. The photo on the left is from Greg’s blog. (Wikipedia says 1916 – so be careful of your sources.)

Sheetrock brand gypsum board didn’t catch on broadly until after World War II, when the demand for housing boomed and labor wasn’t available to do complex lath-and-plaster walls quickly enough. It has been almost literally a foundation product of the American housing industry for the past 50+ years.

As I said, though, my attention was caught by Greenspan’s proper use of the brand name right in the middle of his new opus, The Age of Turbulence. When you read the book, you’ll understand why. He spent his early years as an economist closely studying and reporting on a huge range of industrial statistics – as a consultant for giant US corporations. He’s not simply one of the world’s great economic experts, he’s a living compendium of American industrial history. So he knows his Sheetrock – and it ends up as a proper noun in his book. Good on you, Greenspan.

Noguchi Christmas

Isamu Noguchi produced this “iconic” coffee table in 1944, the year before I was born. I first saw one in 1966 or so, in the home of Bob and Edith Fusillo, in Atlanta – about the same time I was learning other really important stuff like “the Goon Show” and who Barbara Hepworth was.

This table has been written about so much (here, for example), it’s like Googling Shakespeare. It has been on my mind, in my mind, for more than 40 years.

Because the table is still being manufactured by Herman Miller, Inc., in Zeeland, MI – and because I saw one on the showroom floor at Design Within Reach here in Houston – I received it for Christmas.

Thank you, Bob and Edith, for the teaching. Thank you, Barbara, for the gifting.

“Tide” Demo

Stuck for a product demonstration? Tune into YouTube and watch the “Tide” stop-motion TV spot. Already the winner of a bronze medal at Cannes and much caressed by aficionados (here, for example) of fine advertising, it’s a wonderful concept, beautifully executed.

Here’s a spoiler on the off-chance you haven’t seen it: The spot is for a storage company: The Big Yellow Self Storage Company is a UK chain with about 50 locations so far. Being able to reserve a storage space on line is a very nice touch, because one of the firm’s shining characteristics is a strong focus on customer relationship management. (This had been a slow-growth area for far too many companies outside the US – it seems to be paying off for Big Yellow.)

“Tide” was created by London agency CHI & Partners in Rathbone Street, London; and directed by Dougal Wilson, already well recognized for his music videos. He said in an interview that he grew up as part of “a quite practical and technical family;” it shows up in this TV commercial. Drew Lightfoot was the animation director. The stop-motion videography appears so simple in concept, but it’s built up with incredible detail.

Best of all, you can see a three-and-a-half-minute “making of” video here. It shows the waves of dinner services; household appliances and tools; and – eventually – large-scale furniture. As one of the property masters comments, it’s the largest shopping trip he’s ever done!

The point of this post (unlike many another comment about “Tide” going around the Web) is that this commercial is a product demo, with a wise look at our culture built into it. If you’ve ever believed that the last one with all the toys when he dies, wins, then this spot will resonate: What do you do with all the toys once you’ve got ‘em?

Many companies do product demos: Cars, appliances, consumer electronics, offshore oil rigs, you name it. The trick is to create a difference in the minds of your viewers. “Tide” succeeds in this very well. I’d like the chance to make it work for business-to-business clients – especially heavy industry.

Great spot, guys!

Watch This

Already nominated by some as the “cool compass watch,” you could have checked out the Tissot T-Touch (Reference: T33.7.8.92) in print ads featuring MotoGP World Champ Nicky Hayden.

It’s more than a titanium watch with a black carbon face, according to Tissot – not news – but it does have this analog compass feature, which Hayden points to in print and on the Tissot website, in an LED screen.

It took me back, I tell you. When I was stationed at Cecil Field Naval Air Station in Jacksonville, FL, back in the day, I used to hang with a group of guys, among whom was “Dave.”

Dave was cool when I didn’t know what cool was, or a geek of the first water prior to the arrival of “geek.” The rest of us wore wrist watches but Dave wore an olive-drab plastic wrist compass. It became not unusual (indeed, common) for us, upon exiting one of many bars in Jax, to ask him, “What direction is it, Dave?” He’d peer down at his Compass, Wrist, Liquid-Filled, made of Bakelite, and tell us. Most of these were made by the Superior Magneto Corporation of Long Island City, NY.

You could pick up your own OD wrist compass in any Army surplus store, but Dave had his from his World War paratroop daddy. I can tell you, though, that there were no full-page ads in Wired featuring rockers and motor sports stars.

Today, Swiss watch manufacturers advertise in both old- and new-fashioned ways: in print or out-of-home media with beautiful photos of their time pieces plus various movie stars; and carry them over to their up-to-the-minute websites.

If you haven’t looked into the Breitling website, take a quick, visual peek: It’s cutting-edge and fun, especially if you like go-fast airplanes. Omega, Tag Heuer, the Armitron Automatic – it’s hard to keep ‘em straight, even if you remember which movie star is flacking which timepiece. Which one is cooler than the others? Hard to say, though some brands do go on: Rolex for one; and Patek Philippe for another, currently running a very nice ad campaign called “Generations,” which you can see here under its Communications button.

So back to Hayden and the Tissot T-Touch in titanium – with compass. If you’re tempted, you can shop on line; on awatches.com it’s $795 plus shipping. Or $596 on Amazon. The Breitling Navitimer Heritage, on the other hand, tips the scale at $20k. Coolness costs.

But remembering when we asked Dave what direction it was? That’s priceless.

Nepal Publicity?

It’s been all over the Internet already – but I couldn’t resist (since I just ran across this).

As reported by Reuters here, officials at Nepal Airlines sacrificed a pair of goats to help solve a technical problem with one of its Boeing 757-200 aircraft. (The national flag carrier has two of these.) “The snag in the plane has now been fixed and the aircraft has resumed its flights,” according to an airline official quoted by Reuters. No one has revealed the nature of the technical problem.

It’s important to note that Nepal Airlines was propitiating Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, by sacrificing the goats. Because it has been so widely reported as a news oddity, why am I bringing this up now, four months after it was originally reported?

I haven’t seen that the goat sacrifice has had much of an impact on the brand itself. (Well, aside from the reaction from PETA.) On the other hand, it isn’t what you’d call a major brand – not with just two B-757s and seven DeHavilland Twin Otters.

Still, it’s a 50-year-old brand. It deserves some respect. If I had any connection with Nepal whatsoever, I’d pitch in. Why? Because there’s an opportunity to create a cross-cultural experience that has been ignored by the bloggers and the news bureaus.

Think of this, then, as a PR test case. Perhaps the Nepal Airlines people felt that this kind of religious practice is so common that it didn’t deserve notice. But the story’s obviously made its way around the world – and has had a modest but still negative impact on the airline’s reputation.

What would a good PR practitioner do? What would you do (instead of making fun of the Nepalese) to help build the brand with this goat story? Any answers from public relations professionals would be welcome – because, as the airline’s slogan says, “there is no place on this Earth like Nepal” and it deserves a fair shake.

Green(er) Cup

If, with three sentences on a slip of paper, I could help you turn your company just a little “greener,” would you be interested?

You can do it if you make insulated travel tumblers available to your employees and customers as one of your corporate ad specialties. The one in the photo above is a stainless steel model…but after all these years, there are literally hundreds of styles, all built on the same general principles: a hand-sized container with [a] double-wall vacuum insulation and [b] a firm-fitting, non-spill top or lid with [c] a slide opening.

Here are my three sentences (and see four spiffier options below):

Use this insulated mug next time you visit your favorite coffee shop or convenience store, instead of taking your beverage out in a disposal cup. And keep using it again and again: You could save your local landfill – and the environment – a lot of waste. Thanks from the green-thinkers at XYZ Company.

Think of this as the ad-specialty version of repurposing content if you like. Truth is, our environment could use a little help on the to-go cup front. Writing in the November 2007 issue of Fresh Cup, Lois Maffeo makes a couple of telling points.

First, the standard paper-and-plastic go cup is a key part of the retail coffee biz. You know it – everybody knows it. You only have to look around at how many people are carrying Starbucks go cups into meetings…and just about everywhere else.

Second, the “average American office worker’s annual consumption of 500 beverages in disposal cups” means that trash baskets, garbage trucks and landfills are overwhelmed with the things. These are objects made of paper or plastic (or both) that are put to use for an estimated 20-30 minutes. Maffeo says that the conventional go cup is one of America’s quickest paths to the waste stream: buy it, use it, throw it away. In half an hour tops.

One answer that’s being stirred (not shaken) by the cup industry…uh, the paper product manufacturers…is creating go cups with renewable resources, or post-consumer recycled content. And this is a good one, even if it means that retailers who offer compostable cups will pay two or three cents more per cup than for a paper cup. We’ll end up paying for that, but it’s worth it for the benefit.

The better, greener answer is the insulated travel cup or tumbler – the one that you’re likely already making available to customers and prospects. (And no, I am not being paid by the Advertising Specialty Institute for this post…no promotional fees for me, thank you. Although I am open to discuss…)

No one but you and I will know if you start putting a bit of paper inside each of your company’s promotional tumblers; and add a little extra environmental messaging to your corporate brand platform.

I asked some of my colleagues if they could make my own sentences sharper or wittier. They did. With thanks to each, here are their suggestions.

1. “I cut the word count by 37% but don’t think it’s any more provocative,” Graham Rust of Rust2 in Prague said. His option:

Use this insulated mug every time you visit your favorite coffee shop or convenience store (instead of taking yet another disposable cup) and you’ll cut local landfill, and help our environment. Thanks, from the green-thinkers at XYZ Company.

2. A different take from long-time Houston copywriter Bill Holicek goes like this:

Call me Max the Mug! Use me again and again at your coffee shop and carryout. You save our trees and landfills. And show eco-friendly clout.

3. From “New Jersey Jack” Goldenberg on the East Coast:

Adding waste to the environment? Stop! Littering Earth with disposable coffee cups? Stop! Start using this insulated mug ever time you drink a cup of Joe! From the Green Thinkers at XYZ Company.

4. The principal of Simply Communicate, Jamie Roark, sent this one:

Enjoy this insulated mug instead of a disposable cup each time you visit your favorite coffee spot. Know that every time you sip, the environment sighs. Thanks from the green-thinkers at XYZ Company.

However you say it, you can help save the planet – one cup of coffee at a time.

I owe the idea of this post to Bobbie Ireland and Fran LaGrone at Wood Group (who sent me the photo); and Maggie Seeliger at KBR. All of them, at various times, have given me one or more insulated travel tumblers with their corporate logos on them. I use these tumblers a lot…just the way I describe in this post. And thanks to everyone for participating.

Triscuit® Romance

A new print ad for Triscuit ‘Rosemary & Olive Oil’ crackers caught my attention and amusement – it’s hard to make out the headline in this scan, so I’ll quote it for you to read:

Jessica opened her box of Rosemary & Olive Oil Triscuit crackers. The aroma instantly transported her to the countryside. One bite, and she’d finally found the complexity and flavor she craved, a combination sadly missing from the pretty boy in the ascot.

This is classy and sassy – just the thing for a brand that’s under reconstruction – and beautifully targeted to its audience. You’d hardly think this cracker is more than 100 years old. You can read even more about the cracker itself here.

But the story is never so simple as that. When you Google “Triscuit,” you’ll discover that in the past year, the brand has been at the center of some remarkable upsets in the ad biz, as well as the subject of dozens of blog posts (like here and here).

Writing in The New York Times last April, Stuart Elliott broke the story that Kraft Foods was unhappy with its biggest ad agency, JWT, and showed its displeasure by shifting six brands (worth $160+ millions) to other agencies. That’s put the hurt on JWT big-time.

It looks like the Triscuit business, worth about $12.8 millions, ended up at Euro RSCG in New York, along with the Ritz cracker assignment ($32.1 millions).

Some dissatisfaction has been expressed about Kraft North America’s customer service. Freshbooks’ blogger also noted, “Nabisco has not domain-proofed their brand by buying Triscuits.com.” This was back in April; now you can, in fact, type in Triscuit.com and go right to a micro-site for the brand.

Meanwhile, new Triscuit flavors have been very popular with consumers, with lots of positive comments (e.g., mezediet.com).

Back to the ad itself, which bears a 2008 copyright. I’d led by this to conclude that the ad is from Euro RSCG and my hat’s off to the creative team. Yes, I know it’s quite popular to slam guys – but for the women in the audience, this execution is laugh-worthy.

I also compliment the team on the human touches which put this ad “in contact” with the audience: a lovely woman but no stick figure, a certain dreamy quality to the execution, reinforced by the tagline, “A tasty romance awaits.”

I expect I’ll be old(er) and gray(er) before I see this kind of advertising for, say, oilfield technology. Try as I might, I can’t ever see any E&P company going with a headline like:

Ray-Bob opened the carton with his new CX-370A drill bit inside. The fresh oil covering the layers of its diamond cutters instantly recalled his glory days on the rig floor – he knew he’d finally found the penetration and the sheer power missing from his life since Norma’d left him for that landman in Lafayette.

Ah, well. There’s always the Triscuits.

Gifts: Armaments

The newspapers are filled with ads for very expensive watches (if you’re a guy) and the latest celebrity brand perfumes (if you’re a gal). The airwaves offer big-screen TVs and iPods.

‘Tis the Season to be buying. If you’re buying big, Neiman Marcus offers its 100th Anniversary Fantasy Gift: An Imperial Lilies of the Valley Fabergé Egg for $3,525 (including shipping).

But what to do if you are confronted on Christmas Day by a Rabbit with Big Pointy Teeth? (This is what comes of watching “Monty Python & The Holy Grail,” a seasonal favorite.)

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch is available for only $17.95 – an important reminder that comes to us from geek blogs. This plush version comes with critical instructions:

First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shalt be three. Four thou shalt not count, nor either count though two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest though thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch toward thou foe, who being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

This is the stuff of legends, friend, even though this model “does not really light up or explode.” Well.

Go up-market if you like to the 50-caliber Barrett M82A1 sniper rifle for something over $8,000 – it puts the Fabergé egg in the shade and offers “unmatched respect.” I kinda like that. This is NOT something you’re likely to see advertised in a pre-Christmas Valassis insert. Think of it as a 30-pound stalking stuffer.

Quite a bit more stress-y on the Visa card, The Joint Air-to-Surface Standoff Missile (JASSM) may or may not be available in time for Christmas; it depends on the success of its testing program. Lockheed Martin promises superior performance and affordable price – plus videos if you visit the company’s on-line shopping site.

Me? I’ll settle for the Holy Hand Grenade. Just the thing for a Big-Pointy-Teeth-Rabbit-free holiday season.

Joyful Year

Thanks to you, I had a ball this year. What Charles Dickens wrote in “A Christmas Carol” is as true for me as he’d have it for the story’s main character:

…He was wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill of laughter at the outset; and knowing that such as these would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they should wrinkle up their eyes in grins…and that was quite enough for him.

A year’s worth of joy should not be saved up ‘til Christmas. Fortunately, some of you have kept up with news and adventures in my business, my family, my life. So it’s likely that you’ve seen your names a time or two (or more) throughout the past 12 months and received my gratitude along with it.

It’s time to say “Thank you,” plus sincere greetings for a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year – and everything else you celebrate during this month.

Because you’ve been part of it, you have contributed so much to me and my family. You are my colleagues, my partners, my friends. I am grateful for the work, the relationships, the collegial enjoyment of many hours spent with you.

You are the ornaments of my life. Best wishes for a world full of joy this season and for the year ahead.

Thanks and special wishes to Prism Design for this year’s illustration.

Risotto Report

Our on-the-scene reporter, Rachel Baron, sends: Here are a couple of photos from the contest. Alison looks super cute…I am excited to see the blog. Thanks for being so supportive. By the way, Alison did receive two tickets to “Les Misérables” and a $50 gift certificate to Quick Chek. And has big plans about how to win next year.

No word on the recipe. Same with after-action PR from Quick Chek. “Maybe tomorrow…”

Souper Chef

The promotions that occur out of sight – in different regions of the country or other parts of the world – sometimes come into view thanks to relatives. This morning, Alison Bond (friend of Rachel Baron) is participating in the Quick Chek “Souper Chef” finals at the company’s South Plainfield, NJ store.

Quick Chek is a family-owned and -operated chain of 110 retail food store locations that operates mainly in the northern part of the state. Founder Carlton C Durling started it in the 1960s as an outlet for the milk from his dairy business.

That’s one way to begin a convenience-store operation – especially since Quick Chek didn’t start putting in “fueling islands” (that’s gasoline pumps to you) ‘til 2000. In 2006, the overall growth of the C-store industry was 15%. But that same year showed a 23.5% drop in profits, because of shrinking margins on gasoline and higher credit card costs (also associated with gas sales). So [a] Quick Chek’s slow movement toward adding pumps is probably a good thing for its profitability; and [b] its concentration on fresh food is critical to maintaining strong customer relationships.

Unlike the Stripes chain I blogged about in September, Quick Chek promotions seem to be more tightly tied to its products. The winter promotion is based on its fresh soups. It’s been well-advertised in the North Jersey, but there’s nothing about it on the company website. I’d say Quick Chek missed a bet, but not by much given the participation reported by our own team: Alison (chef) and Rachel (supporter).

In her “Food for Thought” blog, Angela Wyatt already noted: If you think you have a soup recipe that’s worth prizes valued up to $750, share it with Quick Chek. Starting today through Dec. 5, Quick Chek customers will have the chance to put their culinary skills to the test by submitting an original recipe that incorporates one of Quick Chek’s 14 fall menu soups as an ingredient to the company's first ever Quick Chek Souper Chef Cooking Contest.

Unfortunately, I have to report that Alison’s recipe, using the chain’s Roasted Tomato & Garlic soup as a basis for a risotto, did not bear away the bell. As a runner-up, Alison received a $50 Quick Chek gift certificate.

But she got chosen as a semi-finalist (out of 65 entrants in the month-long promo period) and had the chance to prepare her “Roasted Tomato and Spinach Risotto” to compete against four other contestants and their recipes on site. The event was previewed in today’s Bridgewater, NJ, Courier-News.

A soup-powered promo for a C-store makes a nice change from the ordinary gas and credit card activities. Quick Chek’s PR people ought to be able to get some winter-time mileage out of this

I also hope Alison will share her recipe with Signalwriter’s readers. More of this anon.

Pearl Morning

“Inside one hangar twenty-one Hawaiians were fighting fire. Planes roared hoarsely, machine guns stuttered overhead. In the middle of the smoke-filled hangar, Solomon Naauao, 245-pound athlete, trained the water from his fire-hose on the fuselage of a four-motor flying fortress, pushing back the gasoline fire that leaped out from the fuselage onto the wings.

“Solomon is a giant Hawaiian, a true son of a warrior. Short, thick, black hair fits his massive head like a fur cap. He was hoping the Chief would come soon with the foamite. Water was not much good against gasoline.

“One end of the burning hangar fell through to the floor, revealing a sky dotted with three approaching Japanese bombers. They were flying just a few feet above the hangar. The first one passed directly above Solomon and his fellow-fighters. Solomon heard an explosion and felt hot pain.

“‘Lord help me!’ he prayed, falling to the concrete floor. The whole inner side of his right leg was blown away.

“With his arm and sound leg he crawled through the smoke, away from the flames. When two soldiers picked him up, he learned that five others with him had been wounded, three more blown to pieces. They left him in the doorway to wait for the ambulance just coming in. As he lay there, Japanese planes flew slowly above, just clearing the hangar, and strafed the men running to carry him to the ambulance. Others quickly picked him up and sped him to the hospital.”

From Remember Pearl Harbor, copyright 1942 by Blake Clark. Of the Honolulu Fire Department personnel fighting the fires at Hickam Field that Sunday morning, Capt Thomas S Macy, Capt John Carreira and Hoseman Harry Tuck Lee Pang were dead. Lieutenant Frederick Kealoa and Hoseman Moses Kalilikani were critically wounded; and three others – Hoseman John A Gilman, Solomon H Naauao, Jr, and George Corren – were also injured. The wounded firefighters received Purple Hearts. From 7 December 1941: The Air Force Story, pages 160-161. See also today’s California Fire News blog.

Poster designed by Allen Sandburg, issued by the Office of War Information, Washington, D.C., in 1942, in remembrance of the Japanese Attack on Pearl Harbor.

Wobble Tales

After blogging about Wobble Wedges®, I had the chance to talk with their creator, Robert Bellows. Here’s such a marvelous story about small-business triumph, I asked him if he’d write about it. He agreed to do it in the form of lengthy answers to six questions.

It’s a long read; I haven’t edited it much. Bellows said, “I had a great time looking back at the magical evolution of the Wobble Wedge.” See if you agree.

1. What made you decide that you wanted to become an entrepreneur?

I never decided to become an entrepreneur in the start-a-business-and-sell-it-for-millions mold. Perhaps I’m an entrepreneur in the sense that my work choices have been consistently driven by a deep desire to explore the realms of my own creativity while maintaining independence, the most precious resource of all.

The trick, of course, was getting paid in the process. If the business earned millions or if it earned just enough cash or somewhere in between that would be fine. Following that path by both intent and accident I have been a school teacher, carpenter, ranch hand, welder, tutor, artist, copywriter, publicist and a marketing/sales director in several businesses.

So how did Wobble Wedge come about? In my early 40s, I lost a business that I had expected to pursue for many more years. The demise of the business came from multiple forces much larger than our small company could counteract. To be frank, I was disillusioned by what came down. Taking a total break from business was the perfect solution. In the following months I began introducing myself to the world as an artist.

Over the next few years I made well over 100 sculptures and sold them through galleries and shows – a good living and a total blast. But the cash flow came in an uncomfortable boom and bust cycle. My business head popped and said, “Hey, why not start a really small business that will provide a steady cash flow but won’t require much daily office work?” That was the seed that sprouted into the Wobble Wedge.

2. How did you decide on the wedge? And what steps led to its engineered qualities?

For as long as I can remember I have always had a scrappy-looking 3-ring binder titled “Ideas.” Every time I had a business or product idea I had a habit of writing it down in the notebook: ideas of who needed the thing, who might buy it, and what it might take to make it and what it would take to distribute it.

Then reality would set in. Do I want to sit at a desk, manage a pile of employees, raise money, be responsible to bankers or shareholders, manage field reps and on and on? The answer was no….already done that. The ideas that required complex marketing and production were fun to dream about. The mere act of writing it down allowed to me let go of the idea so a new one could come in.

The question gradually changed from, “What business could I create that would be successful?” to something more like, “What business will support what I want to do with my time?”

What did I want? Simplicity. The product had to be simple. It had to be easy to understand. It had to be universally needed. It had to be cheap to make and cheap to buy. It had to be well made and very cool. It had to be fun to sell. And most of all, it had to have a “Wow, I wish I had thought of that!” factor.

How could I find that? Simple again. State the question as clearly as possible then forget about it.

One day, sitting at an annoying wobbly restaurant table, my wife (Terry Cohen) asked the magical question: “Think you could figure out how to fix this?” Whoa, that ain’t rocket science, it’s not even high school algebra.

All it takes is a small wedge. It could be used for all sorts of things...wait, that’s it: this is what we need to invent.

The first wedges were hand carved from a plastic block and from scraps of wood. I used my funky models for everything I could think of from stabilizing wobbly tables to leveling fountain sculptures.

Experimenting with them made it obvious that each wedge had to relate to the other...they had to nest to prevent slippage. They had to be stackable to fill large gaps. They had to be easy to trim. They had to be easy to retrieve even if they were inserted too far.

I showed my hand-carved wedges to an 80-year-old tool maker that had been making injection molds for years. With my samples in hand and a few pencil sketches he began machining some very precise samples. A few models later we had a perfectly simple but very functional design.

3. Would you expand on the (years’ long) marketing efforts you put into the product?

In the original vision, the product had to be “universally understood.” To be honest I didn’t know the full meaning of those words at the time. But their meaning is clear now. If anyone sees a Wobble Wedge, it takes only a fraction of a second for them to say, “I know where I could use one of these.”

We create literature, but really Wobble Wedges don’t need explanation. As such we didn’t have to go to the hefty expense of trying to educate or convince people to buy these.

Instead, we had the less expensive task of just letting them know that at long last here was a solution that they had been looking for all their life: handing a consumer, a contractor or a restaurant owner a couple of Wobble Wedges is in itself a complete marketing message.

Our primary marketing message is that Wobble Wedges are universally needed. That statement generated this line: Everyone needs Wobble Wedges. Now we needed to simply remind consumers of why they need Wobble Wedges. Everyone knows that most things are far from plumb, smooth or level. Everyone knows that almost nothing in the world is truly flat. So, why not just say what they already know. Hence the line: Because the World Still Isn’t Flat.

4. How critical is the “Wobble Wedge” brand name to your marketing efforts?

Wobble Wedge is a fantastic named coined by my brother Warren. The beauty of the name is again its simplicity. It describes the problem and the solution in one very memorable name. But even more than that, the name allows for universal application. It is not limiting in any way.

A contractor can relate to a Wobble Wedge as quickly as a waiter can. If we had called the product a Stable Table, for example, we would only appeal to restaurants. Contractors would have nothing to do with it.

So yes, Wobble Wedge is and excellent name, but not absolutely critical to the success of the product. We sell Wobble Wedges under many names targeted to many very specific markets. Our brand name is well known, but the quality, superior functionality, and readily available inventory of our Wobble Wedges is what keeps us in the game.

While we stimulated many PR stories for Wobble Wedges in the early years, the product itself stimulates its own story now. You see one, hit yourself on the forehead and say, “Why didn’t I think of that?” Then someone like you writes a blog about it. That is the magic of Wobble Wedge.

5. The Wobble Wedge solves for a specific kind of problem. But Focus 12 itself doesn’t seem to have a problem now. If, after 20 years, you were asked what problem the company itself faces, what would that problem be?

Our Mom & Pop business is doing great. It is small and simple as we created it to be. It has provided very well for us. At this moment, we it looks like we’re going into a very exciting period of growth. That growth is already bringing in a level of complexity in our business that is taxing our small staff….that’s just Terry and I.

We have new products and new molds and new customers that will drive a whole new part of our business. But the coming complexity challenges our core mandate of simplicity. Both of us are getting older. As much as we love our business, we’re beginning to think of other things we’d like to do. Maybe a bigger business isn’t what we want. Maybe it is.

We’re still working on that question. Perhaps writing this response to your questions will stimulate that process. It is always amazing to me how we touch each other’s lives.

6. Last question: do you read Mother Earth News?

Yes, I was sort of an idealist. Perhaps that has eroded with time. It’s funny that you mention it. I haven’t seen that mag in years. Last month my wife brought one home to show me an article on gardening. Gardening sounds good to me these days. There is nothing like dirt under your fingernails and a freshly picked tomato to remind you of what is real.

Good storytellers are few and far between. Thanks to Robert Bellows for sharing this one. And for the fun of it, get your hands on a Wobble Wedge.

Hanukkah Truckin’

I was set to blog best wishes for Hanukkah – simple, straightforward, sincere. But I ran across the Disney “Fire Truck Menorah” in one of Barbara’s catalogs and it threw me off track. The bizarre idea that Mickey Mouse may be Jewish after all, circumsized at birth in 1928, has taken on a life of its own. At 79, I’d say he’s a little old to be driving around on a hook-and-ladder but maybe not. It’s said that 70’s the new 50, etc. And he’s got the other alte kochers with him: Minnie, Goofy. Donald. Even Pluto.

This is the first night of Hanukkah, during which we celebrate a successful rebellion. (Another curious fact, in this day and time.) A small, outnumbered band of Jews waged battle against the armies of the Seleucid Greeks, and drove them out of the Land of Israel.

When the Jews reclaimed the Temple in Jerusalem, they wanted to re-light the Temple’s menorah, but the priests discovered that the Greeks had contaminated almost all the oil. There was just enough pure oil to last one night – and it would take eight days to produce new, pure oil.

Miraculously, the one-day supply of oil lasted eight days and nights. The holiday of Hanukkah was established. So we commemorate and publicize this miracle by lighting our own menorahs on each of the eight nights of Hanukkah – adding another candle every evening.

On the other hand, what if one of the younger Jewish insurgents came running into the Temple back in 166 BC, crying out to the Levites, “Wait! I just got this FedEx from Mama in Brooklyn!”

In one hand, he’s waving this Disney fire truck menorah; in the other is a box of Hanukkah candles from the Discount Candle Shop. “We can use these until the oil is ready.” History could have been changed at that very moment – the miracle would have been getting anything FedEx’d to Israel in time for Hanukkah. That’d be truckin’.

Tonight’s the beginning, whatever menorah you use. I wish you all hag orim same'ah. Happy Feast of Lights! Happy Hanukkah!

Wobble Wedges®

If one of us in the “Thursday Night Martini Gang” has jammed a book of matches or a wad of napkins under our cast-iron table at Mo Mong once these past 10 years, we’ve done it a hundred times. With the passing of matchbooks, leveling an awkward table became more of an annoyance.

Shift scene: a pub in the Brookhaven section of Atlanta, where four of us had just sat down for a couple of pints and burgers…a pleasant patio lunch on a beautiful day. And the table wobbled. Teeter. Totter. Teeter. Totter. While I was looking around for a napkin to wad up, the ever-resourceful Edith Fusillo reached into her purse and pulled out a small white plastic shim. She lifted the table slightly and shoved this thing under the leg. No more teeter-totter.

“It’s a Wobble Wedge,” she proclaimed and she and Bob beamed at us. “Every table in Venice wobbles. I found these at The Container Store and we always carry them with us.”

Sheesh! Of the hundred or thousands of useless knickknacks and gadgets in the various catalogs of the world, here are these Wobble Wedges – complete with registered trademark. So the first thing we do is go off to the nearby Container Store and pick up a couple of packages. Barbara stashed hers in various compartments of her purse. I stowed mine in…well…my man-bag. Map case. Alright, dammit, my purse.

This is word-of-mouth marketing in action. Only after I got back here to the home computer have I gone to the website; you can read all about Wobble Wedges, “the tapered plastic shims that do it all.” You should look at this site: simple, homegrown, but with all the information you’d need to realize why this is one of the world’s great inventions.

And it’s only a million or so years old. Stone Age (though I’m told that the Association of Social Anthropologists is not happy with this term). After all, the reason we’ve used matchbooks to level the damn table is because they’re wedge-shaped.

Our modern, purse-carried Wobble Wedges are made of polypropylene, tapered at a 5.75° angle with some extra features like nesting ridge teeth that make it adjustable – and so awfully handy. The Wobble Wedge is patented and manufactured by Focus 12, Inc.; conveniently packaged; it even comes with a small hole so you can tie a string to it. “Everyone needs Wobble Wedges ‘cause the world isn’t flat.” Nice line.

The only problem: you tend to forget about the Wobble Wedge when you leave the restaurant. Edith says she and Bob left dozens of them in restaurants all over Venice (the paving and flooring are so out of true, you see). Still, they’re cheap enough, three bucks per six-pack. You can get ‘em in jars of 300 in case you’re truly into leveling.

So this today’s WOM contribution: Wobble Wedges. Pass it on.

Door Prize

Ye don’t think we’d have a St. Andrew’s Day Party without an appropriate door prize, do ye? When you drop by the Stag’s Head Pub this Friday, you can register for our “Pairty Giveout,” a 10-year-old Black Bottle Scotch Whisky.

It wouldn’t hurt if you took a quick, visual peek at the brand’s neat, interactive website. You can even pull down a menu or two and take a look at some of Black Bottle’s advertising, though it’s a bit hard to read with its bitty type and all.

Fact is, Scotch whisky’s one of the Worldwide Web’s favorite subjects. Do a bit of Googling and find out more about Black Bottle than I could fit in half-a-dozen blog posts.

I’m going to make it easy on myself. Spirits writer Michael Lonsford jotted a column in The Houston Chronicle a couple of weeks back. The highlights:

It’s black and green, and it had a red-letter renaissance. It’s a blended Scotch whisky called Black Bottle, and its history is fascinating. Most scotch drinkers start off with the classic, popular blends — Johnny Walker Red, Dewar’s, J&B.

I did, too, later segueing to the single-malts and finally the shores of Islay, the island off the western coast of Scotland famous for its heavily peated whiskies.

If Scotch whisky aficionados fall into two camps — single-malts and blends – Black Bottle might appeal to both sides.

Where did the name come from? In the mid-1800s, the three Graham brothers of Aberdeen launched the label, a blended whisky sold in a pot-still-shaped bottle made of black glass from Germany. When England and Germany fought in World War I, the glass became unavailable. So the Grahams switched to green, which is still used.

Black Bottle is a blended whisky, but with unique Islay attributes. It makes you think of the heather shivering in the North Sea wind and wisps of smoke lifting out of Islay village chimneys.

Poetic enough (shivering North Sea wind and all) for me to steal for this post. But it’ll give you an idea of what the whisky is all about…should you happen to carry off the 10-year-old prize Friday evening. You might get away without giving everyone else a wee dram before you go.

You should thank my colleague, Rob Schoenbeck (good Scot that he is) for anointing this brand as the door prize.

Corrigan Christmas

My God, it’s good to be back in Texas.

The past week was uproarious. Glorious. If there’s anything better than being invited to the 80th birthday of one of your oldest friends (Bob Fusillo), it’s having a groaning-board Thanksgiving with him and his family the following day. Edith Fusillo kept feeding us, feeding us. Dylan Fusillo and Janis Shen came in from New York City. I got to spend more time with him and his brother, Neil Fusillo, than at any time in the past…decade? Two decades? More?

Atlanta itself was all about shopping. Every news medium was filled with stories about “Black Friday” and “Super Saturday.” Shoppers local and national lining up at Best Buy (e.g., which is also advertising a “Cyber Monday” in the event shoppers missed their opportunities over the previous weekend) the night before stores opened, wanting to be the first in line for flat-screen TV sets and other gadgets.

Number Two story on the national TV news programs was about all the Made-in-America toys people could buy. No fears of heavy-lead paint if you buy American instead of Chinese. This is particularly piquant since Barbara finally tracked down a pair of size-15 flip-flops that was waiting for us on our front porch when we arrived home last evening. Made in China, natch: a potential new meaning for the term “leadfoot,” I suppose.

Widely remarked upon by Talking Heads – and much in evidence in stores and lots all over Atlanta – is the deceitful attempt to avoid calling those seasonal, decorated evergreens Americans enjoy buying by any other name than Christmas Trees.

It seems to have started with the Lowe’s Holiday Catalog, in which the big-box chain cravenly referred to these items as Family Trees.

In an effort to avoid the use of the term “Christmas tree,” Lowe's has renamed their Christmas trees and are now calling them “Family trees.”

In their Holiday 2007 catalog, containing 56 pages of Christmas gifts, Lowe’s advertises hundreds of gift items, including scores of “Family trees.” In fact, the word “Christmas” only appears two times in the entire holiday catalog. The ads mentioning “Christmas” cover only 12 square inches of the 5236 square inches available.

I saw signs advertising Holiday Trees, Seasonal Trees and – on one corner of the Perimeter Shopping Mall – a lot with a huge banner announcing the sale of Tradition Trees. (I’m pleased to report the apparent absence of marketing for the Hanukkah Bush, though some are available for Jewish shoppers on the Worldwide Web.)

Yesterday, we battled our way west across Interstate 20 on the drive back. Rain, more rain. Massive rain. Spot showers. Heavy misting. Plus traffic diverting from I-10 because some of this major highway is closed – see the post below. Leaving the Interstate, crossing the state line on US 79 and switching to US 59 to bring us to Houston was a wonderful relief.

Even better, we drove through the tiny town of Corrigan about 8.30 PM. There’s a lighted signboard in front of the City Hall. It announced:

Christmas Tree Lighting
& Chili Cookoff

God, it’s great to be home.

Blowouts Happen

The road goes ever on and on
Down from the door where it began.

And so Barbara and I expected it to be when we left for Atlanta last Sunday, from Houston.

The rain was a nice surprise. Our unexpected event was the total closure of Interstate 10 from Lafayette to Baton Rouge, LA. A 55 mile-stretch of a major interstate corridor from Houston to New Orleans will remain closed until at least December 4.

Now you know what we know: I-10 will be closed because a fire at a Bridas Energy USA natural gas well erupted last Thursday evening, before we left Houston. Bridas workers were drilling a new well and the pressure blew the line, which then burst into flames. The well is about two miles west of the Ramah/Maringoin exit on the Atchafalaya Basin floodway side – you could see the flames from the causeway.

I missed this important bit of information and so did a few thousand other holiday travelers. It may even have been in last Sunday’s Houston Chronicle, which we didn’t read before we left the house because our copy was soaked from all the rain.

You know the area, right? That long, long causeway across the flood basin, where cellphones don’t work and there’s just one or two places to stop…we’ve been taking this route to and from Atlanta for years.

Without knowing exactly why, we followed the quickly revised Louisiana Highway Department/US DOT alternate. With all the rest of the eastbound unfortunates, we went northward onto Interstate 49 at Lafayette, then east on U.S. 190 at Opelousas, through Livonia, to Baton Rouge.

This part was not an adventure: Livonia, LA, has two traffic lights and Sunday afternoon traffic was backed up for miles while the good folks of the Livonia police department tried to cope with five times the normal traffic.

Backups aside, we really had no other problems. With no loss of life that I can find, though, it’s typical that Louisiana’s governor, Kathleen Blanco, would use words like ”appalling” to describe the incident. The Gov’s hindsighted comments notwithstanding, my hat’s off to Louisiana state and parish officials and DOT for organizing the best possible solution around an awkwardly placed incident.

It’s also given “over the river and through the woods” to the Fusillos for Thanksgiving a completely new meaning. We’ll be taking another highway home to Houston this weekend.

The Advocate photo by Richard Alan Hannon, with thanks.