Joel's Joke

Bubba was bragging to his boss one day, “I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know ‘em.”

Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “Okay, Bubba how about Tom Cruise?”

“Hell, yes, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Bubba and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and sure enough, Tom Cruise shouts, “Bubba! Great to see you! You and your friend come right in and join me for lunch!”

Bubba’s boss is pretty impressed but still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Bubba that he thinks Bubba’s knowing Cruise was just lucky.

“No, no, just name anyone else,” Bubba says. “President Bush,” his boss quickly retorts.“Yep,” Bubba says, “I know him. Let's get ourselves to DC.” And off they go.

At the White House, the President spots Bubba on the tour and motions him and his boss over. “Bubba! What a surprise,” Mr. Bush says. “I was just on my way to a budget meeting, but you and your friend come on inside. Let’s have a cup of coffee first and catch up on the latest news.”

Well, the boss is very shaken by now, but still...not completely convinced. After they leave the White House grounds, he expresses his doubts to Bubba, who again implores him to name anyone else. “The Pope,” his boss replies.

“No problem,” says Bubba. “I've known His Holiness a long time.” So off they fly to Rome. Bubba and his boss are assembled with the masses in St. Peter’s Square when Bubba says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards. So let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.”

And he disappears into the crowd headed toward St. Peter’s Basilica. Half an hour later, Bubba emerges with the Pope on the balcony.

But by the time Bubba returns to the Square, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics. Working his way to his boss’s side, Bubba asks him, “What happened?”

His boss looks up from the ground and says, “I was doing fine until you and the Pope came out on the balcony and the Japanese tourist next to me asked, “Who’s that on the balcony with Bubba?”

Thanks and a tip of the Hatlo Hat to Joel Sabel for this classic – and to this Sunday’s “Crankshaft” cartoon for reminding me about it.