Open Sky

There’s no lack of bidness advice, good and bad, these days. Still, a new White Paper offers 10 chatty but blessedly brief tips to help beat the economy. It’s yours free from Geraint Holliman, a former colleague of mine in Dialogue International and long-time MD of UK ad agency Open Sky.

The short pepper-upper is a fine antidote against our current days of doom and gloom. My favorite:

Stop listening to the news. Of course we must always be aware of the global economic conditions but the media thrive on headlines and, currently, bad news is good news for the media. Bad news begets bad news: it’s a vicious circle. However, none of your businesses have gone bad overnight have they? They didn’t become bad value or inappropriate value propositions just because a few banks got greedy did they? Have confidence in your brand and what it delivers. So, only turn the news on 10 minutes into bulletins so you can avoid all the doom and gloom and go straight to the ‘puppy rescued from well’ story – you’ll feel better for it.

Trish Cunningham, Manager of Business Development at Brookwoods Group here in Houston, spoke to the same issue this week on LinkedIn: This brings to mind a great quote: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” FDR - this still rings true today and quite frankly I believe people have had enough fear tactics to last a few lifetimes.

When things are closing in around you, it doesn’t hurt to have some…guidelines…to post by the computer. Try Open Sky’s White Paper on for size.

Hershey’s® Placement

Did you mark the appearance of a Hershey’s chocolate bar in this morning’s Hi and Lois® comic panels? When America’s largest – and most iconic – manufacturer of chocolate bars shows up in a comic strip, artist Chance Browne makes it charmingly ordinary. (The cartoon is 55 years old after all.)

It drew my attention to the Hershey’s® stock price. It’s playing today at about $33.45, having performed quite a bit better over the past 12 months than most oilfield service company stocks. The chocolate company’s much more stable. As a symbol of hope and normalcy, of Hiram Flagston and his job at Foofram Industries, maybe the Hershey’s bar is unintentionally…perfect.

© 2009, King Features Syndicate, Inc.

Bankers’ Joke

Three bankers and three engineers are traveling by train to Washington to testify before Congress (different committees). At the station, the three bankers each buy a ticket, then watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket.

“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the bankers. “Watch and you’ll see,” answered an engineer.

They all board the train. The bankers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train leaves the station, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Tickets, please!” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The bankers see this and agree it is a clever idea. So after the hearings, the bankers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one puzzled banker. “Watch and you’ll see.” answered an engineer.

They board the train and all three bankers jam into a restroom. The three engineers? They cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the bankers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Tickets, please!”

Or is this an engineers’ joke? Either way, it came across the Internet. Maybe it explains why I do more work for engineering firms than banks.

Chairman Meow! Combines Quirky Attraction, Chinese Propaganda Artform.

Last September, I was struck by an image that I stumbled over by accident: Chairman Meow, “Great Leader.” Among other visualizations, it’s the invention of designer Kevin McCormick. Since I’m a fan of Soviet-era art and design it is quirkily attractive. Not to mention, the Chairman has an immense range of friends, from Whippets of Mass Destruction (dogs) to Lolruses (marine mammals)…all available on ObeythePureBreed.com.

This is McCormick’s site on Cafepress.com and I thought it would give me a chance to explore a booming etail operation.

This is all down to the “T-shirt economy,” so called by Clive Thompson of Wired because creative people can turn their ideas into businesses by developing clothing and other decorated apparel. On Cafepress, according to reported figures, all this was worth more than $100 million in 2007, with an average 20% in profit.

I think McCormick’s designs deliver imagination and parody at the same time. He himself says, “I started combining propaganda art with heroic portraits of dogs. The designs also allowed me to make social and political commentary.”

His emails filled in some blanks for me, first about his visuals: The designs do resonate with buyers. People are really passionate about their pets, and they think that their breed is the best. My style isn’t original, but I think the concept is. It flips the idea of obedience in relation to pets, and I think seeing a Chihuahua as a dictator definitely is seen as surprising and amusing.
How is Cafepress working out? As far as marketing, a lot of that is trial and error. I have to sometimes be creative, as selling t-shirts through Cafepress is convenient and great, but not high profit margins. To make advertising worthwhile, I really have to make sure I’m reaching the right niches.
Is Cafepress a viable sales mechanism? One thing that I’ve done lately is a sticker campaign, where I distribute free Chairman Meow stickers from the site for people to put in public. People have responded well, and I've sent them all over the world. Not sure if that will translate to sales, but it’s fun knowing that the stickers are on almost every continent! (And new 2009 stickers are now available, BTW.)

I’ve highlighted other examples of this sort of design, like the art of Laura Smith, here. There’s just something about Chairman Meow that tickles me big-time – perhaps because it feels right. At the same time, McCormick is following, even expanding on, the etailer’s creed (according to Thompson): Let your content roam freely online, so it generates as large an audience as possible.
Content wants to be free. But remember that it is fans that drive sales so don’t lock your fans out. This is hard to do for business-to-business marketers unless you get real lucky.

Something else going on right now: Soviet-era art continues to have an impact on the street...none more recently that the Shepard Fairey-designed Obama Inauguration Poster. Designer McCormick says he admires street artist Fairey. But I’ll take McCormick’s lighthearted approach over heavy propaganda every time. Support world domination. Obey the kitty!

Thanks to Kevin McCormick and Obeythepurebreed.com for the excellent material.

Ripped Off

Last week, Hannah Wood wrote about Bucksstar for Mirror.co.uk; in just days, the story has gone from blogland to National Public Radio:

China has confirmed itself as the “king of counterfeiters” with the building of a new shopping centre dedicated to fake brands. Some of the brand impostors at the mall in Nanjing, east of Shanghai, include a McDonalds look-a-like burger bar called McDnoald’s, a Starbucks-style coffee shop called Bucksstar Coffee, and a wannabe Pizza Hut called Pizza Huh. City bosses are under pressure to ban the soon-to-be opened mall after pictures of the fake stores were leaked, causing uproar amongst angry consumers who feared they'd be ripped off.

As popular as the story’s been, I haven’t seen anyone comment on the unfortunate first sentence. China doesn’t have to confirm its inability or unwillingness to clamp down on brand counterfeiters. Knocking off national and international brands has been going on for decades in China. Some days, brand thievery seems like the national business model.

It’s not always easy to find photographs: Google “Fake Brands in China” for yourself and you’ll see links…but not so many photographs of offending rip-offs like Mak Dak.

If the Nanjing shopping center is doing this as a parody or homage, then the owners will be paying royalties to Starbucks, Pizza Hut and McDonald’s for the privilege.

Don’t hold your breath.

BTW, each of the US brand names in this post is protected by one or more trademarks. All rights reserved.

Counseling Gazprom

While you were sleeping, the “gas wars” started again in Eastern Europe, just in time for the roughest part of winter. Russia had been threatening to cut off the flow of natural gas through Ukraine to Europe. As of this morning there are six countries going without. (Remember: Gazprom is the huge Russian monopoly; Transneft is its Ukrainian gas transportation counterpart and customer.)

It’s not the first time Russia and Gazprom have played the natgas shutoff card. What is new is that Gazprom has deployed public relations to provide a level of nuance that I haven’t seen before. Read deep and you’ll see the result of intentions made clear in January 2007 when Kommersant.com announced that the Russian energy giant was going to get some PR counsel on its side for a change.

Gavin Anderson & Company is apparently one of Gazprom’s PR counselors. This morning, on the heels of the news about actions resulting from Gazprom’s suspension of specific gas deliveries, Kate Hill, Gavin Anderson’s London Managing Director, was quoted. “People are going to understand,” she said, “that Gazprom is a company with shareholders, and they cannot be expected to keep supplying a good without payment, or without a plan for future payment.”

The FT.com piece provides even more detail: In commercial terms, the question of who is in the right is not straightforward. The dispute involves questions such as how much Ukraine pays Russia for gas; how much Russia pays in transit fees for the gas that goes through Ukraine; how much Russia can charge in late payment fees; and to what extent the falling price of oil should affect the price.

When you read a headline like “Six countries lose Russian gas,” it’s easy to conclude that Russia is using its natural gas to bully Europe again. It’s even easier to note the horrified reactions from many European leaders who accuse Russian and Gazprom of breaking promises.

Study the press coverage carefully, though, and discover and it’s not a huge let’s-pile-on-Russia media onslaught. In fact, there’s a good bit of “he said/she said” going on. Read critically; it will be clear that many news reports are more balanced than at any time in the last several years.

That tells me the public relations firms are doing their job – you and I may not like it but it does demonstrate there are at least two sides to this story. That’s effective counsel at work.

The “Smalls”

How to enjoy brief visits to unknown worlds? Follow me.

Let’s set the stage: It’s the pleasantly lazy days after Christmas – Happy New Year, BTW. I fulfilled an annual enjoyment this past week, picking up half a dozen magazines at the newsstand and reading them. I do a lot of reading, but dipping into infrequently read publications exposes me to different subjects, unusual ideas, even unlooked-for ads.

This season’s batch includes Foreign Affairs, American Handgunner, Scientific American and Smithsonian. In the back of Smithsonian, I remade my acquaintance with the “Smalls” – those tiny, one- or two-inch adlets that hang out in the final few pages of many magazines.

I admire them. First, they’re a form of advertising that’s been around a very long time. Second, they have to do a lot of heavy lifting for such tiny advertisements. Quite often, these little billboards have been detailed and fine-tuned to the point where they deliver plenty of interested magazine readers to the right websites or the right 800 numbers.

Third, the “Smalls” offer wonderful adventures to unusual places. And I don’t mean the Pakistani hinterlands or Mexican border towns. Just on this page, you can thrill yourself with a drop in at Heirloom Orchards, where “every apple has a story” (www.HeirloomOrchards.com). Read all about the Albemarle Pippin, the Arkansas Black and…the Spitzenberg, among others.

Shop a hat. How can you resist that photo near the bottom of the page with debonair John Helmer himself sporting the $14 “European Beret” (www.JohnHelmer.com)? So far, we’re still in Oregon, another virtue of these smaller ads: They come from unexpected places like Portland, OR, and Hopkinton, MA – that’s Upton Tea Imports, in case you didn’t notice; visit www.Uptontea.com and read the latest installment of “Reversals of Fortune in the Tea Industry.”

Men’s wide shoes – who knew shoes came 6E wide? – handcrafted wooden jigsaw puzzles, carnelian-nosed reindeer jewelry, Shaker boxes. Turn a page and drop in on The Bow Tie Club (www.bowtieclub.com) which is a great brand idea but lacks conceptual support. For really vivid bow ties, swing by Beau Ties Ltd of Vermont (www.beautiesltd.com); if you don’t see something that’ll blind your friends, Bill Kenerson vows to make it up for you special.

From time to time over the years, I have used shops advertised by “Smalls” to find the perfect Christmas or birthday gift, the right business mementos for an overseas agency trip. These micro-adventures engage you in authentic ancient artifacts, museum-quality models or down bathrobes, your choice.

They also serve as continual reminders that effective advertising doesn’t necessarily stand or fall on big ideas and bigger budgets: That’s why I think of the “Smalls” as micro-billboards.

I’ll sign off for 2008 with one of this year’s faves: Athena Pheromones (www.Athenainstitute.com). Not sold in stores, these “fragrance additives for men and women” promise a bouquet of earthly delights. More important, they come with an irresistible testimonial from Larry in New York: This stuff is like catnip. Too many women come after me. I am looking for a woman my own age but the 10X attracts them all.

Wow – I’m sold!

Juicy Fruity

Thanks to Paradise on a Hanger, I won’t be going into 2009 without a marvelously loud tropical shirt. (Consider it my version of guerilla marketing, will ya?)

The little number you see on the right is a Jams World® special called “Juicy Fruity.” It’s got your super organic pineapple design with unmatched panels of lime green and gray. Jams World makes these shirts bright and smart – which must mean I bought it by accident. The button-ups are made from 100% spun crushed rayon, an unusual fabric that receives a permanent “crush” (not wrinkled) finish prior to printing. So I get these tiny pockets of air between the soft fabric and my tender skin; it’s amazingly comfortable as well as dramatic.

You can poke around in the Jams World…uh…world for yourself – it started as a small surf shop in Honolulu. But I'm not going to make it easy: Search it out for yourself. And if you guess what I covet for my next Signalwrite marketing wearable, I’ll throw a genuine Hawaiian pineapple your way. Ta for the run-up to Nine!

Street Marketing

Cruising the blogs, I found this superbly telling photo posted on the Shiela Edelman blog, without comment. It’s enjoyable in so many ways, I’ll do the commenting while saying “thank you” to Edelman in Pittsburgh.

The grate adaptation goes beyond an imaginative sales message or creative medium (though the street ad for Vijay Sales encompasses both of these). To me, it drives home an understanding that Indian consumer marketing is moving up…it’s already come a long way but its roots are in the street – with the people.

There’s some portion of Indian society that will recognize and appreciate the wry humor behind “Need a New Barbecue?” Thanks to Google, though, we can find out even more. Vijay Sales is (apparently) a very large chain in India, principally known for electronics and appliance sales. It has a large-scale presence on the Internet in terms of mobile phones and other CE goodies.

The telephone number shown in the photo is for Vijay Sales #384, in Prabhadevi, Mumbai; “near Citibank,” says the Yellow Pages. And one additional virtue of the Worldwide Web is the customer reviews: This particular Vijay store gets hammered on customer service. For example:

Cash counter guy not able to give me a receipt, saying that the computers are down, they can’t generate bill. Further, he tells me that credit card slip is sufficient. I DEMAND some valid proof of my payment and purchase. 30K is not chana-singdana. I am given a paltry receipt without any order number to keep.

This shopper advised that buying something off-the-shelf from Vijay (like a barbecue grill) was alright but don’t count on any kind of after-sales installation.

Fortunately, we can just look at the “street art” idea behind this particular sales promotion and be amused – probably the way most non-Vijay customers were. I’ll also drop a line to Sunil Shibad in Mumbai – maybe he knows this campaign or the retailer. Meantime, Merry Christmas Eve!

…To China

Flying to China, traveling
“Via regions closer to the North Pole,”
You can save three hours.

Dashing through the gemstone sky,
You note, besides the ice,
Some tiny speedy dots in line ahead.

Seeing with a sharper eye than ours,
You will discern the shapes of that odd chain,
The antlers of the reindeer in their harness.

Bringing up the rear, the black stuffed sleigh
And tiny, red-robed figure – infinitesimal:
The sacred Santa weighs the naughty and the nice.

Flying to China, if you’re good,
You’ll see this sight just once in life.
Or roving (very lucky) at the right time of year.

“Flying to China” was created for and first read aloud at John and Susan Reeves’s Christmas Party. Thanks to everyone for giving me a chance to read this – and to Susan, who suggested a poem in the first place. Merry/Happy. Copyright © 2008 Richard Laurence Baron. All rights reserved. Photo by Orin Zebest, San Francisco, CA.

"Purple" Bullies

According to today’s Houston Chronicle, the makers of Purple Stuff (Funktional Beverages Inc.) are concerned citizens and reviewing their label – after great big, loud concerns over the drink’s trademarked term, “Lean with it.”

Lean is identified as “a street term for the mixture of codeine syrup with soft drinks or alcohol.”

In the copyrighted article by Jemimah Noonoo, this: Also Tuesday, community activist Quanell X protested Purple Stuff and Drank at a news conference in southeast Houston. “This is a disgrace to our community,” he said, standing in front of a service station where Purple Stuff is sold. “We are calling on the business people of our community to do the right thing by not exploiting the drug culture that has taken so many lives.”

Marketers, CPG firms in particular, are frequently sensitive to community pressure, especially when the manufacturer/retailer is small and local. This may explain why “community activists” are going after Funktional and not – surprise – the Coca-Cola Company.

Can we expect to see the activists picketing the Coca-Cola plant on Brittmore Road because the world’s largest soft drink company is exploiting the drug culture? After all, things go better with Coke.*

*Read all about this famous theme at Some Velvet Blog.

Coffeehouse Christmas

“The world really is our coffeehouse.” Here’s where we meet, talk, discuss our businesses, share one another’s lives. It’s where, when you walk in the door, you will hear me call out, “Merry Christmas!” (or “Happy Hanukkah” or “Happy New Year” or many another seasonal greeting).

This year, 2008, has been chills and spills and thrills from the get-go. You should know: You have hung in there with me among all the bangs and blows of a bizarre 12 months. If it wasn’t a family death, it was a great big trade show or a trip to Denver or a hugeous hurricane.

If you’ve had the time, you’ve been able to track Richard-and-Barbara’s travels by the blog posts about coffeehouses: Plantation Coffee in Phoenix, Dalhart’s Superstar Coffee Company, Bastrop’s Coffee Dog. The road traveled has had quite a few caffeinated pauses (a seeming contradiction) along the way.

Despite everything…here we are again in December, at Christmastime. It’s amazing. You’re amazing. You’ve stuck with me through thick and thin this year, as colleagues and kin, friends and acquaintances.

I’m very grateful: My thanks for your business and support, love and kisses. ‘Tis the season to be merry and I hope you enjoy every vivid moment of it.

Also, please accept my best wishes for a fruitful year ahead. We will have many new things to confront together, some to be accepted, some to be overcome. All can be done at our nearby coffeehouse with a fresh cup of java or two or three. I’ll buy.

Merry/Happy all of these: Hanukkah begins 12/21 – the same day as Winter; Christmas Eve on 12/24 as usual. Kwanzaa starts 12/26, which is also Boxing Day (I always thought that was the day you cleared up all the thrashed Christmas wrappings). And “Festivus for the rest of us” added by Chuck Curtis. And "Merry Chrismakah, Hannumas" from Mark Lipschitz. Thank you to Prism Design, Inc., for the holiday coffee label design.

Bratz™ Angst

They have their own channel on YouTube, and their own music videos. They have an “exposé” video courtesy of The Wall Street Journal. They are the subject of blogs coast to coast. What they are is Bratz Dolls from MGA Entertainment, which began marketing them in 2001.

Some consumers just plain hate Bratz and everything they stand for. Certainly, there’s been enough press about how Bratz dolls – and their multiple advertising avenues – are corrupting young girls’ body images, etc. Other consumers believe there’s simply something evil about girls who just want to have fun.

These folks are probably satisfied about the latest news: US District Court Judge Stephen Larson granted Mattel, Inc., an injunction to stop rival toymaker MGA Entertainment from producing and selling the Bratz dolls. This comes after a federal jury found that Bratz dolls were originally conceived by a designer who worked at Mattel and illegally took the designs to MGA.

Advertisers and ad agencies take note: MGA may no longer make, sell, advertise or license products from its core Bratz lineup or any line extensions, such as Lil’ Bratz, Bratz Boyz and Bratz Petz. All this because one company or person wasn’t (apparently) honest.

Bratz fans – passionate stakeholders – either believe that the trial has proven MGA’s guilt, or that Mattel is simply muscling in on Bratz because the older toy company has been losing market share. Do a bit of reading on the Web; you’ll discover just how informed and engaged these fans are.

I don’t much care for the Bratz concept; I’m hardly in the toys’ target demographic. (Have you SEEN the Bratz Boyz?) But MGA has been making quite a bit of money by engaging Bratz fans in all media. Right now, those fans are upset and depressed.

Although it’s far more complex a case history that can be covered in just a few ‘graphs, the owner loyalty elements alone are worth examining in greater detail. Maybe after Christmas. Ta.

Civilization’s End

I have met the enemy – it’s the French. Brown-Forman put out a holiday drinks pamphlet this week, an advertising supplement in the Houston Chronicle, bought and paid for by Spec’s, and a proper promotional piece for the holidays.

Various Brown-Forman booze brands are presents, complete with recipes for a number of different seasonally styled drinks. (I’d like to think the beverage conglomerate is doing something right: In the teeth of the economic meltdown we’re having, Brown-Forman reported a 4% second-quarter operating income growth this week: “Jack Daniels and Finlandia, dey been berry, berry good to us!”)

Any road, on the Chambord® Raspberry Liqueur spread, the top recipe is one of the brand’s standbys, the French Martini. It’s not enough, apparently, that this mongrel uses vodka. There’s also some Chambord for flavoring and it reads like a candy recipe:

2 shots Pravda luxury Polish vodka*

2½ shots fresh pineapple juice

½ shot Chambord raspberry liqueur
1 twist lemon peel.

Pour each of the above into a tall bar glass. Shake with ice, pour into a cocktail or martini glass and serve.

Friends, the Chambord mixologists have no shame: This French Martini is more like a Mixed Fruit Cocktail. Purists know that the true Martini uses very, very dry gin!

Googling “Chambord French Martini,” you’ll discover dozens of listing and blogs whose readers top-rate the concoction – 540 Drinksmixer.com readers rate it at 9.5 which is disconcerting.

It’s the end of civilization, foretold in the Book of Revelations or Marvel Comics. Still, on your behalf, I will force myself to mix and drink one or two or three French Martini drinks prior to Christmas – perhaps Santa and his reindeer will arrive with salvation before the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse descend.

What can you expect? The Pravda Perfect Martini not only uses 2 ounces of vodka, but 1 ounce of “pure water.” Horror!

Dad Drank..?

Beginning December with liquor ads is appropriate: Christmas is just ‘round the corner. The coming season is filled with opportunities to drink, drink, drink. (But, like, you know, do it responsibly.)

I’ve been reminded of two utterly different ad concepts for brown liquors since I ran across them in one issue of a single magazine: One full-page from Knob Creek (top left) and one for Canadian Club (bottom left). The campaigns couldn’t be more different.

Knob Creek’s ads have been praised as highly designed; the look is metro-modern. This small-batch bourbon’s after the upscale drinker, so maybe it’s not twee* to come up with a slogan like “Drink Life Deeply” but it feels that way. I also would have liked to spend more time hanging over a stylish bar drinking a bourbon by myself. I never looked as good as that model right down to the mildly unshaven look.

So I’m probably jealous to prefer the Canadian Club campaign, “Damn Right Your Dad Drank It.”

It’s a masterpiece of subversion and particularly evocative for me. I can see my daddy in the various photographs. Actually, I can see me because that’s the Dad-Gen to which the CC folks are referring.

I’m enjoyed the daylights out of these ads, even though I’m not in the target demographic. Energy BBDO, Chicago, has nailed the thinking, the styling and the concept.

My daddy, BTW, drank Old Overholt and was proud of it. When was the last time you hear anyone drinking rye?

Both campaigns are heavily covered in the trade press and the blogosphere. Steve Hall, tireless marcom observer who runs the AdRants social network, has portrayed both campaigns – you can read about them here and here.

As a final note, Catharine Taylor, blogging on Adverganza, highlighted the Canadian Club campaign, too. She mentioned the politically incorrect nature of the ads – echoed by one anonymous commenter, “Yes, it’s amazing how the ads demean women and exclude minorities at the same time.” Right!

Dear Whoever-You-Are-Anonymous: It’s liquor advertising, dear. Review the marketing brief and lighten up.

*Close enough: “…affectedly or excessively dainty, delicate, cute, or quaint,” Merriam-Webster.com, and appreciation for a job well done to Energy BBDO.

None Such®

The most immediate challenge, solved just hours ago? We couldn’t find mincemeat for a holiday pie. The neighborhood’s changed to the point where mincemeat can’t reliably be found.

Very traditional in our household for Thanksgiving, mincemeat pie – Barbara makes a good one. But it’s not generally the kind of thing advertised in the flyers, at least not that we noticed. I asked Barbara what brand she used; I couldn’t remember. But she did: Borden None Such “Classic Original” Mincemeat.

I went looking online; discovered a terrific post by “Pam” at the Nature Woman blog with more than I ever could have expected about the brand and the advertising. It’s the kind of work that’s normal on Signalwriter, but this time from someone else. I’m not going to duplicate it all. Pam wrote,

In the 1920’s...Merrell-Soule’s signature product was None Such Mince Meat for pies perfected by G Lewis Merrell and Oscar Soule at their small canning factory on West Fayette St [in Syracuse. NY] starting in 1868. When Merrell-Soule was sold to Borden Co in 1928 it was one of the largest manufacturers of powdered milk, mince meat and powdered lemon extract in the world.

The ad from around 1937 is just one of a number of photos appearing on Pam’s blog…the classic method of generating readership – a recipe right in the ad – is present and accounted for.

I found None Such products on the Eagle Family Foods website (Eagle being a spin-off of Borden’s now owned by JM Smucker Company) along with excellent recipes for everything from Apple Mince Pie to Zesty Chili.

“None Such” means a person or thing without equal; a paragon…one that is unequalled. It’s a great brand with a long history but I’m not certain that Eagle has ever really fulfilled the long-time goal of turning this holiday specialty into an everyday treat, at least not broadly.

Reading through comments on Nature Woman, it seems like the unavailability of mincemeat pie filling is a common complaint. We did finally find both ready-to-use and condensed versions at Kroger’s. Barbara’s finished with the baking. I’m not certain we’ll take the mincemeat pie with us when we go down to Sugar Land for Thanksgiving with Doug, Donna and Maddy Rose. We will be with the Texas part of the family on Thursday.

Rachel and Alison will be doing the holiday in New Jersey. Most of the Slaviks will be at Nancy and Roger’s in New Prague (though Lynn and Greg will be having the traditional feast with the Hrabe side of the family just a couple of blocks away to start with). The Eisenbergs are congregating mainly at Gerry and Irene’s in Chicago. It’ll be a full day with full stomachs; I am personally grateful for every blessing.

Best wish: May your 2008 Thanksgiving holiday be “none such.”

Thanks to Nature Woman for her great blog post.

Scrubbing Bubbles®

The product was created by Dow Chemical, but Della Femina Travisano and Partners made Scrubbing Bubbles world-famous.

High-energy animated TV commercials starred ventriloquist Paul Winchell as the original voice of the leader of the Scrubbing Bubbles crew. The bristle-mouthed bubbles took the bathroom cleanser segment by storm. Dow itself became famous for an entire range of consumer products from Ziploc and Saran Wrap to Spray ’n Wash and, yes, Scrubbing Bubbles.

SC Johnson purchased Dow’s DowBrands division in 1997, to expand its own roster of consumer brands. Johnson has kept the Scrubbing Bubbles line fresh with product offshoots and extensions…ongoing ad campaigns have played a major role in product sales.

Now new ads are running under the title “SCUBBOLOGY 101” in homemakers’ magazines like Ladies’ Home Journal and Family Circle. They feature a sharply illustrated clipboard – a frame, if you will – holding one datasheet per product, done up with engineering drawings, bits of random Post-It notes and photos.

It’s a mature approach: I worked on a similarly conceived campaign for Honeywell Temperature Control Systems in the 1970s. BBDO Minneapolis created the format; its illustrated frame was a blank piece of paper in an IBM Selectric® II typewriter – that’s how mature it is. Every 60 days, our client-agency team came up with a new HVAC Update No So-and-So. Then BBDO would lay out the ad copy and engineering drawings on the blank sheet as though it had been typed onto the paper itself.

That idea, delivering detailed engineering information to a specific set of engineers, worked like a son of a gun. I remember we regularly had top readership scores in every issue of arcane publications such as Machine Design.

No reason why the same idea won’t work for Scrubbing Bubbles. The executions are fresh and bright. The campaign tag at the bottom of each ad still resonates: “We work hard so you don't have to.” Most important, the ads stand out in the magazines…it’s low-tech but it delivers a lot of visibility.

Arty Terminal

There are styles in illustration that reward visit after visit, maybe for no other reason than “I like that.” The latest piece from Steve Collier is a case in point. He completed the illustration above and sent it out as a promo piece, echoing the VisitHoustonTexas.com website: The Houston Municipal Airport Terminal is a beautiful and rare example of classic art deco airport architecture from the golden age of flight.

The Terminal served Houston during the years when air travelers dressed in their finest and embarked for exotic destinations aboard roaring propliners like the Douglas DC-3 and the Lockheed Constellation.

The 1940 Terminal is in the hands of The Houston Aeronautical Heritage Society, which has been restoring it for the past five years. The illustrator told me he got interested in doing something with it. “The website will give you more details on the establishment of the airport and its development through the years. Great looking art deco building.”

I was entertained by one early-history snippet from July, 1938: After setting a new speed record flying his Lockheed 14 Super Electra around the world, Howard Hughes visits Houston for a 3-day celebration…The City announces that Houston Municipal Airport will be renamed Howard Hughes Municipal Airport. A few months later, it is learned that the airport will be disqualified for Federal grant money if it is named after a living person and the name is changed back to Houston Municipal Airport.

The Feds changed their tune sometime between ’38 and ’97, if George Bush Intercontinental Airport is any clue.

There was a golden age of commercial flight: Classic airplanes and classy airlines. Airline advertising. Even airport humor. Shelly Berman routined in 1959: I never have the slightest doubt about my safety in a plane until I walk into an airport terminal and realize that there is a thriving industry in this building selling life insurance policies. (I think I still have that album somewhere.)

Air travel is nowhere so freewheeling and enjoyable now. Visit the 1940 Terminal at Hobby Airport and you may see a bit of what it was like in the…old days.

Thanks to Collier for sending the art my way; here is what the Terminal looked like on Opening Day:

Idaho Spud®

Older, “classic” brands don’t always represent great products.

That seems to be true of the Idaho Spud, from the Idaho Candy Company in Boise: “Delivering the Finest Candy and Service Since 1901.” Laura Kamrath delivered these treats to Houston; she picked up several at a trade show in Louisiana. Patrick Fisher, writing on FinkBuilt.com, calls it an “old-skool candy bar.”

The Idaho Candy Company started in 1901, built a new factory in ’09 and produced more than 50 different candy bars and many boxed chocolates (including Owyhee Butter Toffee) over the years. The website boasts a fan club with Idaho Spud recipes and not much else.

Like other older candy brands, its fame these days spreads more by word of mouth than formal advertising…enthusiasts who spot it lurking on the lower shelves of smaller grocery stores – or run across it a an oil industry trade show, for God’s sake. We (Kamrath and I) suspect that someone connected the brand name to the oilfield term “spud in” – to begin drilling, to start an oil well – and decided to use the bars as memorable handouts.

Sad to relate, the Idaho Spud is an unusual confection, an acquired taste like a number of regional candy bars. Its flavors…a wonderful combination of a light cocoa flavored marshmallow center drenched with a dark chocolate coating and then sprinkled with coconut (Sorry, no potato!)…are muddled and a bit stale.

There must be some nostalgia, and quite a lot of private-label manufacturing, to enable the Idaho Candy Company to remain in business. I wish ‘em success…but no one’s going to waste a formal marketing campaign on the Idaho Spud.

On the other side of the Spud is the almost equally classic Zero candy bar, created in 1931 by the Hollywood Candy Company in Minnesota and made ever since of “Caramel, Peanut, and Almond nougat covered with white fudge.”

Zero has a loyal consumer base (including me) and I ran across a fresh box as recently as this afternoon in a Huntsville, TX, Valero C-store. To repeat one candy retailer, I’m comforted that candy bars like the Zero, and yes, even the Idaho Spud, are merely “hard to find,” not “no longer in production.” Since the Zero is produced today by Hershey, I’m pretty certain it gets more channel attention that the stolid Spud.

But hey, you’ll want to taste-test these two traditional confections. Let me know how that turns out. Ta for the weekend.

Photo: Richard Derk/Los Angeles Times

Sherman’s Show

It is hard to know which of the elements contribute to a powerful Howard Sherman opening at the Art Museum of Southeast Texas (AMSET) last Saturday evening. Since, by definition, it is now after the opening, you have to be satisfied by two out of three…but you ought to go.

Start with the most granular: Sherman’s huge new paintings demonstrated an upgunned sensibility. The show’s title piece, Eating Your Friction, is immense but by no means the only striking piece. I’m not a critic, you know that. And the Barons own several Sherman paintings so I’m not objective. Still, this is an amazing new set of works that shows how far Sherman has evolved. Fortunately, the provocative bits – one reviewer calls it “in-your-face art” – are still vividly present. My favorite is shown above: Flea Market Mood Ring.

During the Artist’s Presentation, Barbara Nytes-Baron asked, “Howard, none of our paintings have pink in them. Why are you using pink in these new pieces?” Sure enough, there are pinks and greens – Sherman noted that he’d gone to these unusual colors because they made him feel uncomfortable, they were not normally present in his palette. He’s pushing boundaries (which sounds banal until you see the work). Barbara and I were pleased to have been in on the premier.

Which took place, secondly, in the superb AMSET on Main Street in downtown Beaumont. Before last week, we’ve treated Beaumont as just a place to stop for a bite to eat on our drives to and from Atlanta. We’re going to have to change that – AMSET is a treasure. AMSET Executive Director Lynn Castle has offered a space that’s perfect for Howard paintings; visitors will be amazed, I think, to find this caliber of museum display evidenced by the Sherman exhibition. (Spend time with AMSET’s folk art collection; of its permanent acquisitions, I loved Daedelus by Paul Manes – the subject matter is beautifully handled by the scope of the piece.)

Third, the attendees were invited to a post-opening reception sponsored by major supporters of the arts in Beaumont. I’d like to thank Kim and Roy Steinhagen for opening their home to a rather large gang of art groupies from Houston. The real benefit of this reception was to add a significant new dimension, a personal one, to our Beaumont visit. “The natives are friendly and bright!”

Houston and Beaumont are just 97 miles apart: Not a very big drive for people who want an art adventure. See this show – it will do you so much good and it will change the way you think of Southeast Texas. I promise.

“Thank you,” all who made Opening Night such a treat.

Once a Screaming Eagle: A Veterans Day Post.

Herman L Eisenberg died in Chicago on October 16th, age 90. According to family legend, he served with the 101st Airborne in Bastogne, Belgium, in the winter of ’44-’45.

Perhaps the specifics are wrong but the generality is correct: Uncle Herman was, with my daddy and Uncle Manny and Sam Slavik, part of that particular generation of American soldiers who fought in – and lived through – World War II.

When people’s lives extend for so many years, they become celebrated for their longevity but not often for their long-ago service in World War II. Uncle Herman’s passing reminds me of a line by Canadian poet Archibald Lampman, “They know no season but the end of time.”

Today is Veterans Day. Join me in celebrating those you know who have served and are serving throughout the world, defending our freedoms. As long as we remember the names, they’ll never know the end of time.

In addition to Uncle Herman: Paul Hirsch Baron, Emmanuel Katz and Sam Slavik. Phil Slavik. Norman Sabel and Sherman Sabel. Joel Hirsch Goldberg. Thomas Biddulph, Richard Dailey, Richard Fox, Bill Gay and Richard Sutter. David Starr. Frank B Foulk. Chris Hrabe. AJ Smith and Paul Hoven. John Naumann. George A Schuler, Jr. Alan Vera. Nathanael Charles Yonka, Jr. Hoi Nguyen and Ellis Alexander. And the names from the Gunroom (you know who you are): Paul Johnson, KCMO, and “Charlezzzzz” Muñoz. And me.

This list grows year by year. You’re welcome to add names of your own.

*Thanks to Margie Eisenberg and Miriam Eisenberg for the photograph taken “somewhere in England in ’44.” You can see the caduceus of the US Army Medical Corps on Herman’s lapels. His jump wings are just visible under his left lapel; the division patch on his left shoulder is the “Screaming Eagle” of the 101st Airborne Division.

Warhol’d Up

I can’t paint but I can help make art: Look at the excellent new Locke Bryan Productions house ad. I’ve had occasion to blog about Locke Bryan before (here and here). The reference to the art and style of Andy Warhol couldn’t be more pointed.

In adopting this colorful Warhol homage for their house ad, Camille and Locke Bryan are using its iconic style on behalf of film/video production. Without a willing client, the ad would never run. This one will, in film and video directories nationwide, for the next year.

The ad’s creators are Kay Krenek on art direction, Paul Hera on illustration and me (concept/copy). Being full of myself, I imagine Warhol’s wry nod from the spirit world…he was a marvelous marketer.

Texas Oncology

More than 60 healthcare marketing people turned to at Memorial Hermann yesterday morning. They came from across the street and from as far away as Austin.

The in-betweeners had the toughest time getting into Texas Medical Center today, as usual. Still, despite the traffic, the AMA-Houston Healthcare SIG threw attendees a balanced seminar on Community Marketing: Expanding your brand outside your backyard. (I’m on the SIG steering committee; I’m not disinterested and I previewed the presentation here.)

Appealing to the “ad guy” part of me, the star of the show was Les Mann presenting the rebranding work on Texas Oncology, part of the US Oncology family. An example’s above – and here’s how the website describes the campaign:

The Texas Oncology “I Can” campaign was launched in 2007 throughout the state of Texas. It includes magazine and newspaper ads, radio and television spots, billboards and other marketing pieces. The campaign not only provides thousands of Texans with information about superior cancer treatment, technology and research, it inspires hope.

I’ll make two points about what Mann presented; then I’ll sign off for Saturday.

First, Texas Oncology has been thoroughly rebranded and smartly marketed. The campaign is active, not passive: Its bold but human face portrays a collection of independent medical practices as a coherent, focused assembly of like-minded treatment centers, working with their patients to beat cancer.

The marketing does NOT leave the organization’s brand for various stakeholders groups to define – it is clearly and strategically spelled out. Way to go.

Second, Mann conscientiously credited his advertising agency, HCB in Austin, for its part in formulating new strategies and creating strong advertising. HC&B received plenty of attention during his part of the seminar and rightly so. (Mann also credited his PR agency, Fleishman-Hillard, with vigorous community outreach.)

Good work ought to be recognized. Not every client thinks to do this. Hats off to Mann and his team for the work and for presenting it to us.

That’s my 22¢ (adjusting for 4% annual inflation) - don’t you forget to vote on Tuesday.

Heidi Klum

Always wanted to do a celebrity blog. Now I can. In this month’s Cooking Light ‘zine (among many other places): The new “Got Milk” ad featuring Heidi Klum. Marvelous, witty work from one of the most memorable brand campaigns ever. The secret: Keeping the executions fresh.

Klum also yodels – click here for the “Making of…” video and other details.

Then continue your dairy adventures by checking out the Ben and Jerry’s Election Day promotion – a free scoop of ice cream on the Day at your local BJ store. Don’t forget to vote.

Changing Brands

Did I jump ship – or was I pushed? Have I fallen out of love or just found a new object of my affections? Well, you decide, because I did change the brand of car I drive.
I wrote somewhere that I’d call myself “middle-aged” if I planned to live to 120. So it’s utterly wrong to inform you I’m having a mid-life crisis. A couple of photos tell the tale. Okay. So the top photo shows you where I’ve been.
The photo just above portrays where I am now. Heck of a change, isn’t it? This is a 2009 Scion xB in Black Sand Pearl. While I’m typing this, I’m on the Scion website, listening to a remix of Acid Life…not something I expected myself. Still, music (Scion CD Sampler Vol. 22, however techno-funky) makes it a bit easier to tell you why I changed to this oddball, toaster-shaped Toyota sub-brand from a Cadillac.

Reason 1: A change of environmental footprint. I was lucky to be getting 18 mpg in the city with the 2003 Caddy. At a minimum, without mods, the Scion is scoring about 25 in the urb. Even though I’ve purchased the Scion new (and there’s sort of a carbon penalty for that), I feel like I’m not going through as much gasoline with the Scion.

Reason 2: Economic reality. I hope the purchase and operating costs of the Scion will undercut the DeVille – though that’s yet to be seen. It’s early days yet. Still, it’s pretty important given what the country is going through right now.

Reason 3: Life-cycle reliability. The Caddy got old; the older it is, the more expensive it is to maintain. It’s kinda like me (no harm, no foul) so it’s not really the Cadillac’s fault. Still, the Toyotas have quite the rep. Barbara’s Prius continues to hum along getting 45 mpg on the highway with nary a mechanical hiccup. So we became a “Twoyota family” last week when I drove the xB into the garage…and the Scion’s control suite is virtually the same as the Prius. I don’t want to downplay the familiarity factor.

Reason 4: Time for a change. I spotted some fantastic custom Scions at the State Fair of Texas – this visual feast planted the idea in my head. The opportunity, at my age, to get involved with a much younger brand (and the Scion is targeted at a demographic at least one generation younger than me, maybe two) has a lot to do with my purchase decision.

Writing on BrandChannel.com back in May, Nichiketa Choudhary pointed out:

Consumer-brand relationships are less about love and more about friendship. Just like our friends, brands shape our experiences. They show up at work, at home, and everywhere in between. Brand thought leaders often use the language of love to describe the consumer-brand relationship; they compare the relationship to marriage, dating, an infatuation, and even a fling. Brands aspire to build a strong love with their customers. However, love can be very volatile and requires a great deal of commitment. Oftentimes, neither the brand nor the customer have this kind of commitment.

I have spent more than a decade as a Cadillac owner. The brand’s Penalty of Leadership ran strong in my family in the first place – and the mark has been my constant status symbol. To paraphrase the old saying, “I wasn’t born into a Caddy – I achieved it.” The DeVilles are superb road cars, plush as down comforters. Service at the local dealership has been attentive and familiar – I made some friends there.

The Cadillac Motor Car Company (General Motors) never betrayed me. If anything, the mark’s designs have become leading-edge all over again. Still, it turned time to question my commitment.

The Scion xB is younger, edgier – and more economical. Maybe I’m fooling myself. But really, it’s time to make new friends. I’m going to a Scion Fright Night at Don McGill Toyota Friday evening. Take along some trick-or-treat candy for the kids. See how the Houston Scikotics have customized their rides and maybe pick up some ideas of my own.

Events overtook the brand of car I drive. So I changed to deal with it. So far, the new badge feels just fine.

“Lunch Bags”

And not just any old Lunch Bags neither, but a 2003 vintage.

Barbara leaned into the library the other night and said with a big smile, “Want some Lunch Bags?” and held up the bottle – I laughed out loud. We opened it and consumed the whole bottle with relish (really, with hamburgers). I suppose we should be more discerning but we’re laughing and drinking; what are you doing?

Okay. Okay. It reminds me of a joke. I think Barbara will appreciate it ‘cause it’s called “Who is the Smarter Sex.”

A man and a woman get into a car accident, and it's a bad one. Both cars are totally demolished. Amazingly, though, neither of them is hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “Wow! Just look at our cars. There’s nothing left of them. But we’re just fine. It’s a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace the rest of our days.”

The man replied, “I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!”

The woman continued, “And look – here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of Lynch Bages Grand Cru Classé didn't break. Certainly God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods in agreement, opens the bottle of “Lunch Bags” and takes a few big swigs. Then he hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cork back in, and hands it back to the man. The man asks, “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. No. I think I’ll wait for the police.”

Philippe Holtzweiler‎ brought our now-empty bottle of Lunch Bags as a house gift the last time he visited Houston. I have to remember to tell him about the smarter sex.

Mucinex® Appalling

I’m not the only one who finds Mr Mucus (eeew!), the advertising mascot and chief spokes-thing for Mucinex, to be largely genuinely repulsive. Kimberly Ripley, writing on Gather.com, said in 2006:

The first advertisement I saw had me sitting upright, laughing, and shaking my head in disgust...all at the same time. Mucous has mated. It has procreated, which resulted in little mucous wad children bouncing on their tiny twin beds. Have you ever watched mucous have a pillow fight?

I've complained about the Mucinex ads before. Mucous is personified. It wears overalls and carries a suitcase as it is evicted from some poor slob's lungs after...of course...using Mucinex. In subsequent ads Mucous gets an apartment, marries a female wad of mucous in a white dress and veil, and even visits elderly mucosal in-laws.

Adams Respiratory Therapeutics of Ft. Worth, TX, has itself a family of winners in the Mucuses. The marketing for this product line (Mucinex, Mucinex D, Maximum Strength Mucinex, Musinex DM, etc.) is beating the snot out of every other competitor. Jim Edwards, writing on Allbusiness.com a year ago, noted:

In just three years, Mucinex has come from nowhere and now threatens to end the dominance of the traditional giants of the category. Mucinex’s sales have gone through the roof and currently rival or exceed that of McNeil/Johnson & Johnson’s Tylenol and Benadryl, and Wyeth’s Robitussin…The general consensus is that Adams’ success has come from its memorably disgusting marketing. Ads, handled in-house, show Mr. Mucus and his equally hideous family taking up unwanted residence in someone's lungs, and then being evicted by Mucinex. “Mucinex in. Mucus out,” is the tag.

The kicker, according to Edwards, is that Adams may have gotten the US FDA to “help out” with restricting other OTC medicines in this category, giving Mucinex a clear run at the niche lead.

One sidelight is the September story of two 10-year-old Florida boys who used Mucinex tablets to get higher than kites – then sick to their stomachs. This kind of news doesn’t get much play…and probably shouldn’t: If Mucinex does work as advertised, then it’s rightly popular. The manufacturer has outmaneuvered both the competition and the regulators and seems to be delivering an effective product.

Which brings us back to the messages, the media and Mr Mucus. The advertising budget is overwhelming. The copy is relentless – in one current ad, the word “Mucinex” occurs nine times; the word “mucus” shows up six times. (See here, “mucus” seems to be Latin for the noun meaning “slimy, semi-fluid discharge from the nose.” Ripley's “mucous” is supposed to be the adjectival form. Good luck with that.)

The art of Mr Mucus, though, is admirable. TV commercials are consistent and the website nicely interactive. There’s even a segment for kids. I’d never have come up with Mr Mucus…I am too Victorian. But the creators of this set of spokes-things clearly have a nose for it.

In fact, the Mucus Family’s originators follow in a long line of ad-guys of the type that brought us halitosis, BO and “the heartbreak of psoriasis.” I want our American Marketing Association chapter to invite this team to Houston for a case history presentation right now!

$3 Belgians

This is worth knowing: Blue Moon™ Belgian White is available at the Fox & Hounds restaurant, 11470 Westheimer, every Monday afternoon. Price: Three bucks a pint.

It’s what I was drinking at yesterday’s meeting of the “Selling Circle,” with Brian Bearden, Wes Lichtenstein and Joe Fournet. We don’t do it very often, which makes the get-togethers even more enjoyable.

It’s a casual sort of networking; on a pleasantly warm Monday afternoon like yesterday’s, we could talk and watch the home-bound traffic stack up in the westbound lanes.

For $3, Blue Moon is just fine. The name “Belgian White” refers to the beer’s cloudy white, opaque appearance. It’s a style of beer brewed in Belgium for three centuries. The Blue Moon brew is lightly spiced with fresh coriander and orange peel for a pleasurable and complex taste and a smooth finish.

A slice of orange compliments the Blue Moon witbier; it brings out the natural spices and fruit flavor…and makes it taste more like a fruit juice – you know, healthy. It’s unfiltered as well: Protein and yeast remain suspended in the beer and create the cloudy appearance. This all adds to the smoothness of the beer and appears to aid digestion. That is, it goes down easy on a hot day.

The Blue Moon brewery started in Denver, CO, and is now part of Coors in Golden. I think this is what happens to “good beers in neat niches” – they get bought out by giant brewers. And that’s how a pretty good craft-brewed beer gets onto the table in front of me, at three buckos per Belgian. A votre sante!

Mixed Fruit

How very odd, the plumicot!
A lot of flavors, this fruit’s got.
Now what about the aprilum?
They’re really much the same, in sum.

Barbara brought these home, had ‘em for din tonight. I wondered if we’d had these before, this funny cross between the plum and the apricot. Barbara said, “I think they’re also called pluots.”

“Why not aprilums?” I laughed (it’s easy to entertain myself.) So the verse above was invented on the spot – about the plumicot, you see.

As usual, I’m the last one to get the word about new fruit hybrids. The Chocolate Peanut Butter Factory, a blog about “the world’s two best ingredients,” posted an article on the same topic: A Pluot! Er…Plumicot! Or is it an Aprium? Conclusion: this fruit hybrid has too many names. It’s part of a tasty recipe involving peanut butter (naturally) and cocoa thingies.

According to Digitalseed, all these names are valid – and describe different hybrids. (Digitalseed uses “plumcot” rather than “plumicot.” Tough.) It’s worth noting, though, that this site identifies the various hybrids by some pleasant varietal names: Plum Parfait (plumcot), Flavor Delight (aprium) – and my fave, Dabble Dandy (pluot interspecific, whatever that is).

I’m not finding these hybrids advertised in the HEB flyer. You’ll just have to go to your nearby supermarket and see if they’re available: For once, advertising is really POP (uh…Point of Plumicot?).

Demonic Security

This is our new house demon. Bhairav is the “fierce manifestation of Shiva associated with annihilation.” Hinduism has many gods and goddesses, each one with its own legend…and I’m not about to go into Bhairav’s backstory here. As additional protection for the home, though, he’s the bomb.

We decided to add something to our new gate, the one that our neighbor next door put up for us. (Carl Atkins wanted more privacy so he raised the north side fence between our properties to an 8-foot height. Very nice work from the back; the fresh wood is real pretty.) We found Bhairav at the State Fair of Texas…just hanging around…hahaha.

“Bhairav” is also the title of an ancient raga, a Hindu song that could be a homecoming prayer: You are always on my mind. Your image lies captured within me. I long for your return. Waiting for you, day after day, I am depressed and disenchanted. Would you please return home?

That part about “depressed and disenchanted” – I’m not too thrilled about it, makes Bhairav sound like a gloomster. In fact, his nasty disposition is legendary. After researching him I think this is exactly the right approach against “ghosties and ghoulies and things that go bump in the night,” to mix mystical traditions.

Before I begin marketing Nepali demons as home security systems, though, let’s see how Bhairav stands up to a few months of fierce Gulf Coast sun and pouring rain. Meanwhile, he’s kind of attractive in a fierce, glowering way; his dark-green skin glows against the background of the cedar fencing. Here’s marketing to you, kid.

“24HRWebmaster.com” Begins

John Phillippe will attempt to provide one more answer to a (relatively) ageless question: Can you successfully market a service that’s hardly been thought of yet? I intend to help out with the answering process so this post is NOT disinterested. No atheists in foxholes here.

A plunger sparkler is a toy with a ratchet-driven spinning disk that shows sparks behind red celluloid windows. Phillippe is like that sparkler only he throws off ideas. Sometimes, one catches fire.

I think that’s what’s happened with 24HRWebmaster.com, the new Internet-delivered application that’s up and running now. This is an on-demand website maintenance service, a fix-it bureau for companies who either don’t have their own webmasters in-house or keep these professionals busy on more critical activities.

Around the clock, US website owners (of any size, shape and description) can log into their accounts online and request help changing their sites. Because of Phillippe’s long experience with websites, he makes sure that the services – fixes, changes, additions, deletions – are completely secure and done on time…within 24 hours, in fact.

Even large-scale organizations with in-house web pros sometimes have difficulty adding the name of the most recent sales manager in Des Moines, or the latest press release from the Florida operation. For companies and organizations without their own webistas, change represents even more of a challenge.

In Phillippe’s vision, 24HRWebmaster.com is there to quickly and efficiently execute content updates, database changes, graphic adds and deletes, FLASH animation revisions, site restructurings, feedback form modifications, even upload. The web service bureau can also troubleshoot coding problems.

All of these elements can be accomplished at one low hourly fee – a good deal given how much a real web professional can can do in 60 minutes.

He make it easy to maintain a fresh, relevant website. If I were writing sales copy (and this post is practice), I’d point out 24HRWebmaster.com is perfect for marketing and corporate communications people who live at the beck and call of their organizations 24 hours a day.

What’s with the coffee cup? Famous web-geeks are famously fueled by Jolt cola and Snickers bars. What powers this new web service bureau’s 24-hour-a-day activity could be that same chemical in coffee form…so Phillippe portrays the concept graphically by using this funky cup, soon to appear on the site.

A cuppa joe is probably the right metaphor for Phillippe himself. Author Honoré de Balzac said, “Coffee plunges into the stomach...the mind is aroused, and ideas pour forth like the battalions of the Grand Army on the field of battle.”

Here’s a fresh battalion for the wired battleground. Send a report from the front: If you try 24HRWebmaster.com for yourself, let me know if it delivers on its promises. I’ll faithfully report user experiences.