Company Policies

File under “Labor, Dignity of.” Entitled 2005 Most Unbelievable Workplace Events, global outplacement firm Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc., has released the following copyrighted list of stories that are most likely to make you ask, “Can a company actually do that?” Or, “You can’t beat these stories with a stick.”

• The Whine-Free Policy. A German company initiated a strict no-whining policy. Negative Nellies and other boat rockers are under a two-moans-and-out rule. According to the company, several workers have quit and two others have been fired for violating the whine-free policy.

• No Slack for War Wives. A Michigan woman was fired from her part-time receptionist job after failing to show up for work the day after seeing her husband off to war as a National Guard member.

• We Are Family, Only. DaimlerChrysler’s transmission plants in Kokomo, IN, have designated 80% of their employee parking as reserved for Chrysler vehicles only. Any non-Chrysler vehicle parked in a reserved area will be towed to Indianapolis, 50 miles away, where the employee will have to pay $200 to get his or her car back.

• Executive Whipped into Shape. An executive for a foundation that funds heart disease research was accused of embezzling more than $237,000 and using some of the money to pay for the services of a dominatrix.

• Rescue Squirrels on Your Own Time. A woman says she was suspended from her job for spending too much time trying to rescue a squirrel trapped in the ceiling of the library where she works.

• Anyone Desperate For a Job? The National Labor Relations Board refused to strike down a security company’s rule that prohibits employees from getting together away from work. The policy forbids workers from going to lunch together, attending each other’s weddings, or doing anything else they might want to do with each other outside of work.

• Productivity vs. Religion: And the Winner is… Thirty Muslim workers were fired from a major computer manufacturer’s Nashville, TN, plant for adhering to religious doctrine that requires them to pray daily at sunset.

• Forgot To Wrap That Can! A worker with a good record and no problems with his supervisors was unexpectedly fired from his job with a beer distributor. While no reason was given, the firing occurred on the same day a picture of the worker drinking a competitor’s beer appeared in a local newspaper.

• No Hablas Español. Two Spanish-speaking hair stylists in Chicago, IL, claim in a federal lawsuit that the company they worked for strictly banned the use of Spanish, even when employees were on their breaks. A sign at the establishment read, “Speaking a language other than English is not only disrespectful, it’s also prohibited.”

Thanks to Challenger, Gray & Christmas, Inc., you can find additional employment info about the workplace here. And continued seasonal wishes to workers of the world.

“Confrontation between a policeman wielding a night stick and a striker during the San Francisco General Strike.” By an unknown photographer, 1934, from National Archives, Records of the US Information Agency, with appreciation.