Lawyer Limits?

I am not certain who originated this. I got it straight from an Austin colleague who’s not known for his Republican sympathies. He got it from his lawyer: blame it on him.

Impatient with efforts to close the courts to litigants, the Administration literally fired the first shot in its groundbreaking “No Lawyer Left Standing” initiative. Vice-President Dick Cheney, hunting on a private lawyer ranch near Kingsville, Texas, bagged an impressive buck (Harry Whittington, UT Law ‘50).

Under the new program, hunters may take one white shoe in-house lawyer or three outside lawyers daily. The limit has been suspended for trial lawyers. “We've just got to thin the herd,” said the Vice-President. “We've tried tort reform and caps on damages, but people are still suing.” Cheney added, “It’s easy and fun. In Texas, you can shoot in almost any direction and hit a lawyer.”

In fairness, the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department has not yet revised its Upland Game rules to include attorneys – it is not clear if lawyers fall under the “Depredating Feral Hogs” exception. Game wardens have received no new instructions.

However, it is rumored that TPWD will either issue a RFP for designing a new Texas Lawyers Hunting Stamp or conduct a design contest for a 2007 stamp similar to that conducted by the Federal Duck Stamp Program. Watch this space for further developments.

Thanks and a tip of the Hatlo hat to Roger Edmondson.