Fruitocracy’s Footsoldiers

Here’s a bottle of Fizzy Lizzy Yakima Valley Grape soda – eight flavors all in neat glass bottles that the FL website calls “soldiers of Fruitocracy.” Well known in among modern foodies, the NYC company’s been around for eight years. Naturally (when it comes to “natural”), I’ve been behind the curve: Barbara and I finally selected a test bottle at Phoenicia on Westheimer.

The beverage is carbonated water and fruit juices, which have been empirically balanced to get the flavors that the brand owners like. I hadn’t seen any advertising in Houston.

I’m in it not just for the taste but for the quite neat website.

I recommend it to your attention and you can read the entire story of Fizzy Lizzy right there. It is a fine blend of art and message that conveys the hand-crafted nature of the products. There’s more scattered in various corners of the Internet like DesignWorkLife.com; if this is the kind of product you like and aren’t already sucking down, check out Ms Lizzy and her products.

Slate Failure

Richard, don’t buy Slate cologne again.

You paid way too much for 3.4 ounces of “Eau de Toilette for Men.” (If you really want more, you can buy it online for, like, 40% less. Doh!)

You know Banana Republic, the retailer, made the sales experience very nice. The guy in the Rice Village store was engaged and professional. You’re the one who decided to buy it. One, ‘cause you needed more foofy water and were trying to find some. Two, ‘cause you were in a rush and Banana Republic was right there.

To be sure: It’s 100 milliliters of charming “fragrance notes,” citrus, silver sage and ginger root. But any claim of scent life that touts anything length of time over an hour is a foul canard – no pun intended. (That one website, saying scent life is 6-10 hours, well that stinks.) Slate smelled really good on you right out of the spritzer but it faded, it faded fast. After 50 or 60 minutes the stuff is unsniffable.

Packaging? Well, you fell for that. The 3.4-ounce bottle is heavy glass with a heavy silver-coated stopped that you’ve already dropped in the sink twice because of its unaccustomed weight. The box? “Natural wood box packaging,” according to Banana Republic, deeply black and also really heavy, with magnetic closures. Magnets. Case, bottle, cologne – the total weight of the thing is one pound.

A reviewer on one fragrance website mentioned the packaging specifically, thought it was great for collectors. In fact, like so many product classes today, you could have read the online reviews first: Fragrances, for men and women, is so fraught with science and art, it’s a special realm all its own. You’d benefit from guidebooking, dog.

To be fair, Richard, Banana Republic is guilty of nothing more than good merchandizing. You’d have been smarter to have purchased a Slate “mini” and tried it out first. Caveat emptor is the Latin you’re looking for. Sucka.

PS: The Banana Republic brand owner, Gap Inc., turns 40 this year. It’s just been ranked #1 Retailer among the 100 Best Corporate Citizens for the fourth year in a row. PPS: Do NOT buy this for yourself for your upcoming b’day!

T-Mobile Demonstrates…

Interested in guerrilla marketing? The recent ish of Marketing News features staff writer Elizabeth A Sullivan’s take, “Guerrillas in the mist” – about how this kind of thing is “made for tough times.” It’s a nice article. It doesn’t describe guerrilla marketing.

If you haven’t seen the T-Mobile Dance activity yet, look here on YouTube. It’s how T-Mobile in the UK puts its “Life’s For Sharing” brand to work

Brittany on Blog.DOmedia.com already brought the word: Kudos to T-Mobile, and agency Saatchi & Saatchi, for giving us something to laugh at and talk about . . . which was probably the point. I also love that they thought outside the silos…and instead focused on building a connection between the experience and the brand, using all the relevant tools at their disposal.

That’s guerrilla marketing.

Bacon Chockies!

We’ve been talking about healthcare and – possibly – living a long time. Let’s kick that idea in the head and move on, thanks to Susan Kirkland, Master Designer. She called my attention to a chocolate-covered bacon confection created by Roni-Sue Chocolates in that pleasure dome of culinary creation: New York City. Called Pig Candy, it’s crispy fried bacon strips, dipped in either milk or dark chocolate. (There is also a devilish item yclept Bacon Buttercrunch.)

This is in addition to the collections of truffles and other goodies which you can browse right on Roni-Sue’s website. ‘Course, this being NYC, there’s already an argument in print about just who makes the city’s “best” chockies. Along with the seven highlighted by the New York magazine article, a dozen or more people have pitched in with their choices…all scrumptious.

You can do this kind of word-of-mouth stuff in the City where there are ever so many glitterati and literati and cuisineers and just-plain opinionaters.

Kirkland points specifically to meat candy, though – and in this particular category, Roni-Sue doesn’t have an exclusive. For example, let’s look to the forums on Egullet.org and discover that Snowangel “Recently made Bacon Candy with bacon from Lenny’s meat market in New Ulm, MN. Also made some with ‘thin’ bacon ends from Hackenmueller's meat market in Robbinsdale.” Goodness, that’s tasty!

And then, from Vosges Haut Chocolat, there’s Mo’s Bacon Bar: “Applewood smoked bacon + Alderwood-smoked salt + deep milk chocolate, 41% cacao.”

Enough. Enough. My cardiologist(s) will see far more of me if I keep this up. I can’t read Kirkland’s mind; maybe she’s reminding me that all work (healthcare, e.g.) and no play (say, chocolate bacon bark – what a lark!) makes Ree-shard a dull boy. Thanks, Susan! The next box of bacon chockies is on me.

Photo: Hannah Whitaker, New York, with appreciation. It appears in the copyrighted article, “Cocoa Locals,” February 8, 2009.

Knowable, Noble

Three days after an outstanding AMA-Houston Healthcare SIG seminar at Rice University, Houston pediatrician Dr Ana Malinow wrote in the Houston Chronicle about treating a six-year-old girl in a public clinic:

When I saw her, her hand was swollen to twice the normal size, purple, tender and warm to the touch, with a red streak (signifying an extension of…infection…to the bloodstream)…she was uninsured and had been sent home with a prescription that her mother tried to fill but was unable to afford. How much did the antibiotic…cost? $500.

The four speakers who addressed “Marketing Healthcare under a New Administration” were effective and humorous. Passionate. Completely engaged with almost 100 attendees. Each one lit up a different facet of the American healthcare system in crisis…a phrase that’s still stabbingly relevant as Malinow’s op-ed letter makes clear.

The nature of this blog makes it difficult to condense two hours of presentations and QAs into a few paragraphs. Still, I’m revisiting the event because of the high quality of the presentations.

Dr Lewis Foxhall, President of the Harris County Medical Society, delivered the overview and laid the foundations of the case, quickly but effectively covering present circumstances.

Memorial City Medical Center’s Tim Schauer addressed policy issues and made the case that pay-for-performance will never work because medicine is still a “practice.” He also spotlighted the nature of special interests.

Houston Wellness Association president Jonathan Lack portrayed wellness as key player in prospective solutions, emphasizing that workplace wellness is a productivity tool. He vividly revealed portrayed the challenges of community and public health. Lack contends that today’s medical center is a sick-care model and it’s considerably overburdened.

Yaffe Deutser’s President/COO, Brad Deutser, concluded with what might be called the “capitalist model” of marketing healthcare: The state of the economy isn’t going to change the number of affluent people but will change what the affluent people buy from doctors and dentists. He suggests that marketing effectiveness will still be an organizational survival mechanism, targeting more profitable prospects.

In presenting, Deutser unconsciously set the tone for my morning. One of his premises was, all target prospect information can be found – “Today, everything is knowable.” What I heard the first few times Deutser said this is, “Today, everything is noble.”

Compared to healthcare in some parts of the world, America has arguably progressed only slowly to noble. The most valuable transformation under the new administration in Washington, then, is redefining how our people deserve and receive healthcare.

My big takeaway from Thursday’s marketing seminar is that marketers can take more of a role, a noble role, in fostering improved healthcare access.

In an issue with so very many stakeholders (doctors, community activists, “ordinary” people, to name only a few), I want us to make it more. Don’t ask me how, yet. It can’t be just about the ads – or the brands. It’s can’t be just about knowing.

A survey’s being conducted now – if you’re invited to participate, fill it out please. I’ll report the results. Extra thanks to the quite large number of people who made this SIG event a success. Event photos by Suzanne Jarvis at Shutterfly. Graphic courtesy of Aceofhearts1968, Wikimedia.

Beaucoup Healthcare Advertising Includes Surgical Centers, Medical Tech.

I was at a Houston Wellness Association luncheon, sitting with Geri Konigsberg – she kindly asked me about my medical experience. At first I thought she was inquiring about my cardiological adventures, plumbing and electrical. She was actually checking out my credentials with healthcare and medical marketing. I froze up. It’s been so long since someone asked, my script didn’t default to “Auto.”

So in advance of the seminar tomorrow at Rice, perhaps I ought to refresh myself – and you.

My track record with marketing and advertising healthcare-related products and services falls into four broad categories. Together, they stretch back a considerable length of time.

The patient side of the profession: Medical and dental. That would be clients like St Michael’s Center for Surgery and SurgiCare, freestanding surgical facilities. The Brown Hand Centers. The Barrett Foot & Ankle Centers. Cancer prevention outreach programs for University of Texas/MD Anderson Cancer Center. A retail dental practice for Active Life. MedPlus (a medical clinic system before the name got picked up for an HIS vendor). Some programs are still vigorous and growing. Some are gone. That’s the nature of things.

For employees, I have worked on HR benefits programs for BP and Baker Hughes – I’m grateful for the chance to work on this kind of business ‘cause it opens up a completely different (but quite crucial) part of the healthcare equation.

I have crafted brand communications for medical hardware and software, from digitized mammography to cardiac pacemakers to bioinformatics software. My client list includes Unisys, Intermedics, Medtronics, Global HCA, LifeFormulae.

And there are the building blocks – components of medical systems from Exxon Chemical and DuPont, Abbot Laboratories and 3M (really proud of the flex-circuit ads like the one on the left).

With this kind of rehearsal, maybe I won’t blank again. It’s too rich a record to leave to chance. And thank you, Geri, for your patience.

PS: Feel free (really) to ask for the Richard Laurence Baron Healthcare Experience Sheet – I’ll send it posthaste.

Value Proposition

What’s your word for not-a-lot-of-money? “Value-priced?” “Inexpensive?” “Cheap?”

Despite today’s economic wobblies, there’s still a snooty reluctance to mention actual price in commercials and other advertising media. For years, Walmart’s TV executions, with their animated yellow smiley faces flying around the store like Pong icons with scissors, have been raked up one side and down the other by industry taste fairies. It seems like there’s still something wrong with calling inexpensive goods…adequate. It’ll do. Good enough.

This wasn’t always so, especially in ad examples from America’s Great Depression. In one story, I recall reading a 1930s department store owner put a sign up on a rack of men’s ties:

NOW TEN CENTS
They’re not very good ties
but at 10¢ they’re good enough.

(Anyone know where I can find the original of this retail tale?) Take another example, from one of inventor John Frier’s companies: Alox Shoe Laces. Like his POP sign says above, there are good sets and better sets.

In any hard economic cycle, “Best is the enemy of good enough.” But for reasons of entitlement or sensitivity, it’s not acceptable to say that some goods are better or less good than others. I wonder if that applies to the scale or complexity of the product.

For example, most people know that a 2009 Beemer M6 costs one hell of a lot more than, say, a 2009 Buick LaCrosse. And for about half the Buick’s cost, you can get an adequate car that’ll get you there and back…we understand the differences in these platforms. On the other hand, tell your friends that you’ve found a superb wine for $3.50 or $4.00 and you’re gonna get laughed at. (I suppose you ought to see what I wrote about Estación, below.)

Most retail conversations never say anything outright about the price-value relationship. Even Walmart has changed its apparent presentation to the world. I say “apparent” because it’s mostly thanks to Walmart that Americans can have such relatively high-quality goods at such low prices.

The company’s slogan these days is, “Save money. Live better.” Nothing wrong with that.

Deutser Preview

Talking in advance of this Friday’s AMA Healthcare SIG seminar, Brad Deutser thinks the new administration approach to American medical care is going to require a fundamental shift in how healthcare institutions communicate with – and market to – their customers.

“But we don’t know yet what the new policies will be,” he says. “The immediate challenges are underinsured and uninsured customers…more proactive recognition of this fact will lead the greatest value while serving a given institution’s mission.”

You can hear his take on what’s ahead when you join us Friday at Rice University. Click here for registration.

Photo: David A Farias/Houston Business Journal.

Healthcare Change?

In 1957, Parke, Davis felt that public perception of the high cost of a prescription was so negative, the drug company created and ran ads like this one. The dad on the left is shocked – shocked – that his buddy “…paid $9.00 to get that one prescription filled? Wow!”

Today, if you can get a prescription filled for $9, you feel like you’ve hit the jackpot. Today, we get a new administration in Washington that’s pledged to “do something” about healthcare in America.

So next week, AMA-Houston’s Healthcare Marketing SIG is putting on a big seminar: “Marketing Healthcare under a New Administration.” If you have anything to do with marketing, selling or advertising healthcare services and products, you better be signing up here.

The day and date: Friday, 27 February at 7.30 AM – the SIG’ll have a coffee-and-pastry bar set out for you. The location, Rice University’s Anderson Family Commons (Rice Blvd and Main, Entrance 20), is exactly the right venue for what we hope’s going to be a provocative mixture of marketing and public policy.

The seminar panelists include marketing executive Brad Deutser of Yaffe Deutser; Houston Wellness Association president Jonathan Lack; Lewis Foxhall, MD, President of the Harris County Medical Society; and Tim Schauer, Memorial Hermann Healthcare System. They are going to help us envision the policy changes and marketing challenges that healthcare marketers will have to face in the next four years.

One point we made in the event’s write-up is that American medicine is a business (the Parke, Davis drug ad underscores that). But it’s a business that’s significantly affected by national healthcare policy. Marketing is “downstream” of policy; it’s critical on an operational or tactical level. You don’t think so? Check out Parke, Davis’s ad copy: “…you appreciate what good value you’re getting.”

That’s a hard, hard case to make 50+ years later. Today, nobody feels they’re getting bargains. Sign up now. Maybe you’ll find out how to change your prospects’ thinking.

Parke, Davis & Company is now a subsidiary of the pharmaceutical company Pfizer. Ad #MM0340, Medicine and Madison Avenue On-Line Project, John W. Hartman Center for Sales, Advertising & Marketing History,Rare Book, Manuscript, and Special Collections. Thanks.

Montgomery Brewpub

On the trip back from Atlanta, it was simple enough to program an address into the Tom-Tom: 12 West Jefferson Street, Montgomery, AL. That GPS thingy took us directly to the door of the Montgomery Brewpub just in time for lunch – with beer.

I don’t want you to think that every time Barbara and I go on the road, we navigate by microbreweries and pubs. Nothing could be further from the truth*. (We actually load the Tom-Tom with the addresses of Starbucks stores – Atlanta and Newnan, GA; Montgomery and Mobile; Slidell, Covington and Baton Rouge, LA…and so on. It’s easy: There’s a mapping function on the Starbucks site.)

Actually, we end up depending on AAA TourBooks more often than not. How come? Well, most microbreweries and brewpubs would rather leverage their “fan base” to build repeat business, rather than use relatively expensive classic advertising. True, this’s a generalization. But word-of-mouth can pay off big over time. Outlasting passing fads is a huge deal; being in the AAA TourBook for Alabama for years does pay off.

The Montgomery Brewing Company opened in October, 1995, in a building right in the heart of the city’s old Central Business District. The structure itself was built in 1913 by the Gulf, Mobile & Ohio Railroad to store heavy equipment. We’re coming up on this pub’s 14th birthday…and it’s hung in there.

We’re glad we showed up because we got to try a rarity: “Velvet Elvis” is a dark lager created by brewer Jamie Ray to bridge the gap ‘til it’s time to produce the next batch of stout. Classically, schwarzbier is a medium-bodied, malt-accented dark brew, colored a deep brown, with a chewy texture and a firm, creamy, long-lasting head. That’s what the German Beer Institute says and I’m sticking with it. The Montgomery Brewpub version was real good and so was the food. The staff seemed a bit distracted but served us well.

Sometimes you’ve got to search out the product – it won’t come searching for you. I know, that’s not supposed to be advertising’s role. But so many marcom roles have already shifted over the past decade. With WOM, you can put your advertisements where your (fans’) mouths are. Earlier this week, ours were in central Alabama. Filled with “Velvet Elvis.”

*Why yes, we did stop in Abita Springs for dinner. Why do you ask? Thanks to AAA (again) for roadtripping aids.

Cloud-Watching

Driving to Atlanta from Houston, Barbara and I passed the time by trying to remember the names of various types of clouds. Our combined mental powers were equal to the task. We nailed Cumulus and Stratocumulus, Cirrus, Nimbus, Platypus and Carbuncle.

I don’t know the name of this formation. I use it here to wish everyone Happy Valentine’s Day. Ta from Atlanta…

Photo: “Angels” by Hilleke, www.photoshoptalent.com

Darwin’s 200th

“Happy birthday, dear Darwin,”
Birds and bees and beasts all cheer.
If not the fittest yet, you will be.
Happy birthday.

Illustration: “Darwin 2” by Mythopoeikon, courtesy of Wired.com Photoshop Tennis, 2008.

Guns, Roses

Bless their pointy heads, lobbyists up there in the People's Democratic Republic of Austin [PDRA] are at it again. This time there’s a terrific ad opportunity for some brave company. The Houston Chronicle obtained the data under state open-record laws and has reported on our little problem several times, including today:

For the men, it’s pistols and venison. For the women, flowers and spa treatments. Around the Texas Capitol, gifts are a custom — and lobbyists are buying.

According to the paper, lobbyists delivered 124 flower bouquets; 120 sets of circus tickets (go figure); 70 cookie packets – and 66 pistols. Now let’s ignore two conflicting opinions for the moment. One, our elected officials ought not be taking gifts, lunches or junkets in any way shape or form. The other, an occasional bunch of flowers seems pretty harmless. (But there’s a slippy-slidy slope involved here.) I see…headlines!

“Ruger: The Representatives’ Choice.”

“Give the gift of firearms – Lobbyists do.”

“A dozen roses? A dozen State Senators can’t be wrong.”

I see ads, like the one above. The Texas Ethics Commission says gifting is not a good idea. But since everyone in the Lege thinks it’s okay, let’s make advertising out of it. Ta...

Ad by Prism Design, Inc., with my thanks. Suck UK ceramic gun vase from A+R.

Recessionista Cabernet

Right here in this post, I’m going to wrap the flagging economy around my cheap-assed habits. Friends and acquaintances like John Reeves and Amy Puchot have been chiding my taste for inexpensive wines for years.

Possibly they have used the term, cheap plonk. The tonier sort would refer to Rumpole’s Chateau Thames Embankment, from the eponymous BBC television series. I prefer you consider it a quest.

That’s it – a quest. Not for the Holy Grail but what might be sipped out of it. I seek nothing less than a great wine for as little lolly as possible. That’s not too much to ask, is it? Especially in these parlous times.

Now it just so happens that Burton Tansky is the president and CEO of Neiman Marcus. This knowledgeable expert was quoted in a recent AP article, saying: “The fashionista is now a recessionista.” (If you’re going to cite a retail source, you can hardly do better than that.) That same article mentions a number of well- or very-well-off people who are…downsizing…their displays of wealth.

Of course that’s not Richard – not wealthy, me. Hardly. I simply feel that drinkable wines don’t have to cost an arm and a leg (like, say, a gallon of gas). Believe me, I’ve done that and been there. Spent the bucks. Traveled to wine tastings in Minneapolis, Chicago, Houston, Austin, Dallas. Had the cellar though that was back in Minnesota days when our house actually had a cellar. No more, no more.

Today I can truthfully announce I have not only achieved Tansky’s “recessionista” label. I have found the wine. For $6.50 you can buy a bottle of 2007 Estación Cabernet Sauvignon, from the Colchagua Valley of Chile, at Phoenicia on Westheimer. It is good, good wine – deeply luscious, deeply red and – at 14.3% alcohol – potent enough to make you feel quite excellent after a couple of glasses. $6.50 not including tax.

Along with this high-octane grape juice comes a fine website. You might enjoy visiting it because few of us really keep our eyes on what’s happening Web-wise in the Mercosur, of which Chile is an associate member. (Though in fact, the website is so polished – especially the English version – I wonder where it was created and programmed.) Nevertheless, Vina y Bodega Estampa SA spins a fine yarn.

The Estación brand identity is based Colchagua Station on the Ferrocarril de Palmilla train route, which was built in several segments over more than 50 years. It seems that the 1890 estación (¿Spanish for “station,” si?) borders the vineyards, although it looks abandoned in the website photo.

Every great brand benefits from a great story and Chilean wines have had a strong, inexpensive US market presence for years. Maybe it’s no big surprise that this Recessionista Cab has come along just in time for our slump.

“Texas T-Bone”

The “T-Bone” needs our help. No other state can claim this name – and if the new high-speed rail proposal gains traction, we’d really have something to brag about. In fact, prospective consumers of alternative travel in Texas learned more about the train plan yesterday from a Houston Chronicle article by Peggy Fikac:

The idea of high-speed rail is being pushed again in a big way in Texas, and backers hope to have $12 billion to $18 billion high-speed trains running by 2020. This time, they say they have taken care to ensure the idea won’t fall flat the way a bullet-train push did some 15 years ago.

Here’s a mouthful: The Texas High Speed Rail and Transportation Corporation. It’s the non-profit behind the new plan to achieve high-speed Texas rail in 10 years. “T-Bone” is the shape of the travel corridor between Dallas and San Antonio, with a Houston leg meeting the line in Temple. (That’s “256 miles shorter than running the bases on the straight line.”)

Although Houston’s Judge Robert Eckels is Chairman, some people are afraid this routing arrangement represents a highjack by “people” in Dallas. I’d like to hear more about that.

Texas could have started a new rail system in the mid-90s if Southwest Airlines hadn’t been so frightened by the competition. Now, with the new administration in Washington and an economic demand for better travel options makes rail at least conceivable again. Finally.

But the Texas-T-Bone could benefit from our savvy…the help of sharp graphic designers, art directors and copywriters to start with. Ladies and gentlemen, the THSRTX website needs substantial improvements in styling and navigation. The logo could be better, stronger and more evocative of the “romance of the rail.” Then a talented PR group ought to get involved.

Let’s take it all a step or two further. The T-Bone’s a consumer product (despite the politicians and governmental bodies, NGOs and corporations who are the start-up stakeholders in the venture). That means consumer rules apply: A sense of style is critical to promoting acceptance. I’m going to come back to this point again and again in future posts. High-speed rail is too good an opportunity to screw up this time around.

Got a T-Bone stake? If you do, let me know…get yourself on board before the thing leaves the station. Meanwhile, I’m going to drop a line to the executive director to determine the Corporation’s interest in taking on a professional creative team.

Many, many thanks to Stacy Allen, Prism Design, for revising the antique British Rail poster specially for this blog post. Just what did the people who ran the railroads a hundred years ago know about marketing that has since been forgotten?

Piña Rica

Talking about labels (see below if you missed the Del Monte® post), this one on the right came home attached to a pineapple. I eyeballed it because it’s so well-designed. The color scheme is vivid and says “fresh.” In fact, it led me to an equally excellent website.

Bievenidos a Piña Rica. Here’s a group of Mexican pineapple growers in Veracruz state, south of where I hunt white wing doves. According to the site, 100 haciendas grow 400 tons of pineapples a month, year ‘round. The company says it’s an equally strong supporter of job creation in that part of Mexico, which is badly needed.

Family-owned Ganaflor in Alajuela, Costa Rica sells under an older “Piña Rica” label. It has an equally strong social conscience but…less evolved…brand graphics. It’s clear from the two companies’ labels that there’s some kind of connection – I’m just not certain what that connection is.

Take a break. Read all about Piña Rica in Mexico and you’ll see how the company has adapted a comprehensive brand strategy, from packaging – five to eight pineapples per box, depending on the size of the fruit, 75 boxes per pallet FOB Veracruz – to labeling to importing. Then buy a pineapple: Fresh fruit is good for you.

Label Wonder

The last time I blogged about Del Monte (here), I wondered about the company’s departure from the salsa market. Today, I post to applaud the firm for a remarkably minor detail: How easy the product label comes off the container of Del Monte® Orchard Select® Apricot Halves...that is the label itself, jpeg-ed above.

Now according to a 2004 “Product Spotlight” on FoodProcessing.com:

The intention of packaged produce..like Orchard Select…is to provide premium quality fruit with year-round consistency and convenience for consumers, while extending Del Monte’s reach beyond the “center store.” The Orchard Select brand is…packed in glass and marketed in the chilled produce section. Orchard Select packaging and labels are designed to remind consumers of the days of home canning and the Del Monte heritage of top quality…

Which it did, especially the 24-ounce glass jar, which Barbara decided to recycle as a kitchen storage container. Why not? It’s neat. It comes with a secure top. And you can see through it.

Once Barbara served up the apricot halves in various tasty forms, she placed the empty Mason-type jar in the dishwasher. She had two objectives. One, get the jar clean. The other, help remove the attractive but now unnecessary Del Monte label.

Usually, consumer package labels cannot be removed without the Jaws of Life or a heated scalpel, whichever we don’t have available in the house. This time, Barbara removed jar from dishwasher, simply peeled the label off with gentle fingers, and presented the separated items as last night’s leading example of “making my life a lot easier.”

Digging into the depths of a consumer brand’s packaging (glass jars, label adhesives, that sort of thing) is mainly unproductive – this is a trade-secretive branch of the industry. So what we have is empirical demonstration of the cool, thoughtful and utterly unmessy Del Monte label removal scheme.

Some days, it’s the little things that matter. Thanks, Del Monte. And the apricots taste good, too.

“ORCHARD SELECT” is a trademark registered with the U.S. Patent and Trademark Office since October 31, 1995. For an extra-credit look inside the process of protecting a trademark, see the WIPO decision, “Del Monte Corporation v. David Crumpacker.” “DEL MONTE” is also a registered trademark. “JAWS OF LIFE” is a trademark of Hale Products Inc.

Bumper Sticker

Far outside the Loop
I’m driving around and around
Friendswood in the dark.
No moon, no marks.

Every street and circle
Looks the same,
An endless residential Hell on earth.

A number on a house
Can just be made out: 667.
No, it’s just the neighbor of the Beast.

Copyright © 2003, Richard Laurence Baron.

Open Sky

There’s no lack of bidness advice, good and bad, these days. Still, a new White Paper offers 10 chatty but blessedly brief tips to help beat the economy. It’s yours free from Geraint Holliman, a former colleague of mine in Dialogue International and long-time MD of UK ad agency Open Sky.

The short pepper-upper is a fine antidote against our current days of doom and gloom. My favorite:

Stop listening to the news. Of course we must always be aware of the global economic conditions but the media thrive on headlines and, currently, bad news is good news for the media. Bad news begets bad news: it’s a vicious circle. However, none of your businesses have gone bad overnight have they? They didn’t become bad value or inappropriate value propositions just because a few banks got greedy did they? Have confidence in your brand and what it delivers. So, only turn the news on 10 minutes into bulletins so you can avoid all the doom and gloom and go straight to the ‘puppy rescued from well’ story – you’ll feel better for it.

Trish Cunningham, Manager of Business Development at Brookwoods Group here in Houston, spoke to the same issue this week on LinkedIn: This brings to mind a great quote: “The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” FDR - this still rings true today and quite frankly I believe people have had enough fear tactics to last a few lifetimes.

When things are closing in around you, it doesn’t hurt to have some…guidelines…to post by the computer. Try Open Sky’s White Paper on for size.

Hershey’s® Placement

Did you mark the appearance of a Hershey’s chocolate bar in this morning’s Hi and Lois® comic panels? When America’s largest – and most iconic – manufacturer of chocolate bars shows up in a comic strip, artist Chance Browne makes it charmingly ordinary. (The cartoon is 55 years old after all.)

It drew my attention to the Hershey’s® stock price. It’s playing today at about $33.45, having performed quite a bit better over the past 12 months than most oilfield service company stocks. The chocolate company’s much more stable. As a symbol of hope and normalcy, of Hiram Flagston and his job at Foofram Industries, maybe the Hershey’s bar is unintentionally…perfect.

© 2009, King Features Syndicate, Inc.

Bankers’ Joke

Three bankers and three engineers are traveling by train to Washington to testify before Congress (different committees). At the station, the three bankers each buy a ticket, then watch as the three engineers only buy one ticket.

“How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?” asks one of the bankers. “Watch and you’ll see,” answered an engineer.

They all board the train. The bankers take their respective seats but all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train leaves the station, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, “Tickets, please!” The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

The bankers see this and agree it is a clever idea. So after the hearings, the bankers decide to copy the engineers on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy one ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don’t buy a ticket at all.

“How are you going to travel without a ticket?” says one puzzled banker. “Watch and you’ll see.” answered an engineer.

They board the train and all three bankers jam into a restroom. The three engineers? They cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the bankers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, “Tickets, please!”

Or is this an engineers’ joke? Either way, it came across the Internet. Maybe it explains why I do more work for engineering firms than banks.

Chairman Meow! Combines Quirky Attraction, Chinese Propaganda Artform.

Last September, I was struck by an image that I stumbled over by accident: Chairman Meow, “Great Leader.” Among other visualizations, it’s the invention of designer Kevin McCormick. Since I’m a fan of Soviet-era art and design it is quirkily attractive. Not to mention, the Chairman has an immense range of friends, from Whippets of Mass Destruction (dogs) to Lolruses (marine mammals)…all available on ObeythePureBreed.com.

This is McCormick’s site on Cafepress.com and I thought it would give me a chance to explore a booming etail operation.

This is all down to the “T-shirt economy,” so called by Clive Thompson of Wired because creative people can turn their ideas into businesses by developing clothing and other decorated apparel. On Cafepress, according to reported figures, all this was worth more than $100 million in 2007, with an average 20% in profit.

I think McCormick’s designs deliver imagination and parody at the same time. He himself says, “I started combining propaganda art with heroic portraits of dogs. The designs also allowed me to make social and political commentary.”

His emails filled in some blanks for me, first about his visuals: The designs do resonate with buyers. People are really passionate about their pets, and they think that their breed is the best. My style isn’t original, but I think the concept is. It flips the idea of obedience in relation to pets, and I think seeing a Chihuahua as a dictator definitely is seen as surprising and amusing.
How is Cafepress working out? As far as marketing, a lot of that is trial and error. I have to sometimes be creative, as selling t-shirts through Cafepress is convenient and great, but not high profit margins. To make advertising worthwhile, I really have to make sure I’m reaching the right niches.
Is Cafepress a viable sales mechanism? One thing that I’ve done lately is a sticker campaign, where I distribute free Chairman Meow stickers from the site for people to put in public. People have responded well, and I've sent them all over the world. Not sure if that will translate to sales, but it’s fun knowing that the stickers are on almost every continent! (And new 2009 stickers are now available, BTW.)

I’ve highlighted other examples of this sort of design, like the art of Laura Smith, here. There’s just something about Chairman Meow that tickles me big-time – perhaps because it feels right. At the same time, McCormick is following, even expanding on, the etailer’s creed (according to Thompson): Let your content roam freely online, so it generates as large an audience as possible.
Content wants to be free. But remember that it is fans that drive sales so don’t lock your fans out. This is hard to do for business-to-business marketers unless you get real lucky.

Something else going on right now: Soviet-era art continues to have an impact on the street...none more recently that the Shepard Fairey-designed Obama Inauguration Poster. Designer McCormick says he admires street artist Fairey. But I’ll take McCormick’s lighthearted approach over heavy propaganda every time. Support world domination. Obey the kitty!

Thanks to Kevin McCormick and Obeythepurebreed.com for the excellent material.

Ripped Off

Last week, Hannah Wood wrote about Bucksstar for Mirror.co.uk; in just days, the story has gone from blogland to National Public Radio:

China has confirmed itself as the “king of counterfeiters” with the building of a new shopping centre dedicated to fake brands. Some of the brand impostors at the mall in Nanjing, east of Shanghai, include a McDonalds look-a-like burger bar called McDnoald’s, a Starbucks-style coffee shop called Bucksstar Coffee, and a wannabe Pizza Hut called Pizza Huh. City bosses are under pressure to ban the soon-to-be opened mall after pictures of the fake stores were leaked, causing uproar amongst angry consumers who feared they'd be ripped off.

As popular as the story’s been, I haven’t seen anyone comment on the unfortunate first sentence. China doesn’t have to confirm its inability or unwillingness to clamp down on brand counterfeiters. Knocking off national and international brands has been going on for decades in China. Some days, brand thievery seems like the national business model.

It’s not always easy to find photographs: Google “Fake Brands in China” for yourself and you’ll see links…but not so many photographs of offending rip-offs like Mak Dak.

If the Nanjing shopping center is doing this as a parody or homage, then the owners will be paying royalties to Starbucks, Pizza Hut and McDonald’s for the privilege.

Don’t hold your breath.

BTW, each of the US brand names in this post is protected by one or more trademarks. All rights reserved.

Counseling Gazprom

While you were sleeping, the “gas wars” started again in Eastern Europe, just in time for the roughest part of winter. Russia had been threatening to cut off the flow of natural gas through Ukraine to Europe. As of this morning there are six countries going without. (Remember: Gazprom is the huge Russian monopoly; Transneft is its Ukrainian gas transportation counterpart and customer.)

It’s not the first time Russia and Gazprom have played the natgas shutoff card. What is new is that Gazprom has deployed public relations to provide a level of nuance that I haven’t seen before. Read deep and you’ll see the result of intentions made clear in January 2007 when Kommersant.com announced that the Russian energy giant was going to get some PR counsel on its side for a change.

Gavin Anderson & Company is apparently one of Gazprom’s PR counselors. This morning, on the heels of the news about actions resulting from Gazprom’s suspension of specific gas deliveries, Kate Hill, Gavin Anderson’s London Managing Director, was quoted. “People are going to understand,” she said, “that Gazprom is a company with shareholders, and they cannot be expected to keep supplying a good without payment, or without a plan for future payment.”

The FT.com piece provides even more detail: In commercial terms, the question of who is in the right is not straightforward. The dispute involves questions such as how much Ukraine pays Russia for gas; how much Russia pays in transit fees for the gas that goes through Ukraine; how much Russia can charge in late payment fees; and to what extent the falling price of oil should affect the price.

When you read a headline like “Six countries lose Russian gas,” it’s easy to conclude that Russia is using its natural gas to bully Europe again. It’s even easier to note the horrified reactions from many European leaders who accuse Russian and Gazprom of breaking promises.

Study the press coverage carefully, though, and discover and it’s not a huge let’s-pile-on-Russia media onslaught. In fact, there’s a good bit of “he said/she said” going on. Read critically; it will be clear that many news reports are more balanced than at any time in the last several years.

That tells me the public relations firms are doing their job – you and I may not like it but it does demonstrate there are at least two sides to this story. That’s effective counsel at work.

The “Smalls”

How to enjoy brief visits to unknown worlds? Follow me.

Let’s set the stage: It’s the pleasantly lazy days after Christmas – Happy New Year, BTW. I fulfilled an annual enjoyment this past week, picking up half a dozen magazines at the newsstand and reading them. I do a lot of reading, but dipping into infrequently read publications exposes me to different subjects, unusual ideas, even unlooked-for ads.

This season’s batch includes Foreign Affairs, American Handgunner, Scientific American and Smithsonian. In the back of Smithsonian, I remade my acquaintance with the “Smalls” – those tiny, one- or two-inch adlets that hang out in the final few pages of many magazines.

I admire them. First, they’re a form of advertising that’s been around a very long time. Second, they have to do a lot of heavy lifting for such tiny advertisements. Quite often, these little billboards have been detailed and fine-tuned to the point where they deliver plenty of interested magazine readers to the right websites or the right 800 numbers.

Third, the “Smalls” offer wonderful adventures to unusual places. And I don’t mean the Pakistani hinterlands or Mexican border towns. Just on this page, you can thrill yourself with a drop in at Heirloom Orchards, where “every apple has a story” (www.HeirloomOrchards.com). Read all about the Albemarle Pippin, the Arkansas Black and…the Spitzenberg, among others.

Shop a hat. How can you resist that photo near the bottom of the page with debonair John Helmer himself sporting the $14 “European Beret” (www.JohnHelmer.com)? So far, we’re still in Oregon, another virtue of these smaller ads: They come from unexpected places like Portland, OR, and Hopkinton, MA – that’s Upton Tea Imports, in case you didn’t notice; visit www.Uptontea.com and read the latest installment of “Reversals of Fortune in the Tea Industry.”

Men’s wide shoes – who knew shoes came 6E wide? – handcrafted wooden jigsaw puzzles, carnelian-nosed reindeer jewelry, Shaker boxes. Turn a page and drop in on The Bow Tie Club (www.bowtieclub.com) which is a great brand idea but lacks conceptual support. For really vivid bow ties, swing by Beau Ties Ltd of Vermont (www.beautiesltd.com); if you don’t see something that’ll blind your friends, Bill Kenerson vows to make it up for you special.

From time to time over the years, I have used shops advertised by “Smalls” to find the perfect Christmas or birthday gift, the right business mementos for an overseas agency trip. These micro-adventures engage you in authentic ancient artifacts, museum-quality models or down bathrobes, your choice.

They also serve as continual reminders that effective advertising doesn’t necessarily stand or fall on big ideas and bigger budgets: That’s why I think of the “Smalls” as micro-billboards.

I’ll sign off for 2008 with one of this year’s faves: Athena Pheromones (www.Athenainstitute.com). Not sold in stores, these “fragrance additives for men and women” promise a bouquet of earthly delights. More important, they come with an irresistible testimonial from Larry in New York: This stuff is like catnip. Too many women come after me. I am looking for a woman my own age but the 10X attracts them all.

Wow – I’m sold!

Juicy Fruity

Thanks to Paradise on a Hanger, I won’t be going into 2009 without a marvelously loud tropical shirt. (Consider it my version of guerilla marketing, will ya?)

The little number you see on the right is a Jams World® special called “Juicy Fruity.” It’s got your super organic pineapple design with unmatched panels of lime green and gray. Jams World makes these shirts bright and smart – which must mean I bought it by accident. The button-ups are made from 100% spun crushed rayon, an unusual fabric that receives a permanent “crush” (not wrinkled) finish prior to printing. So I get these tiny pockets of air between the soft fabric and my tender skin; it’s amazingly comfortable as well as dramatic.

You can poke around in the Jams World…uh…world for yourself – it started as a small surf shop in Honolulu. But I'm not going to make it easy: Search it out for yourself. And if you guess what I covet for my next Signalwrite marketing wearable, I’ll throw a genuine Hawaiian pineapple your way. Ta for the run-up to Nine!

Street Marketing

Cruising the blogs, I found this superbly telling photo posted on the Shiela Edelman blog, without comment. It’s enjoyable in so many ways, I’ll do the commenting while saying “thank you” to Edelman in Pittsburgh.

The grate adaptation goes beyond an imaginative sales message or creative medium (though the street ad for Vijay Sales encompasses both of these). To me, it drives home an understanding that Indian consumer marketing is moving up…it’s already come a long way but its roots are in the street – with the people.

There’s some portion of Indian society that will recognize and appreciate the wry humor behind “Need a New Barbecue?” Thanks to Google, though, we can find out even more. Vijay Sales is (apparently) a very large chain in India, principally known for electronics and appliance sales. It has a large-scale presence on the Internet in terms of mobile phones and other CE goodies.

The telephone number shown in the photo is for Vijay Sales #384, in Prabhadevi, Mumbai; “near Citibank,” says the Yellow Pages. And one additional virtue of the Worldwide Web is the customer reviews: This particular Vijay store gets hammered on customer service. For example:

Cash counter guy not able to give me a receipt, saying that the computers are down, they can’t generate bill. Further, he tells me that credit card slip is sufficient. I DEMAND some valid proof of my payment and purchase. 30K is not chana-singdana. I am given a paltry receipt without any order number to keep.

This shopper advised that buying something off-the-shelf from Vijay (like a barbecue grill) was alright but don’t count on any kind of after-sales installation.

Fortunately, we can just look at the “street art” idea behind this particular sales promotion and be amused – probably the way most non-Vijay customers were. I’ll also drop a line to Sunil Shibad in Mumbai – maybe he knows this campaign or the retailer. Meantime, Merry Christmas Eve!

…To China

Flying to China, traveling
“Via regions closer to the North Pole,”
You can save three hours.

Dashing through the gemstone sky,
You note, besides the ice,
Some tiny speedy dots in line ahead.

Seeing with a sharper eye than ours,
You will discern the shapes of that odd chain,
The antlers of the reindeer in their harness.

Bringing up the rear, the black stuffed sleigh
And tiny, red-robed figure – infinitesimal:
The sacred Santa weighs the naughty and the nice.

Flying to China, if you’re good,
You’ll see this sight just once in life.
Or roving (very lucky) at the right time of year.

“Flying to China” was created for and first read aloud at John and Susan Reeves’s Christmas Party. Thanks to everyone for giving me a chance to read this – and to Susan, who suggested a poem in the first place. Merry/Happy. Copyright © 2008 Richard Laurence Baron. All rights reserved. Photo by Orin Zebest, San Francisco, CA.

"Purple" Bullies

According to today’s Houston Chronicle, the makers of Purple Stuff (Funktional Beverages Inc.) are concerned citizens and reviewing their label – after great big, loud concerns over the drink’s trademarked term, “Lean with it.”

Lean is identified as “a street term for the mixture of codeine syrup with soft drinks or alcohol.”

In the copyrighted article by Jemimah Noonoo, this: Also Tuesday, community activist Quanell X protested Purple Stuff and Drank at a news conference in southeast Houston. “This is a disgrace to our community,” he said, standing in front of a service station where Purple Stuff is sold. “We are calling on the business people of our community to do the right thing by not exploiting the drug culture that has taken so many lives.”

Marketers, CPG firms in particular, are frequently sensitive to community pressure, especially when the manufacturer/retailer is small and local. This may explain why “community activists” are going after Funktional and not – surprise – the Coca-Cola Company.

Can we expect to see the activists picketing the Coca-Cola plant on Brittmore Road because the world’s largest soft drink company is exploiting the drug culture? After all, things go better with Coke.*

*Read all about this famous theme at Some Velvet Blog.

Coffeehouse Christmas

“The world really is our coffeehouse.” Here’s where we meet, talk, discuss our businesses, share one another’s lives. It’s where, when you walk in the door, you will hear me call out, “Merry Christmas!” (or “Happy Hanukkah” or “Happy New Year” or many another seasonal greeting).

This year, 2008, has been chills and spills and thrills from the get-go. You should know: You have hung in there with me among all the bangs and blows of a bizarre 12 months. If it wasn’t a family death, it was a great big trade show or a trip to Denver or a hugeous hurricane.

If you’ve had the time, you’ve been able to track Richard-and-Barbara’s travels by the blog posts about coffeehouses: Plantation Coffee in Phoenix, Dalhart’s Superstar Coffee Company, Bastrop’s Coffee Dog. The road traveled has had quite a few caffeinated pauses (a seeming contradiction) along the way.

Despite everything…here we are again in December, at Christmastime. It’s amazing. You’re amazing. You’ve stuck with me through thick and thin this year, as colleagues and kin, friends and acquaintances.

I’m very grateful: My thanks for your business and support, love and kisses. ‘Tis the season to be merry and I hope you enjoy every vivid moment of it.

Also, please accept my best wishes for a fruitful year ahead. We will have many new things to confront together, some to be accepted, some to be overcome. All can be done at our nearby coffeehouse with a fresh cup of java or two or three. I’ll buy.

Merry/Happy all of these: Hanukkah begins 12/21 – the same day as Winter; Christmas Eve on 12/24 as usual. Kwanzaa starts 12/26, which is also Boxing Day (I always thought that was the day you cleared up all the thrashed Christmas wrappings). And “Festivus for the rest of us” added by Chuck Curtis. And "Merry Chrismakah, Hannumas" from Mark Lipschitz. Thank you to Prism Design, Inc., for the holiday coffee label design.

Bratz™ Angst

They have their own channel on YouTube, and their own music videos. They have an “exposé” video courtesy of The Wall Street Journal. They are the subject of blogs coast to coast. What they are is Bratz Dolls from MGA Entertainment, which began marketing them in 2001.

Some consumers just plain hate Bratz and everything they stand for. Certainly, there’s been enough press about how Bratz dolls – and their multiple advertising avenues – are corrupting young girls’ body images, etc. Other consumers believe there’s simply something evil about girls who just want to have fun.

These folks are probably satisfied about the latest news: US District Court Judge Stephen Larson granted Mattel, Inc., an injunction to stop rival toymaker MGA Entertainment from producing and selling the Bratz dolls. This comes after a federal jury found that Bratz dolls were originally conceived by a designer who worked at Mattel and illegally took the designs to MGA.

Advertisers and ad agencies take note: MGA may no longer make, sell, advertise or license products from its core Bratz lineup or any line extensions, such as Lil’ Bratz, Bratz Boyz and Bratz Petz. All this because one company or person wasn’t (apparently) honest.

Bratz fans – passionate stakeholders – either believe that the trial has proven MGA’s guilt, or that Mattel is simply muscling in on Bratz because the older toy company has been losing market share. Do a bit of reading on the Web; you’ll discover just how informed and engaged these fans are.

I don’t much care for the Bratz concept; I’m hardly in the toys’ target demographic. (Have you SEEN the Bratz Boyz?) But MGA has been making quite a bit of money by engaging Bratz fans in all media. Right now, those fans are upset and depressed.

Although it’s far more complex a case history that can be covered in just a few ‘graphs, the owner loyalty elements alone are worth examining in greater detail. Maybe after Christmas. Ta.

Civilization’s End

I have met the enemy – it’s the French. Brown-Forman put out a holiday drinks pamphlet this week, an advertising supplement in the Houston Chronicle, bought and paid for by Spec’s, and a proper promotional piece for the holidays.

Various Brown-Forman booze brands are presents, complete with recipes for a number of different seasonally styled drinks. (I’d like to think the beverage conglomerate is doing something right: In the teeth of the economic meltdown we’re having, Brown-Forman reported a 4% second-quarter operating income growth this week: “Jack Daniels and Finlandia, dey been berry, berry good to us!”)

Any road, on the Chambord® Raspberry Liqueur spread, the top recipe is one of the brand’s standbys, the French Martini. It’s not enough, apparently, that this mongrel uses vodka. There’s also some Chambord for flavoring and it reads like a candy recipe:

2 shots Pravda luxury Polish vodka*

2½ shots fresh pineapple juice

½ shot Chambord raspberry liqueur
1 twist lemon peel.

Pour each of the above into a tall bar glass. Shake with ice, pour into a cocktail or martini glass and serve.

Friends, the Chambord mixologists have no shame: This French Martini is more like a Mixed Fruit Cocktail. Purists know that the true Martini uses very, very dry gin!

Googling “Chambord French Martini,” you’ll discover dozens of listing and blogs whose readers top-rate the concoction – 540 Drinksmixer.com readers rate it at 9.5 which is disconcerting.

It’s the end of civilization, foretold in the Book of Revelations or Marvel Comics. Still, on your behalf, I will force myself to mix and drink one or two or three French Martini drinks prior to Christmas – perhaps Santa and his reindeer will arrive with salvation before the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse descend.

What can you expect? The Pravda Perfect Martini not only uses 2 ounces of vodka, but 1 ounce of “pure water.” Horror!

Dad Drank..?

Beginning December with liquor ads is appropriate: Christmas is just ‘round the corner. The coming season is filled with opportunities to drink, drink, drink. (But, like, you know, do it responsibly.)

I’ve been reminded of two utterly different ad concepts for brown liquors since I ran across them in one issue of a single magazine: One full-page from Knob Creek (top left) and one for Canadian Club (bottom left). The campaigns couldn’t be more different.

Knob Creek’s ads have been praised as highly designed; the look is metro-modern. This small-batch bourbon’s after the upscale drinker, so maybe it’s not twee* to come up with a slogan like “Drink Life Deeply” but it feels that way. I also would have liked to spend more time hanging over a stylish bar drinking a bourbon by myself. I never looked as good as that model right down to the mildly unshaven look.

So I’m probably jealous to prefer the Canadian Club campaign, “Damn Right Your Dad Drank It.”

It’s a masterpiece of subversion and particularly evocative for me. I can see my daddy in the various photographs. Actually, I can see me because that’s the Dad-Gen to which the CC folks are referring.

I’m enjoyed the daylights out of these ads, even though I’m not in the target demographic. Energy BBDO, Chicago, has nailed the thinking, the styling and the concept.

My daddy, BTW, drank Old Overholt and was proud of it. When was the last time you hear anyone drinking rye?

Both campaigns are heavily covered in the trade press and the blogosphere. Steve Hall, tireless marcom observer who runs the AdRants social network, has portrayed both campaigns – you can read about them here and here.

As a final note, Catharine Taylor, blogging on Adverganza, highlighted the Canadian Club campaign, too. She mentioned the politically incorrect nature of the ads – echoed by one anonymous commenter, “Yes, it’s amazing how the ads demean women and exclude minorities at the same time.” Right!

Dear Whoever-You-Are-Anonymous: It’s liquor advertising, dear. Review the marketing brief and lighten up.

*Close enough: “…affectedly or excessively dainty, delicate, cute, or quaint,” Merriam-Webster.com, and appreciation for a job well done to Energy BBDO.