Went a-Googling for a joke, and found this at www.grouchyoldcripple.com, who posted it some time back from Ralph Gizzip (and which naturally I have changed for the worse).
An American tourist in London decides to skip his tour group and explore the city on his own. He wanders about, seeing the sights and occasionally stopping at a ‘quaint pub’ to soak up the local culture, chat up the lads, and have a pint or three.
After a bit, he finds himself in a very upmarket neighborhood...big, stately residences. No pubs, no shops, no restaurants, and worst of all...NO PUBLIC TOILETS.
He really, really has to go, what with the lagers and the bitters. He finds a narrow side street, with high walls surrounding the adjacent buildings, and decides to use the wall to solve his problem. As he is unzipping, he is tapped on the shoulder by a London Bobby, who says, "Beg pardon, sir, you simply cannot do that here, you know."
"I'm very sorry, officer," replies the American, "but I really, really HAVE TO GO, and I just can't find a public restroom."
"Ah, yes," said the Bobby. "Just follow me.” He leads the American to an alley, past some dustbins, then along a wall to a gate, which he opens. "In there," points the Bobby. "Whizz away, anywhere you choose."
The American enters and finds himself in the most beautiful garden he has ever seen. Manicured lawns, statuary, fountains, sculptured hedges, and huge beds of gorgeous flowers, all in perfect bloom.
Since he has the Bobby's blessing, he unzips his trousers, unburdens himself – and is vastly relieved. As he comes back through the gate, he says to the policeman, "That was really decent of you...is that 'British Hospitality?'"
"No, sir," replies the Bobby, with a satisfied smile on his face. “That is the French Embassy."
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here are some of my favorite jokes of late... They are all pirate jokes - be forwarned.
What is a pirates favorite cheese?
....Jarlsburg
Which is a pirates favorite body of water?
....the Arctic Ocean
Where do pirates travel in the states?
....they just love ole Arkansas
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