Bakers Saddened

Steve Collier sent this: “I hope this does not break your heart. I hope that you can pull yourself together. Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.” The news item is all over the net by now – one source has attributed it to a Mr. Joseph White in Indiana. I have added information from my own historical records.

Poppin’ Fresh, the Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Fresh was buried in a lightly greased coffin. The grave site was piled high with flours. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and Captain Crunch. The eulogy was delivered by Aunt Jemima, who lovingly described the Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Well known for doing his own stunts, Fresh was badly burned in a microwave oven accident on a movie set in the early ‘70s. He also became the subject of off-color jokes over the past several decades, such as ‘Yo’momma like the Pillsbury Doughboy: Everyone gets a poke!’ Despite being a little flaky at times and frequently pie-eyed, he was still a crusty old man and considered a roll model for millions.

According to a source close to the family, Fresh is survived by his wife Play Dough; two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; Fresh and his wife had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. Piping hot rumors, though, credit Fresh with a girlfriend of many years, Poppie; a son, Popper; another son, Bun Bun; a cat named Biscuit; and Flapjack the dog.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 12 minutes.

RIP, Poppin' - you were the toast of the town.

Pillsbury and the Doughboy character are trademarks of The Pillsbury Company. Photo from www.pillsburybaking.com.